Thursday, March 9, 2017

The No-Leave Policy

“Be strong and be brave. Don’t be afraid of those people because the Lord your God is with you. He will not fail you or leave you. The Lord will lead you. He Himself is with you. He will not fail you or leave you. Don’t worry. Don’t be afraid.” Deuteronomy 31:6, 8 (ERV)

When I was a child, I  was an extrovert that got my energy from other people. I felt comfortable this way. As I grew up, I started to feel more and more comfortable by myself. I enjoyed solo hobbies like reading, writing, drawing, and listening to music. The safer I felt alone. The less I needed to rely on other people.

It wasn't long before I became introverted and everything I knew about myself and the world around me felt backwards. You can walk down the street, pass hundreds of people and politely ignore them. You can sit at a coffee shop for hours and never speak a word to someone sitting inches away.

“Language... has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone.” (Paul Tillich)

As someone who has a tendency to slip into mild depression, I have to periodically check in with myself and make sure I'm not doing too much (or too little) of anything. While over-scheduling and over-socializing can lead to anxiety, exhaustion and stress, a lack of social stimulation can be deadly. These are seven health risks of being a loner:

1.  Loners Perceive Stress More Strongly Than Social People - Isolated people and social people who were exposed to the same stressors perceived them differently. The loners interpreted the stress as more significant and had a more stressful body response to it.

This suggests both a decreased tolerance to stress and an increased reaction to it. Stress causes cortisol to be released by the brain which triggers reactions in all of the body’s important systems, stressing the heart, lungs, digestive system and suppressing the immune system.

But the Lord was with me. He gave me strength to tell the message. All those who are not Jews heard it. And I was saved out of the mouth of the lion.” 2 Timothy 4:17 (New Testament) (WE)

2.  Loneliness Causes Disturbances In The Natural Sleep Cycle - People who are lonely on average tend to get less restorative sleep. They often wake up or sleep lightly and feel less rested in the morning which over time can cause mental and physical distress. It's suggested that people who are lonely spend more time rolling around, tossing and turning, and stressing out than they do actually sleeping.

“There is none [lonelier] than the man who loves only himself.” (Abraham ibn Ezra)

3.  Loneliness and Depression Can Come Hand-In-Hand - Though it's hard to say in most cases which came first (the loneliness or the depression) the two often are found together. The suicide risk is higher for people who live alone, and spend time alone (than it is for people who have roommates and a social life). And it's harder for people who are lonely to have fulfilling friendships, because they can feel draining and one-sided.

“Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” (Henry Rollins)

4.  A Lonely Body Doesn't Have Its Defenses Up - People who are lonely tend to struggle with a suppressed immune system. Studies show that anti-viral response and the production of antibodies are limited and greatly affected in the immune system of someone who is socially isolated. This puts lonely people at a higher risk of getting sick or fighting illnesses.

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” (Maya Angelou)

5.  Loneliness Has Effects on Social Interaction - People who have lived in social isolation are less likely to have successful social interactions. They can achieve a positive exchange of energy and endorphin release with regularly socialized individuals during interactions. The more loners have negative social experiences, the less likely they will be to continue trying, which reinforces the loneliness.

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”(Mother Teresa)

6.  Loners Experience Negativity More Severely - When you spend most of your time alone, your reference system is not accurate. So when you are around people, small instances that might be considered negative (feel deeply negative to you). People who are socially isolated have much stronger reactions to negative behavior than people who are socially active, and more unresponsive to instances of negativity.

“Stretch a hand to one unfriended, and thy loneliness is ended.” (William Arthur Dunkerley)

7.  Loneliness Decreases Life-Span - Loneliness stresses your immune system, your heart, your circulatory system, your respiratory system, your digestive system, and your mental health. It also affects the way others see you.

Doctors find treating patients who have a support system have a more positive medical outlook than patients without any support system (alone).
“When Christ said: I was hungry and you fed me, he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept on hurting him. The same hunger…loneliness (the same having no one to be accepted by…loved and wanted by). Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part (that's real hunger).” (Mother Teresa) [i]



[i] Adapted from “7 Health Risks of Being A Loner” by Kaitlyn Wylde
 





 
 
 

 

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