“Fathers, do not exasperate your
children, that they may not lose heart.”
(Colossians 3:21 NAS) I am fully aware at this point in my life that I do not
excel in my fathering skills. My wife feels that my parenting abilities swiftly
declined to a C- about the time I was dealing with my cancer. (Allena was
thirteen, and in middle school. See post Remembering
the Past.)
After
that time (though I was still involved in her school life), I lost a lot of my
patience with her crazy antics and female drama. Though I will always love and
care for her, I find no pleasure in constantly dealing with an extreme wacky
version of myself.
As
a young adult, Allena is kind and compassionate. She has matured so much. As a dad, I am constantly at the end of my
rope with some thoughtless word uttered or deed done that is geared towards her
mother or me. I hate the sound of my voice as I once again harp on things like
her trash pit of a room, her clean clothes that are piling up outside the
laundry room (our room), skipping her college classes, having no regard for
picking up her stuff from the common living areas.
At
times I am so flustered that a red-faced me yells mean sentiments to my
daughter that have been buried deep in my heart. At times, I’m sure that what’s
come out of my mouth has neither edified nor given Allena anything positive to
build her life on.
I
try to respect who Allena is, but at times I want to edit parts of her to
keeping her from dealing with all the negatives involved with being an
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) individual. One day if Allena
chooses to be a mother, I hope she uses all the positive stuff I taught her and
ignores the bad. Dads, be the best at your job that you can be.
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