Hang On

“Bipolar is like being in a roller coaster ride. Sometimes you can predict drop-offs and others you just have to hang on because the next turn sends you into an unexpected spiral. Sometimes you are laughing and throwing your hands in the air and then other times you are clinging, simply holding on for dear life screaming at the top your lungs.” (HealthyPlace)

Though I have been assured by two mental health professionals that I do not have Disassociate Identity Disorder (DID or multiple personalities), you will need to decide  that for yourself at the conclusion of this post. Even when I am properly medicated, I am a man of complex emotions (just ask my wife, daughter, and three Chihuahuas). I am a lot like a shiny multi-faceted diamond; there are many sides to my personality that make up the total me. So that my loving ever-patient wife, Bobbi, can keep track of who I am regularly, she has jokingly numbered (and identified) who she is communicating with:

FACET #1 “Blunt Robert”-This is the me that gets angry, loud, defensive to protect my opinion, and can often be verbally abusive out of fear. Those that have met this side of me find him rather intimidating and overwhelming. He's not good with patience. According to Bobbi, I look like Satan when I'm in irritation mode (red-faced and loud). I'm big on furious ultimatives, dares Bobbi to follow through on promises, vindictive in using Bobbi's own words against her, and do not take her correction well. When I feel it is needed, fight in public spaces is not a problem.(Most the time, I don't like negative energy of this facet of me.)

FACET #2 “Nice Robert”-This is the polite me that loves to serve others by making life pleasant for those around me. This side of me loves to verbally connect with others as I find our commonalities. This would be the instructive teacher (and leader) in me. This Robert communicates on Facebook a lot. He is also the person my family and friends are mainly associated with. This Robert can't do enough to make Bobbi happy.

FACET #3 “Normal Robert”- This is the unselfish, charming family man my wife married and Allena’s loving father. This is the optimistic, encouraging me presented on my blog. This is the me that loves to empathize with anyone’s challenges. This is the Robert present the majority of the time in social events.

FACET #4 “Paranoid Robert”- This version of me is rather jaded, and questions everything in life. He does not deal positively with generalities about his personality. He does enjoy being in an atmosphere where he can provide unique insights on whatever topic is being discussed at the moment. This version of Robert is curious about life in general (which positively aids him in writing and blogging).

For those of you who know me well, maybe you can better understand the unique child of God I am now (and always will be) with an unforgettable personality.