Did you know that cliques are a
part of some Sunday morning at church services? A clique is a close group of friends
who hang out with each other because of common interests. Being intimate with a
few individuals isn’t bad. When friends turn into an exclusive group, a clique
is formed. Its existence can cause the foundation of the church to crumble just
as if termites were actually responsible for it.
Church cliques get formed
unintentionally when church members socialize before and after the church services.
They start to find out that they have common interests with others. At the next
church service, the group is starting to group themselves together. This can become
a recurring event up to a point where other people feel awkward joining in.
The feeling of being an outsider is
especially serious to church visitors, who may have recently found the courage
to go to church. They look around for acceptance. Instead they could come in
contact with the church cliques. This is one of the reasons why church visitors
attend services once (or twice), and do not return. Make it a goal at your house
of worship to constantly reach out to church visitors, and let them know they
are loved.
Does Jesus approve of cliques? In
the New Testament, Jesus spent much of His time with His clique, the twelve
disciples. John, James and Peter were part of Jesus’ inner group. What made our
Savior’s’ circle of close people different from the cliques that exist in
churches today?
First, Jesus and his disciples are
seen as a symbol of inspiration instead of a source of rejection. This group
went to the needy, and made them feel loved and whole. Second, Jesus formed the
disciples not for His own personal needs. It was formed them so that He could
have more people to spread His message of redemption.
Jesus’
ministry was based on accepting people. He erased the artificial boundaries of
culture and status, looked beyond people’s sin, and accepted them. He touched
lepers, ate with sinners, visited the homes of tax collectors, and washed the
feet of the betrayer. Through countless loving acts, Jesus clearly communicated
that He would never withhold His love no matter the circumstance. What should
we do?
How
does your church practice showing love to its visitors? Here are a few
suggestions:
ü They
are God’s unique masterpieces.
ü Learn
their stories by asking them questions.
ü Comfort
them when they are hurting, and rejoice with them in their happiness.
ü Be
encouraging, and celebrate their individuality.
ü Accept
them as they are with no conditions. (The Holy Spirit can bring about change if
it is needed).
ü Do
not betray their trust.
ü The
reason we are to love (and welcome) others is because Jesus asked us to.[i]
Too often we leave the job of
hospitality, of friendliness and inclusiveness, to someone else…Just like high
school, we walk into church and sit with our same friends in our same
section…We assign people to groups, we divide by difference and common
interests…
Many times we have community groups and we don’t want new people to join because a new person will “mess up the dynamics.” The excuse many of us Christians make (when we are aware of our actions) is that even Jesus himself had a close, inner circle. We argue that we can’t be close friends with everyone…Those things are true.
But we are to befriend the outcast too. And if we are honest with ourselves, sometimes we simply don’t want to. It takes energy and effort to befriend new people. It takes risk. And we are about our wants. We want to sit with our clique, the friends that make us feel loved…
Some people are desperate for community. They are searching for friendship, and they have come to the church, the place where we should be the most friendly, where they should be most welcome. They’ve come half-way. They’ve done their part in trying something new, being vulnerable, [and] walking into an unknown.
Now it is time for us to do our part and say, “You are welcome in this place.” Our cliques, be it intentional or unintentional, are a contradictory representation of the inclusiveness, warmth, and sacrificial love of Jesus. (Karen E. Yates)[ii]
[i] “I am giving you a new command: that
you keep on loving each other. In the same way that I have loved you, you are
also to keep on loving each other.” (John 13:34, C JB)
[ii] Sources used:
·
“Church Cliques: How is it Affecting the Church?” (http://www.jesusreignsministries.net/church-cliques-how-is-it-affecting-the-church)
·
“Conquering Church Cliques:
How to Welcome Others” by Julie Barrier
· “Coping with Cliques” by Becky Sweat
This
topic was suggested by friend and blog member, Sally Harris.
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