Monday, August 31, 2020

Change and Seek

“The word ‘repent’ means to change one’s mind... [and]results in a change of action…The word ‘forgive’ means...we seek...forgiveness in order for [a] relationship to be restored. It... is not granted because a person deserves [it, but as] an act of love, mercy, and grace...”  (Got Questions and AllAboutGod)

But if we confess our sins, God will forgive us. We can trust God to do this. He always does what is right. He will make us clean from all the wrong things we have done.

 Did you know the verbs “repent” and “forgive” do not mean the same thing? I John 1:9 (ERV) is a biblical example how these two words work perfectly together. The first two sentences of this verse deal with the aspect of repentance (in my opinion). The last two cover forgiveness. Can you see how these two thoughts are interconnected, can’t be separated from each other?

For those of you who have doubted your salvation multiple times in the past, and find yourself saying “the sinner’s prayer” everytime you do something wrong. Here’s a radical freedom statement for you. Jesus gave you spiritual freedom with His one-time sacrifice on the cross. The first time you asked for salvation (with a true repentant heart) took. Doing this action multiple times will not make you more saved than it did the first time you asked for this. What it will do is make you exhausted, frustrated, and stuck in your Christian growth.

Though Jesus’ forgiveness covers all your sins (past, present, and future), there is no need to ask for forgiveness for the regular sins. You do need to repent of them though by changing your ways to the right biblical path. God has provided many ways to do this by Bible study, prayer, friends, family, and professional counselors (psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, or life coaches). Victory is within your grasp, take it now. This wonderful topic was suggested by friend, small group facilitator, and blog member, Tom Critser.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.What Is Forgiveness?

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

What Is Forgiveness?


Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

 

Sunday, August 30, 2020

God’s Family

 If your brother or sister in God’s family does something wrong, go and tell them what they did wrong. Do this when you are alone with them. If they listen to you, then you have helped them to be your brother or sister again. 16 But if they refuse to listen, go to them again and take one or two people with you. Then there will be two or three people who will be able to tell all that happened. 17 If they refuse to listen to them, tell the church. And if they refuse to listen to the church, treat them as you would treat someone who does not know God or who is [immoral or a wrongdoer]. (Matthew 18:15-17, ERV)

Biblical steps to healthy conflict resolution:

1.   Overlook the offense (if possible)- A person with discretion is not easily angered. He gains respect by overlooking an offense. (Proverbs 19:11, VOICE) If that cannot happen then…

2.   One-on-one reconciliation- This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to [give your] offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God. (Matthew 5:23-24, MSG) See Matthew 18:15 above.  This step should include prayer for healing; planning what must be said, picking a time and place to meet, and creative problem solving. This step is best done in person, and not via the Internet (or digital communication). If this does not work then…

3.   Objective mediation- Paul: Euodia and Syntyche, I urge you to put aside your differences, agree, and work together in the Lord. Yes, Syzygus, loyal friend, I enlist you to please help these women. They, along with brother Clement and many others have worked by my side to spread the good news of the gospel. They have their names recorded in the book of life. (Philippians 4:2-3, VOICE) See Matthew 18:16 above. If this doesn’t work then…

4.   Obeyed arbitration- Here’s another troubling issue. If you have a grievance against another follower of Jesus, do you have the audacity to bring that brother or sister into the civil courts rather than submitting yourselves to the authority of God’s people? (1 Corinthians 6:1, VOICE) See Matthew 18:17 above. If all of the above steps have been followed, it is alright to drop the relationship. Separation does negate forgiveness (and letting go of the bitterness).

It is always easier to walk away from a problem (and sever connections with a person) than to seek to heal a dilemma. Christians are called to be peacemakers. Do the best you can to live in peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18, ERV)

 If you wish others to overlook your faults (and show you grace), you must do the same for them.  Think of the kindness you wish others would show you; do the same for them. (Luke 6:31, VOICE)[i]



[i] Inspired by the sermon “Staying Connected to Through Conflict: Staying Together” (installment four, final) Sunday August 23, 2020, Pastor Dave Jansen, CenterPoint Gahanna.  All CenterPoint churches are closed due to the Coronavirus, and are meeting online at 10am at the CenterPoint Church Main Page on Facebook.)

This sermon helped me finally resolve long-held angry feelings towards a friend of mine.

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Our Burdens

When we walk with the Lord
in the light of his word,
what a glory he sheds on our way!
While we do his good will,
he abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.


[Chorus]
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.


Not a burden we bear,
not a sorrow we share,
but our toil he doth richly repay;
not a grief or a loss,
not a frown or a cross,
but is blest if we trust and obey.


 [Chorus]
But we never can prove
the delights of his love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor he shows,
for the joy he bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey.


 [Chorus]

But we never can prove
the delights of his love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor he shows,
for the joy he bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey.


 [Chorus]
Many times I desperately wish the hymn, “Trust and Obey” by John H. Sammis, could be a consistent bold anthem of freedom in my life instead of that irritating mosquito buzz that won’t leave you be. Usually when God wants me to do something, He makes it loud and clear. If it doesn’t make sense to me, I try to logic myself right out of the request.  Of course, God doesn’t give up that easily. The request becomes more insistent and intense (just like the pain in my write arm from my neck impingement).

There have been so many times in my life when blindly obeying God (regardless of the circumstances or my emotions at the time) turned out the right thing to do. My heavenly Father took the desperate situation, and in the end worked it out for His glory. Why do I always try to be in control of so many things I have no control over?

Over my lifetime, I have gotten better at complete submission to God in the beginning so He can be in charge of something I just can’t deal with anymore. It’s exhausting to do it all yourself, and not allowing divine rest to happen.  1 Corinthians 10:13 (TPT) needs to be my motto in life. “We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being. But God will be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature, and timing of every test or trial you face so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust him more, for along with every trial God has provided for you a way of escape that will bring you out of it victoriously.”
 
 When life gets to a place of unbearable difficulty, He must be in charge. The unchanging question for you has always been this: "Are you holding back from God, or are all the doors of your heart open, and ready for Him to inspect the rooms for spiritual 'cleanliness'?” 
 
 

 

 


 

 







 




Friday, August 28, 2020

Integrity

His wife said, “Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!” He told her, “You’re talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?” Not once through all this did Job sin. He said nothing against God. (Job 2:9-10, MSG)

 Satan answered the Lord, “But Job has a good reason to respect you.  You always protect him, his family, and everything he has. You have blessed him and made him successful in everything he does. He is so wealthy that his herds and flocks are all over the country. 11 But if you were to destroy everything he has, I promise you that he would curse you to your face.” (Job 1:9-11, ERV)

One day Job’s sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house. That messenger was still speaking when another one came in and said, “Your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house.   Satan answered, “Skin for skin.  A man will give everything he has to protect himself.   The Lord blessed Job with even more than he had in the beginning. Job got 14,000 sheep, 6000 camels, 2000 oxen, and 1000 female donkeys. He also got seven sons and three daughters. He named the first daughter Jemimah and the second daughter Keziah. He named the third daughter Keren Happuch. Job’s daughters were among the most beautiful women in all the country. And, like their brothers, they each got a share of their father’s property. (Job 1: 13, 18, 2:4, 42:12-15, ERV)
Have you ever been the doer (or receiver) of hateful of argumentative angry words on Facebook?  Even if you erase the horrid dialogue, it’s out there somewhere in cyberspace for someone to read. Was Mrs. Job having a really bad day when the above words were recorded for generations to read in the Bible? Is there more below the surface to the above scriptures than we are reading and understanding about the above verses?


We can almost certain that Mrs. Job might have been a senior citizen with her adult children. (There is no mention of grandchildren.) Many readers fail to recognize that everything that happened to Job was also happening to His wife. I sincerely believe Job was handling his challenges as they occurred. Mrs. Job was taking it all at a much deeper level, and blaming God for everything that was happening. That sounds just like people in our world today.

Wouldn’t any woman have nervous breakdown that had to deal with a serious ill spouse, the death of all her children, and the loss o servants and cattle (which I believe in that time would have symbolized wealth and security). Professional therapy (or counseling) hadn’t been invented yet.

In the above verses, it appears to me that Job and his wife had been married a long time. He knew her anger outburst was a temporary emotion. I believe Mrs. Job was hurt by what God had allowed to happen to the man she loved (as well as the death of all her children). She was God’s precious daughter, and He knew she just wanted to hurt Him with the pain she was feeling. Mrs. Job didn’t know that God was using her husband as an example of a good and faithful servant to Satan.  By the conclusion of the book of Job, it seems like everything had come to a satisfying conclusion. Think again. The new children Mrs. Job got could never completely replace the ones she lost (as any mother would tell you who has been through a similar situation).

 

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Accused

I stand accused
There's a list a mile long
Of all my sins
Of everything that I've done wrong
I'm so ashamed
There's nowhere left for me to hide
This is the day
I must answer for my life

My fate is in the Judge's hands
But then He turns to me and says

I know you
I love you
I gave My life to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

How can it be?
I can't begin to comprehend
What kind of grace
Would take the place of all my sin?

I stand in awe
Now that I have been set free
And the tears well up as I look at that cross
'Cause it should have been me

My fate was in the nail scarred hands
He stretched them out for me and said

[Chorus]

I'm falling on my knees to thank You
With everything I am I'll praise You
So grateful for the words I heard You say

[Chorus]

 

Anytime I hear Mandisa’s soothing voice sing her song, “Not Guilty” I eventually feel a complete sense of relief and gratitude to my heavenly Father. The beginning of the song makes me want to cry though. Romans 3:22-24 (TLB) says: But now God has shown us a different way to heaven—not by “being good enough” and trying to keep his laws, but by a new way (though not new, really, for the Scriptures told about it long ago). Now God says he will accept and acquit us—declare us “not guilty”—if we trust Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, by coming to Christ, no matter who we are or what we have been like.  Yes, all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious ideal; yet now God declares us “not guilty” of offending him if we trust in Jesus Christ, who in his kindness freely takes away our sins.”

I don’t know about you, but there have been plenty of times in my life when I knew the right thing to do, and purposely chose not to do it. God should have chosen to rein down His anger on me, but instead His overwhelming grace. I greatly appreciate that. Now what about you? Has God been better to you throughout your life than you deserved. How many times has He kept you from painful, dangerous things that could have happened to you in the right sequence?

His God Winks (or His unexpected planned blessings) are all around you. They can be great or small in size if you will only look and recognize them. Your heavenly Father always knows what’s best for you because He sees the complete story of your life. Right now, you may be seeing the underside of your life’s tapestry (ugly). God sees the beauty of the front, and He knows how it needs to go so you become the master piece He always knew you were. 


 

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Unseen and Unheard

But as the Scriptures say, No eye has ever seen and no ear has ever heard and it has never occurred to the human heart.  All the things God prepared for those who love Him. (1 Corinthians 2:9, VOICE)[i]

I believe it’s difficult for mortal human beings to think about the immortality of Heaven. One day when I arrive in Heaven (in my immortal body) I am sure my heavenly Father’s presence will be the focus of my mind. All the questions I wanted to ask him won’t really matter now.

As a mortal human, I am looking forward to the reunions in that celestial place with my father (who died in a car accident when I was only 14), my younger brother (Jim) who died of a seizure when he was 25), and our eight miscarriage children most of all under more positive circumstances this time (Taylor Lee, Brook Lynn, Lou Diamond, Erin McKenzie, Carroll Reese, Laurel Hope, Bailey Glenn, and Dorian Haley Kinker).

I want to finally father them with a big hug and kiss as I could not the first time I joyously became aware of them. I want to finally reassure them that their mother and I wanted to parent them if we had been given the chance (as we did their sister Allena Desire’e Kinker). If I should go first before Bobbi does, in this place that does not know the concept of time that their mother will be there soon (and she has always loved the). Neither one of us ever forgot them on Earth.

I believe the song, "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe, is the best description a mortal human can have of that place. Allow your mind to wonder to thoughts of the afterlife as you get a visual image of Heaven.

 I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine, yeah

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of You be still?

Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the sun/son
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever—forever worship You

I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of You be still?

Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of You be still?

Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever—forever worship You
I can only imagine

When I think of what I will be doing in Heaven, Ray Boltz’s song, "Thank You,” Comes to mind. When I visualize this song I think of my now-living mother. She has lived what’s described in the lyrics. I am with the mother (in her mid-thirties) that I knew as a teenager.

I never get a good look at what age I am in the song I am too occupied with what my mother is experiencing. In this place, I know it will dawn on us finally how important those unnoticed acts of generosity actually were. For anyone, who saw my mother as a friend, you will realize this song is a lyrical song of thanksgiving to her. (Do you know of someone this song could fit?)

I dreamed I went to Heaven
And you were there with me
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea
We heard the angels singing
Then someone called your name
You turned and saw this young man
And he was smiling as he came
And he said friend you may not know me now
And then he said but wait
You used to teach my Sunday School
When I was only eight
And every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start
And one day when you said that prayer
I asked Jesus in my heart

Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave

Then another man stood before you
And said remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry
You didn't have much money
But you gave it anyway
Jesus took the gift you gave
And that's why I'm here today

Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave

One by one they came
Far as the eyes could see
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity
Little things that you had done
Sacrifices made
Unnoticed on the earth
In heaven now proclaimed

And I know that up in heaven
You're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord
He said, my child look around you
For great is your reward

Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave
I am so glad you gave

 


[i]   This is the verse referred to in this scripture:  From long ago no one has ever heard of a God like you. No one has ever seen a God besides you. You help the people who trust you. (Isaiah 64:4)

 

A complete Kinker family portrait cartooned by me. (The dog, Allena, Bobbi, and me existed. The rest of my children were adapted from various family and friend pictures when they were younger.)

 

 

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Random

“I’m unpredictable; I never know where I’m going until I get there. I’m so random, I’m always growing, learning, changing, I’m never the same person twice. But one thing you can be sure of about me; is I will always do exactly what I want to do.” (C. JoyBell C.)

Though I am a loyal, dependable person (to those who know me and with my blog), I thoroughly enjoy having a personality that is unpredictable. (Neither I or those that know me) have any idea how I’m going to react to any situation at any given moment. I believe I’m a lot like your favorite T.V. sitcom; you tune to see what’s going to happen.

Being a bi-polar man has a great deal to do with my enchanting personality. I deal quickly and efficiently with my changing life. I have to or I would push myself over the deep end emotionally. I am constantly commenting my inner self with dialogue like: “Why are you doing that,” “You can’t say something like that,” and “That’s so blunt. You’re going to lose friends if you say that.”

My patient, “voice of reason” wife, Bobbi, is getting to empty nest with the many facets of me (among them is the crazy, assertive, sweet, and the real me). I wish I could tell you as a bi-polar man, that I had always been the wonderful father to my daughter, Allena, through the years. My good and bad emotions towards her seem to be intensified at times. My medication (Lithium and Trileptal) does a great job of keeping me as normal as possible. (It clarifies my emotions like glasses do my vision.)

I believe our three Chihuahuas even sense there is something different about me. Rosco, Chico, and Lola are also nicknamed “Small, Medium, and Large” because of their heights. The 13 year old brothers, Rosco and Chico, look like traditional male Chihuahua brothers with big ears, eyes, personalities, any tiny bodies.   (Rosco connected with Allena, who is in college now.

Chico adores his owner, Bobbi. My dog, Lola, is the wild card. She is a female with an assertive personality. She is not a pure breed Chihuahua like her siblings. We think her other half is Shiba Inu (or Min Pin). Whatever she is when things get boring, she likes stir things up with a bit of excessant barking. It sounds like a canine version of me. Doesn’t it? My clue that it’s time for angry Robert needs to go is when Lola runs to hide somewhere in our tri-level split home.

The purpose of this post is not to make you feel sorry for me (and my family) for living with me. Rejoice in who you are. Get help if you need it (medicine or counseling). Your heavenly Father only made one you with your unique personality for a reason. You are His unique child, and He cherishes you.

 Don’t change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but let God change you inside with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to understand and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect. (Romans 12:2, ERV)
Chico, Lola, and Rosco (left to right)
 

 

 

 

 

Monday, August 24, 2020

Time to Eat

38–39 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their journey, they came to a village where a woman welcomed Jesus into her home. Her name was Martha and she had a sister named Mary. Mary sat down attentively before the Master, absorbing every revelation he shared. 40 But Martha became exasperated by finishing the numerous household chores in preparation for her guests, so she interrupted Jesus and said, “Lord, don’t you think it’s unfair that my sister left me to do all the work by myself? You should tell her to get up and help me.” 41 The Lord answered her, “Martha, my beloved Martha. Why are you upset and troubled, pulled away by all these many distractions? Are they really that important? 42 Mary has discovered the one thing most important by choosing to sit at my feet. She is undistracted, and I won’t take this privilege from her.” (Luke 10:38-42, TPT)

 Six days before the Passover began; Jesus went back to Bethany, the town where he raised Lazarus from the dead. They had prepared a supper for Jesus Martha served, and Lazarus and Mary were among those at the table. Mary picked up an alabaster jar filled with nearly a liter of extremely rare and costly perfume—the purest extract of [spikenard] and she anointed Jesus’ feet. Then she wiped them dry with her long hair. And the fragrance of the costly oil filled the house But Judas the locksmith, Simon’s son, the betrayer, spoke up and said, “What a waste! We could have sold this perfume for a fortune and given the money to the poor!” (In fact, Judas had no heart for the poor. He only said this because he was a thief and in charge of the money case. He would steal money whenever he wanted from the funds given to support Jesus’ ministry.) Jesus said to Judas, “Leave her alone! She has saved it for the time of my burial. You’ll always have the poor with you; but you won’t always have me.” (John 12:1-8, TPT)

Both of the above meals happened in a city named “Bethany.” They have one big thing in common. Jesus loved to eat and fellowship with His friends. Notice in the first story the brother, Lazarus, is absent (or not mentioned) for some reason. Both stories also make no mention of a serving staff that could have assisted Martha in story number one.  There is no mention if this was a planned or a “surprise” meal. (Most women prefer planned ones.)

For the past 26 years, I have been married to Martha-type wife named Bobbi. Both of these women (Martha of Bethany and Bobbi of Gahanna) have many qualities in common. I suspect many good Christian women want to be Mary's, but would admit they are Martha's. (Rejoice in this because we desperately need your personalities in our lives to keep us going in the right direction.) Some of the qualities below belong to Martha, Bobbi, or both women. I am just the messenger:

·        Their personalities are emotionally intense. They will change the world (whether world wants it or not).

·        They are perfectionist. They get upset (and don’t understand) why others can’t meet their sometimes unrealistic, high standards. Laughter may be a scarcity.

·        They will make sure the job gets done to the best of their over-achieving ability. They try to be overachievers to validate their value to themself (and others).

·        They serve God through serving others. They give all of themselves to their service that is why when someone betrays their trust; it completely devastates them emotionally. It is their gift to God. Their strong maternal instinct finds its divine purpose in encouraging, comforting, and providing for other's needs.

·        With their obsessive compulsive personality, they don’t care for (or find amusing) surprises from family (or friends). Their world needs to stay methodical and free of excess chaos.

In the first story, I do not believe Jesus was correcting Martha. As a good friend, I believe He was making a wise observation. Both Martha and Mary took Jesus advice to heart because in the second story Mary has taken her worship of Jesus to a higher level. Story number two does not tell us what Jesus forgave Mary of, and why she was crying.

Also in story number two, Martha doesn’t seem to be upset over meal preparations, or in the midst of an emotional meltdown. Did she learn what Jesus wanted her to know from the first story? Yes, I believe so. Have we learned what God wants us to know, or are we in the midst of our divine education right now? That's up for debate.

Of course, this post is dedicated to the fascinating woman that I have the privilege of being a husband to. My gorgeous "Martha," Bobbi Lynn (McFarlen) Kinker. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to serve you for the rest of my life.




The Bobbi I first fell in love with.

 

Sunday, August 23, 2020

Handicapped No More

Several days later, Jesus returned to Capernaum, and the news quickly spread that he was back in town. Soon there were so many people crowded inside the house to hear him that there was no more room, even outside the door.

While Jesus was preaching the word of God, four men arrived, carrying a paralyzed man. But when they realized that they couldn’t even get near him because of the crowd, they went up on top of the house and tore away the roof above Jesus’ head. And when they had broken through, they lowered the paralyzed man on a stretcher right down in front of him.  When Jesus saw the extent of their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “My son, your sins are now forgiven.”

This offended some of the religious scholars who were present, and they reasoned among themselves, “Who does he think he is to speak this way? This is blasphemy for sure. Only God himself can forgive sins.”

Jesus supernaturally perceived their thoughts and said to them, “Why are you being so skeptical? Which is easier, to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are now forgiven,’ or, ‘Stand up and walk.’? 10 But to convince you that the Son of Man has been given authority to forgive sins, 11 I say to this man, ‘Stand up, pick up your stretcher, and walk home.’” 12 Immediately the man sprang to his feet in front of everyone and left for home.

When the crowds witnessed this miracle, they were awestruck. They shouted praises to God and said, “We’ve never seen anything like this before.” (Mark 2:1-12, TPT)

Our communities need to be saturated with the spreading (and demonstration) of Jesus love.

To be connected to community we need…

·        Faithful hearing (See Mark 2:1-3 above)

·        Faithful determination (See Mark 2:4-5 above)

·        Faithful attitudes (See Mark 2:6-9 above)

·        Faithful advise (See Mark 2: 10-12 above)

We all need to stand against injustice around us (by being both the problem and the solution).

It’s important to look past the brokenness of a community (to its actual needs).

Our goal with community is to: "Think about what we have in Christ: the encouragement he has brought us, the comfort of his love, our sharing in his Spirit, and the mercy and kindness he has shown us. If you enjoy these blessings, then do what will make my joy complete: Agree with each other, and show your love for each other. Be united in your goals and in the way you think. In whatever you do, don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves. Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too. In your life together, think the way Christ Jesus thought.” (Philippians 2:1-5, ERV)[i]

 


[i] Inspired by the sermon “Staying Connected to Your Community: Staying Together” (installment three) Sunday August 16, 2020, Pastor Josh Boyer, CenterPoint Lewis Center.  All CenterPoint churches are closed due to the Coronavirus, and are meeting online at 10am at the CenterPoint Church Main Page on Facebook.)
 
Thanks to my wife for taking the fantastic sermon notes today. It gave my painful right arm a break.

Saturday, August 22, 2020

Sleep

“Dreams are not what you see in your sleep. Dreams are things which do not let you sleep.” (Cristiano Ronaldo)

Dreams can be fascinating, exciting, terrifying, or bizarre. Adults and babies dream for around two hours per night. People usually have several dreams each night. Each dream typically lasts for between five to 20 minutes.  During a typical lifetime, people spend an average of six years dreaming.
As much as 95% of all dreams are quickly forgotten shortly after waking. According to one theory about why dreams so difficult to remember, the changes in the brain that occur during sleep do not support the information processing and storage needed for memory formation to take place.   Brain scans of sleeping individuals have shown that the frontal lobes—the area that plays a key role in memory formation—are inactive during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the stage in which dreaming occurs.
Researchers have found some differences between men and women when it comes to the content of their dreams. Men reported dreaming about weapons significantly more often than women did, while women dreamed about references to clothing more often than men.

Men's dreams tend to have more aggressive content and physical activity, while women's dreams contain more rejection and exclusion, as well as more conversation than physical activity.  Women tend to have slightly longer dreams that feature more characters. When it comes to the characters that typically appear in dreams, men dream about other men twice as often as they do about women, while women tend to dream about both sexes equally.
A lucid dream is one in which you are aware that you are dreaming even though you're still asleep. Lucid dreaming is thought to be a combination state of both consciousness and REM sleep, during which you can often direct or control the dream content. Approximately half of all people can remember experiencing at least one instance of lucid dreaming, and some individuals are able to have lucid dreams quite frequently.

REM sleep is characterized by paralysis of the voluntary muscles. The phenomenon is known as REM atonia and prevents you from acting out your dreams while you're asleep. Basically, because motor neurons are not stimulated, your body does not move. In some cases, this paralysis can even carry over into the waking state for as long as 10 minutes, a condition known as sleep paralysis. While the experience can be frightening, experts advise that it is perfectly normal and should last only a few minutes before normal muscle control returns.
Consider the personal meaning of your dreams. The things you experience in your dreams are a reflection of the concerns you face in your daily existence. Can you learn your unconscious wishes and desires by interpreting your dreams? Take a closer look at some of the most common dreams and what they mean:

Being Chased- Dreams that feature being pursued by a known or unknown attacker can be particularly terrifying. What do these dreams say about what's going on inside your mind? Such dreams suggest that you are trying to avoid something in your daily life. This dream might indicate a desire to escape from your own fears or desires.


The key to understanding what such a dream might mean depends partly on the identity of your pursuer. Being chased by an animal might indicate that you are hiding from your own anger, passions, and other feelings. If your pursuer is a mysterious, unknown figure, it might represent a childhood experience or past trauma.


If you are being chased by someone of the opposite sex, it means you are afraid of love or haunted by a past relationship. Usually it’s not anything in particular but just the feeling like you’re being chased, and so you run and run. In the dream of course, running and ‘pushing’ your leg muscles to run faster does nothing but slow you down.


Drowning-If you dream about drowning, it means that you’re worried about losing control. Many dreams are about freedom, control, or fears. These are the forces which guide our dreams, those and also love. Dreaming about drowning means you’re feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Consider which areas of your life need fixing, and then do it.

Dying- Dreamers sometimes dream of the death of a loved one or even dream of dying themselves. Popular dream interpretations sometimes suggest that such dreams reflect anxiety about change (or a fear of the unknown). Like death, change can be scary because we do not know what is on the other side of the change, which is why the dreaming mind equates change with death.


Dreaming about the death of a loved one can reflect a similar fear of change especially with regards to children reaching milestones and growing up. Such changes indicate that a child is growing up and a parent's mind begins to wonder where the younger version of the child went. Such dreams of dying reflect a sort of mourning for the inevitable passage of time. Death dreams are fairly personal like most dreams, and so you can’t really put a label on what a death dream means.


On a simpler level though, a dream about death can actually just mean you’re accepting that you’re changing into someone else. When we change, it’s said that we die a ‘small death’, meaning a part of who we were dies and makes way for the person we’re becoming. You’re changing and your brain and body are trying to make sense of it, and sometimes that just appears in the form of dreaming about dying.


Exams- Taking an exam in your dreams might reveal an underlying fear of failure. Exams are stressful experiences in which you are made to face up to your shortcomings. To dream of failing an exam, being late for one, or being unprepared shows that you feel unprepared for the challenges of waking life.


 This type of dream can just mean that you’re being put to the test in waking life, or you feel like you’re being judged by the people around you. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and sometimes it’s just your brain saying you’re being examined by people.


Falling- Dreams It is a myth that if you hit the ground in your dream you will die in real life. Falling dreams are a sign that something in your life isn't going well. It might suggest that you need to consider a new direction in some area of your life. Falling is a symbol of fear in real life, or perhaps of failing at work or in your love life. Falling often expresses a need to let go more and enjoy life more. Falling dreams are super common among people of all ages. It can mean that you’re feeling hopeless and even depressed.


Flying- Dreams about flying can be exciting, and even liberating but they can sometimes be quite frightening (especially for those afraid of heights). Dreams about flying often represent t feelings of independence, or escaping from the realities of life. Flying most frequently involves positive feelings of pleasure. Flying may depict our sexuality as to aspects of it expressing freedom from social norms.


Losing Teeth- Losing teeth might mean that you are worried about your attractiveness or appearance, concerned about your ability to communicate, or said something embarrassing. The real essence of teeth is their ability to bite through, to cut, tear, and grind. If your teeth fall out, you lose personal power and your ability to be assertive, decisive, and self-protective. 


When we’re young and we lose our teeth for the first time (our milk teeth to make way for the real ones), we’re scared it’s usually the first traumatic thing we experience as children. It’s no surprise that the brain links this first experience of fear and trauma with other things in life that make you feel scared or uneasy. That’s why if you dream about your teeth falling out as an adult, it just means you’re worried about the changes going on in your life at that moment.


Public Nudity- Have you ever have one of those awkward dreams where you show up at school or the office in your birthday suit? Don't worry. Dreaming about being naked is hardly unusual.  Dreaming of public nudity might indicate that you feel like a phony or that you are afraid of revealing your shortcomings. We all fear being embarrassed in front of the larger society.


From a young age we’re told that we should always cover up so as to not expose ourselves to people. This means that to dream about being naked means you’re worried about how people will think of you. You’re worried in some way about the way you appear to a friend or family member. Pay attention to how often you have this dream, and think about ways you can reduce the amount you worry.


Spiders-Spiders are probably one of the most commonly feared insects along with snakes and wasps. To dream about something you fear is normal, and actually it’s a good way of getting over your fears. Through lucid dreaming you can actually remove your fears and the way you do this is by just dreaming about the thing you’re scared of more and more.

After a while you start to get used to, and become less scared of it. If you’re scared of spiders and you keep dreaming about them, work with that and just keep dreaming about them. Try and turn it into a lucid dream actually, and you’ll eventually overcome your fear altogether.

Trapped- To dream about being trapped tends to mean you’re just worried about your current situation. This can mean your job, relationship or even which country you’re in. Your mind tends to show you things in a subtle way so if you’re worried about your job holding you back from traveling. Your brain might create a dream in which you’re trapped. A dream about being trapped in a small space usually means you’re just not happy with where you are, and you want to change your current situation.

“Legend says that when you can't sleep at night it's because you're awake in someone else's dream” (Anonymous)[i]




[i] Sources used:

·        “10 Interesting Facts about Dreams” By Kendra Cherry

·        “101 Most Common Dream Meanings: How To Interpret Your Dreams Instantly”  by HowtoLucid.com
·        “15 Interesting Facts about Dreams” by Lina D

·         “9 Common Dreams and What They Supposedly Mean” By Kendra Cherry
 
This topic was suggested by friend and blog member, Jan Bahr.
 

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