Are You Employed at the Rumor Mill?

Gossip is when you reveal a secret…

1.   You were intentionally asked not to.[i]

                                                         

2.    You are sure should not have been revealed (even though you were not told to tell the secret).

3.   You have not verified with the person you are talking about as true.

4.   You speak negatively about someone that puts them in an unflattering manner.

5.   You talk about someone else cryptically (suggesting scandalous or questionable character).

6.    You start out with a story that begins like this: “You know; they say…” This is a red-flag for large amounts of gossip. Whoever “they” are does not need your help in defending their honor.

Gossip is not when …

1.    You are processing through a conflict with another person, and ask a neutral, confidential third party to steps in for conflict resolution. The words spoken are straightforward facts, are not blameworthy, provide guidance, and spiritual support.

2.  You provide an honest opinion when asked for it in employment situations, a scholarship, or a leadership position.

3.     You give the positive attributes of person’s character that impart grace and honor to them. The less-than-lovely parts of that individual’s personality are left unsaid.[ii]

Here are some insightful verses on gossip (or rumors) to conclude this post with (that are all from The Message and the book of Proverbs):

1.      “Careful words for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything.”[iii]

2. “God can’t stomach liars; He loves the company of those who keep their words.”[iv]

3. “Gossips can’t keep secrets, so never confide in blabbermouths.”[v]

4. “Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.”[vi]

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[i] The rumor mill is a source of gossip (or unverified information) that has been passed along verbally, or in writing.

[ii] Adapted from Keep It Shut by Karen Ehman, chapter seven “But I’m Just Sharing a Prayer Request”

[iii] Proverbs 13:3

[iv] Proverbs 12:22

[v] Proverbs 20:19. 

[vi] Proverbs 21:23