Superficial

Superficial social niceties are far different from the deep emotion of thanksgiving.”  (Alexandra Katehakis)

One of my biggest gripes in our society today is sayings that you mean at the moment, but really don’t care for the answer. Some people honestly mean these things, but others use them to be viewed as nice (and caring) in today’s society.

My first example is the question, “how are you?’’ Unless it’s someone who really cares, they want the answer “fine.” The next time someone asks you that question (who you know is only being nice) be honest, and watch their eyes glaze over, or wander to their phone or someone beyond you.  In the future, don’t ask this question unless you are prepared for an honest answer. Refrain from asking this at a funeral (memorial service, or celebration of life) because the answer is obvious that person is not doing well. It’s an insensitive question to ask at a time like this.

At a death service, this Christian statement is made to comfort the bereaving, but is often not followed through on. It is, “I’ll be praying for you.” How many people do that, or forget about their promise by the time they get home. Do this instead. Say a short pray with the person right there. I guarantee your thoughtfulness will leave a lasting impression of thoughtfulness. The receiving line may not be happy with you, but they will wait for a brief prayer to God (for this person in their time of need) If you feel uncomfortable with that, go somewhere and say a prayer so you will not forget to. This person needs your prayers more now than ever.

Never say, "I promise..." You have no idea if you can fulfill what you are promising at the moment. Avoid doing this with a child as they expect adults to follow through on promises. They have problems with shades of gray. Death is the great promise breaker. Instead say, "I will do my best to..." This statement allows room for change. It is not as definite as "I promise..." I always appreciate statements based in reality (rather than non-reality).

We should all live by the advice given in Matthew 5:33-37 (MSG). Are you doing this?  “And don’t say anything you don’t mean…You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it... In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.