Would you say you’re an encourager who
constantly seeks to make people the best version of themselves possible, or a discourager
(whether purposely or inadvertently) emotionally tears people down to less than
their God-given potential? The difference between these two words lies in
knowing when to refrain from speaking.
I wish I could tell you that the title of
this blog (ENCOURAGE ME) is what I always do in my private life, but that would
be a lie. Often my words can be full of sarcasm, vindictive, full of hateful
bluntness, and other negative vibes that I should not be putting out in the
world when I am enraged about something trivial (in the light of eternity). We
all can change (and improve) in becoming better encouragers.
I believe the key to becoming a better
encourager is to be an observer of a person’s positive qualities. Be mindful to
restate the compliment appropriately from your head to your mouth at the time
you feel it could be most needed. Your heavenly Father will help you know the
right thing to say. Here’s a hint to something I learned the hard way. If you
wish to compliment a woman on a piece of clothing, verbally focus on the
clothing, and not her body in the clothing.
This rule would not apply if the person has
lost massive amounts of weight. Appropriately comment on how great they look.
Here’s an error I made to an African American co-worker wearing a jungle print
shirt. Though the receiver of the compliment knew what I meant, another
co-worker was offended to the point of lodging an official complaint on me
(second party sexual harassment). As a wiser, older Robert looks back know, I
wonder why I thought the term “you look like a jungle bunny” was positive in my
head then. (I am also offended by the stupidity of my younger self, but I have
learned and changed for the better.)
Just a word to the wise, avoid complimenting a woman on her impending motherhood unless you are absolutely sue she is pregnant (and not a larger woman). Avoid saying anything. The embarrassment on both you and the receiver is not worth it, and can be avoided.
Just a word to the wise, avoid complimenting a woman on her impending motherhood unless you are absolutely sue she is pregnant (and not a larger woman). Avoid saying anything. The embarrassment on both you and the receiver is not worth it, and can be avoided.
Philippians 2:13 (TPT) gives this advice on
being an incredible encourager: “God will
continually revitalize you, implanting within you the passion to do what
pleases him.” I am blessed to have many people that fulfill
the role of “encourager” for me (when I need it most). What changes in your
life do
you need to make right now (so when you are gone), and all that remains is the
memory of you. People will connect your name to the word “encourager”
automatically?
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