Thursday, September 10, 2020

Self-Made

“There is no such thing as a ‘self-made’ man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts as well as our success.” (George Matthew Adams)

Would you say you’re an encourager who constantly seeks to make people the best version of themselves possible, or a discourager (whether purposely or inadvertently) emotionally tears people down to less than their God-given potential? The difference between these two words lies in knowing when to refrain from speaking.

I wish I could tell you that the title of this blog (ENCOURAGE ME) is what I always do in my private life, but that would be a lie. Often my words can be full of sarcasm, vindictive, full of hateful bluntness, and other negative vibes that I should not be putting out in the world when I am enraged about something trivial (in the light of eternity). We all can change (and improve) in becoming better encouragers.

I believe the key to becoming a better encourager is to be an observer of a person’s positive qualities. Be mindful to restate the compliment appropriately from your head to your mouth at the time you feel it could be most needed. Your heavenly Father will help you know the right thing to say. Here’s a hint to something I learned the hard way. If you wish to compliment a woman on a piece of clothing, verbally focus on the clothing, and not her body in the clothing.

This rule would not apply if the person has lost massive amounts of weight. Appropriately comment on how great they look. Here’s an error I made to an African American co-worker wearing a jungle print shirt. Though the receiver of the compliment knew what I meant, another co-worker was offended to the point of lodging an official complaint on me (second party sexual harassment). As a wiser, older Robert looks back know, I wonder why I thought the term “you look like a jungle bunny” was positive in my head then. (I am also offended by the stupidity of my younger self, but I have learned and changed for the better.)

Just a word to the wise, avoid complimenting a woman on her impending motherhood unless you are absolutely sue she is pregnant (and not a larger woman). Avoid saying anything. The embarrassment on both you and the receiver is not worth it, and can be avoided.

Philippians 2:13 (TPT) gives this advice on being an incredible encourager: God will continually revitalize you, implanting within you the passion to do what pleases him.” I am blessed to have many people that fulfill the role of “encourager” for me (when I need it most). What changes in your life do you need to make right now (so when you are gone), and all that remains is the memory of you. People will connect your name to the word “encourager” automatically?

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