Saturday, February 29, 2020

The Race

“In the race to a child's heart, the first one there wins.” (George Barna)

Do you remember the first time a Bible story ever came to life for you? To this day, I bet you still remember the effect it had on you. It’s probably become one of your favorite religious stories. From a young age, I gained an appreciation of stories. I'll never forget what it felt like on the day that my Sunday school teacher explained the love that God has for me. Sunday school volunteers make an enormous impression on the children they teach.

I remember seeing the picture of Jesus on a cross, and asking my teacher who that was and why He was like that. He began to explain to me the great love God has for the world, how He sent His Son for us, and how that man died for me. His love came to life for me that day. It was the day I knew that when they said "the world, “they meant me too. I wanted to experience that kind of love in my life.

There’s a lot to a children's ministry. If you focus on the elements below, you can build a stellar children's ministry that will help you strengthen and grow your church:

A seamless transition between age groups-Every transition, whether from room-to-room or from preschool to elementary, should flow in a way that continues to help children grow spiritually and be excited about the next step in their journey. This is the idea that everything they learned there was needed for them to get there. All ministries should point toward the same mission.

A take-home element-Every week, children should be leaving church with a visual reminder of what they learned. This can be an art project, children's ministry resource, or even a song that supports the lesson for the week. This offers parents some peace of mind that their children (and subsequently, the family) are leaving learning about Christ in a new way.

An engaging space-I love themed spaces, but the theme needs to point back somehow to the mission of the church: sharing the gospel, growing spiritually, and making disciples. If the theme of a pirate ship, tree house, or volcano helps get you there, it might be fun to incorporate those fun elements. In fact, this is a wonderful opportunity to reach your younger congregation while supporting their spiritual growth. But don't sacrifice an epic children's ministry space for the importance of sharing the love of Jesus each week. You have a simple yet safe inviting environment for your child that shares the love of Jesus.

Communication-Consistent communication from the children’s pastor about what the children are doing, what they’re learning, and the purpose of it all is essential. Children often don’t communicate what they learned or the point of what they did, so it’s helpful for the pastor to be in communication through emails, newsletters, or other take-home content that keeps the parents involved.

Familiar faces-For the sake of burnout, the same people can’t be running the same spaces every week. It helps to have a familiar rotation of volunteers to help the children feel comfortable. These volunteers should know many of the children names and greet them at the door when they arrive. The check-in person (if you don’t have a self check-in) needs to have a great memory recall. There is nothing more frustrating for a parent than having a check-in person greet you as though you are new to the church every week.

Security-As a parent, there is nothing more comforting than knowing you will be dropping off your child in a safe environment. If your ministry currently doesn’t account for security measures, start by creating a check-in system and assign at least one volunteer to manage the process. Having a solid security plan is important, but make sure it isn’t at the expense of efficiency in the drop off/pick up process. There should be a thorough check-in and check-out system, like a bracelet or sticker that allows you to pick up your child in a systematic way.

Service to others-There should be some sort of element that begins to lay the framework for looking outside of who they are to help others. Children are inherently self-centered, and because of that it can be difficult for them to understand what real-life applications of Christianity, love, and service are all about. This can be as simple as taking up a collection for the homeless ministry or talking about a holiday toy drive. This will help ground your children in reality and also protect them from the materialistic focus that society teaches.

Worship for all kids (regardless of age)-This can look many different ways, from full worship services for the older ones, or just a father and his guitar for the preschoolers. From personal experience, there are few things cooler than hearing your kid randomly break out singing about Jesus throughout the week.

“Children are like wet cement.  But remember, we only have a short window of time until the wet cement turns to concrete.  We must impress God's Word, wisdom and ways into their lives while we have the opportunity.” (Dale Hudson)[i]



[i] Sources used:
·        “10 Things Parents Want to See in Your Children's Ministry” By Vanderbloemen
·        5 Key Elements for a Vibrant Children's Ministry” by Dan Reiland  

·        “5 Things Every Kids’ Ministry Volunteer Needs to Know” By Greg Baird

·        “Top 5 Reasons You Should Serve in Children's Ministry” by Cheryl Ross

·        “What Parents Want To See From Your Children’s Ministry” By Outreach
 

Friday, February 28, 2020

Prisoner

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” (Lewis B. Smedes)

Someone hurts you in a way that feels permanent and you say, "I will never forgive you." Someone wounds you emotionally (or physically) and you think, "That's unforgivable." You're constantly being told that forgiveness is vital for your mental health.  Forgiveness is the letting go of a grievance that you hold against someone else. When you forgive you also let go of feelings of bitterness, resentment, and vengeance.

Many people have difficulty with the word "forgiveness." You imagine forgiveness involves saying, "I forgive you" and includes a hug, pat on the back, or a blessing. That may be true sometimes, but not all the time. Forgiveness doesn't have to involve the other person and it is not for their benefit. If the word "forgiveness" bothers you, you don't have to use it (or you could make up a new one). Processing emotional trauma and releasing old wounds is about more than a single word.

Anger, bitterness, hate—these emotions weigh heavily on your body and in your thoughts. When you don't process and release your emotions, they remain trapped inside you and can cause physical ailments like stomachaches and high blood pressure and can worsen depression and anxiety. When you forgive and let go of a grievance, you are freeing your body and your mind. Forgiveness isn't the only way to let go of negative emotions, but it's one of the best.

I believe that forgiveness can be helpful to many and its ability to heal your wounds may surprise you if you try it. But forcing yourself to forgive before you're ready could actually deepen your feelings of trauma and anger. Don't let anyone try to convince you to forgive when you're not ready or don't want to. You are not broken just because you aren't ok with forgiving someone else's misdeeds.

One simple exercise I do is a letter-writing exercise. Find a quiet space, some uninterrupted time, and a pen (or pencil) and paper. Write a letter to the person who hurt you. Write out your feelings, your thoughts, your experiences, and your anger. Remember, this letter is for you. No one else ever has to read it. Now, try writing a second letter with your other hand. Writing with your non-dominate hand (meaning your left hand if you're usually right-handed) can help override the analytical, judgmental part of your brain.
You may find your writing is freer and more emotionally honest this way. You want to get all the emotions you've bottled up moving and flowing through your pen. Imagine all of your anger and bitterness and resentment and sadness moving from deep inside your body to the page. Even if you don't think you can ever forgive or you don't want to, a writing exercise like this can help you regain some control over disruptive, negative thoughts.

When someone hurts you, it's normal to hold onto feelings of anger and resentment and to want revenge. But, when we cling to our anger because it feels justified, we can't heal. Whether or not you feel that forgiveness can be part of your healing process, the healing process itself is vital. While you heal, keep the focus on yourself. Focus on what you can do to make your life better and more whole.

After you are wronged and the initial wave of emotion has passed, you're presented with a new challenge: Do you forgive the person? By forgiving, you let go of your grievances and judgments and allow yourself to heal. While this may sound good in theory, in practice forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible.

By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn't necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn't something you do for the person who wronged you; it's something you do for you. If you decide you are willing to forgive, find a good place and time to be alone with your thoughts. Then, try following these four steps to forgive even when it feels impossible:

·        Think about the incident that angered you. Accept that it happened. Accept how you felt about it and how it made you react. In order to forgive, you need to acknowledge the reality of what occurred and how you were affected.

·        Acknowledge the growth you experienced as a result of what happened. What did it make you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries? Not only did you survive the incident, perhaps you grew from it.

·        Now think about the other person. He or she is flawed because all human beings are flawed. He or she acted from limited beliefs and a skewed frame of reference because sometimes we all act from our limited beliefs and skewed frames of reference. When you were hurt, the other person was trying to have a need met. What do you think this need was and why did the person go about it in such a hurtful way?

·        Finally, decide whether or not you want to tell the other person that you have forgiven him or her. If you decide not to express forgiveness directly, then do it on your own. Say the words, "I forgive you," aloud and then add as much explanation as you feel is merited.

 “This is where I find myself now on the journey that God and I have been on, at the station called hope, the one that comes right after gratitude and somewhere not far from journey's end. It has been God and I the whole way. Not so much because he has always been pleasant company. Not because I could always feel his presence when I got up in the morning or when I was afraid to sleep at night. It was because he did not trust me to travel alone. Personally I liked the last miles of the journey better than the first. But, since I could not have the ending without first having the beginning, I thank God for getting me going and bringing me home, and sticking with me all the way.” (Lewis B. Smedes)[i]



[i] Sources used:
·        “How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible? (Part 2)” by Andrea Brandt
·        “How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible? (Part 1)” by Andrea Brandt
 

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Incomplete

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”  (Jack Kornfield)

The term Compassion Fatigue has been used to describe the negative effects experienced by caregivers, service providers, and other employees in certain high-stress fields resulting directly from repeated exposure to traumatized victims. If you see a friend that is struggling or in pain, your first instinct is likely to help them in any way you can. Other symptoms include headaches, digestive problems, feeling overwhelmed, and irritability.

 

On average, it takes about 7 attempts before a person fully leaves an abusive relationship, and it is never as easy as “just leaving.” However, unhealthy relationships often affect more than just the people involved. So, what happens when you start to feel emotionally exhausted?

 

In most cases, a simple way to alleviate Compassion Fatigue is by taking a step back and making sure you’re taking care of yourself first. Not knowing how to help to take away a friend’s pain can feel overwhelming. If you continue to feel anxious, exhausted, and unusually detached from the people around you, then you may be experiencing Compassion Fatigue. Here are signs to help you realize you are experiencing Compassion Fatigue:

 

APATHY- It can be hard to hear a friend talk about a problem and from your perspective feel powerless to help them. If you find yourself feeling apathetic toward a person you know is in an unhealthy relationship, then this may be the first sign of fatigue.

 

Stepping away from the situation and asking for help from a trusted friend or counselor may be the best thing for you at this time. Remember, your friend is likely picking up on your frustration, which serves no one and may compound any feelings of isolation they are experiencing.

 

ANGER -This one can be extra tough because chances are you don’t want to be angry at the person experiencing abuse. If you’re feeling any sort of animosity toward your friend, this can cause a lot of internal conflicts. Sometimes, it’s easier to get angry at your friend instead of the root of the problem, their partner who is doing unhealthy or abusive things to them.

 

Just keep in mind that they are going through a lot with the relationship. It’s ok to set personal boundaries. If your anger persists, there’s no need to suffer in silence. Speak with a counselor to help you work through your feelings.

 

ISOLATION - If you find that you are not just avoiding the person in an unhealthy relationship, but also everyone in your life, then you may be experiencing Compassion Fatigue. This doesn’t mean wanting to relax. What makes Compassion Fatigue different is the feeling of being overwhelmed to the point where you have a hard time connecting with others.

 

NEGATIVITY -It’s hard to try to help a person and feel like nothing you do is making the situation better. Compassion Fatigue can amplify this feeling by making it difficult to be optimistic about anything. If you’re a person who is normally optimistic about life, yet find yourself having a negative comeback for everything– pay attention. A significant negative change in your normal behavior can be a sign of Compassion Fatigue.

 

FATIGUE -When you’re experiencing Compassion Fatigue, the exhaustion is overwhelming. It’s why you isolate yourself, it’s why you’ve stopped exercising, and it’s why you literally can’t anymore.

 

Here are five ways to deal with Compassion Fatigue:

·        Connect with a friend. Pick up the phone and have a conversation or find a time to meet in person.

·        Find opportunities to purposefully engage in conversations about moving your life forward.

·        In your life: Find two people who are a positive resource for you. Celebrate the silly and the irrelevant.

·        Learn to say no. Say no to working over lunch, or bringing work home with you

·        Take care of yourself. Start small by having your favorite beverage, take a nap, read for pleasure, write, take a walk, listen to music, or find 5 minutes to meditate.

  “Self-care is never a selfish act. It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires. We do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”  (Parker Palmer)[i]
 




[i] Sources used:

 

·        “5 Signs You’re Experiencing Compassion Fatigue” by Jennifer Koza

·        “Five Steps for Addressing Compassion Fatigue” by Cathy Krebs

 



 

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Worthy

Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy.” (Anonymous)

It’s not easy loving an unlovable person, is it? To love one another is easy when others are kind and good. When a friend or family member’s terrible habit irritates us, or they do something hurtful toward us. Our love for them can be tested. Each of us is precious in God’s eyes, but we are also fallible and very human. We all can be hard to love sometimes. I’ve found that people usually need love the most in those moments when they deserve love the least.

To love the unlovable is a challenge. It’s even a skill. Regardless of the difficulty, it is a necessity. It comes with much patience and prayer. I’m challenging you to love the unlovable, regardless. Do you know of a person you really don’t want to love? Maybe their rude or mean, and give you all the reasons not to love them. Don’t let anyone else determine who you need to be as a strong, devoted, and loving child of God.

Hurting people in the world need our love not our judgment. They need our support, not our condemnation. It’s impossible to judge someone and love them at the same time. Here are a few principles to keep in mind when it comes to loving the unlovable. If you’ll apply these to your relationships, I believe you can be part of changing someone’s life in a moment when they may need it most:

Balance tough love with compassion-When someone we love is in a self-destructive cycle and they’re a potential harm to themselves or to others, there may be times to show tough love. Depending on the circumstances, this may require interventions or even legal action, but make sure you motives are always driven by a deep and abiding compassion for the well being of everyone involved.

Don’t quit on them and don’t let them quit on themselves-The Bible teaches that there is nothing we could ever do that could possibly separate us from God’s love (see Romans 8:38-39). God calls us to have that same limitless love for others. It’s a love that’s not based on our own strength. It’s made possible only because of God’s strength. Once someone realizes that you’re going to stick with them no matter what; it can transform their perspective and their life.

Don’t treat people the way they treat you. Treat people the way God treats you-The character of God is to give love to unlovable people. All of us have been unlovable people. His love causes all love to be possible. The more you love you love God. The more you embrace His love and grace in your life. The more capacity you will have to give love and grace to others.

Expect nothing in return-This part is really hard because we want everything we give to eventually be communal, but that’s not always how love works. If you do good only to those who can repay you, that’s not called love. That’s called networking. Real love requires a willingness to serve someone even when they are in no position to repay you. Jesus did that for us and He calls us to do it for each other. Luke 6:32 (TPT) says: “Are you really showing true love by only loving those who love you back? Even those who don’t know God will do that. “

Invest into people at strategic low points-Every financial advisor will tell you that if you want to maximize your investment on a stock. You need to invest when the stock is low not when it’s high. There’s risk in investing at low points, but risk is just a part of life. When it comes to “relational investing,” I believe this same principle holds true.

 If you want to maximize your positive impact in someone’s life, don’t invest into the relationship only when the other person is on top of the world (high points). Give them your best when their “stock” is low. Serve them when they have no way to repay you. Be willing to rush into their pain and tragedy when everyone else is rushing out. You’ll be part of changing their life while also building a lifelong bond in the relationship. That’s real love.

 “To love means loving the unlovable; to forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.” (Gilbert K. Chesterton) [i]



[i] Sources used:
·        “5 ways to love someone who is acting unlovable” by Dave Willis

·        “5 Ways to Love the Unlovable in All of Us” by Maureen Pratt

·         “5 Ways to Show Love to the ‘Unlovable”’ By T.M. Gaouette
 

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

My Success

God will ensure my success in accordance with His plan not mine.” (Francis Chan)

Many people are seeking to find their purpose in life.  What is God’s purpose for them?  The answer to these questions is of supreme importance not only for believers.  God wants you to know His will for your life.  A good place to start is in prayer, reading the Bible, and in seeking counsel from Christian friends. If you have not placed saving faith in Jesus, then you are out of the will of God.

He desires that all to come to Him in repentance and faith.  You spend so much of your life concerned with how you look on the outside. God cares more about the inside than He does about the outside. Learn to trust Him and to hear His voice in prayer.

Will you spend time growing your character so that you can become all God desires for you? Let’s bring Him glory through how you mature on the inside. For many of us, finding God's will for our lives may seem misleading. Finding God’s will is much easier than you make it. Here are four steps to help identify God's will and purpose for your life:

Identify Your Spiritual Gift(s)-Discovering God’s will and calling at a personal level can be a little more challenging. A good place to start is by identifying your spiritual gift(s). God has created each of us with special talents and abilities, but He’s also given us unique gifts (1 Corinthians 12:11). Our spiritual gifts are a serious indicator of what God expects us to do for Him (Romans 12:4-8).

The best way to identify your spiritual gift is in prayer, and to start serving in various capacities. What brings you joy? Seek out ways to minister within your church and community. Be sure to get counsel from others about the effectiveness of your ministry. If you are sure you know your spiritual gift(s), there should be other, wise believers that agree.

Live Actively Not Passively-Don’t wait for God to show you His personal will. Assume that you are in His will today and that He will guide you and reveal more as you walk with Him. That means it’s time to take action. Many of us wish God would send us a letter in the mail detailing the next five years. And even though you know He won’t, you can waste our energy sitting around waiting for that clear "sign."

Or worse, allow other people to control and direct the course of our life. But you were each designed to actively fulfill a unique purpose during our time on earth—one that both glorifies our Father and brings us great joy. Let’s live, pray, and minister every day with conviction that He has a calling for our lives. Be proactive—"stir up the gift of God which is in you" (2 Timothy 1:6). Ask God for wisdom and direction (James 1:5). Tell Him you want to do what He has created and called you to do.

Nurture Your Calling-When you actively and obediently serve the Lord, He will reveal His will for us. As He does, you are held accountable and responsible for nurturing that will being faithful to what God has called us to do. Think of it as the difference between being a child and a steward. A child is a seeker while a steward is a server. A child wants to know "What?" while a steward asks "Where and when?" A child is curious—"What is your will for me?"—while a steward is committed: "I'm here to do Your will, O Lord."

 When God gives us the direction you seek, you need to be faithful stewards of that will and act on it. It is God’s responsibility to show us His will for our life and our responsibility to nurture His calling and perfect it for His glory. I know of no more energizing factor in the Christian life than a personal conviction of knowing and fulfilling God's call for your life. I challenge you to pursue His will and perfect it for His glory.

Understand Your Calling as a Christian-The reality is God has revealed most of His will to us in His Word already. All Christians are "called to be saints" (Romans 1:7). In fact, the word "church" in the original Greek refers to those “called out”—in a spiritual sense, called out of the world to God. So every Christian has a divine purpose: “to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called” (Ephesians 4:1). You have a purpose as servants of Christ to carry out the instructions He left with His apostles—to proclaim the Gospel and make disciples in all the nations of the world (Matthew 28:19-20). Are you living according to God's revealed will? If you expect God to reveal to us His will that you don't know, you need to adhere to His will that you do know. That’s the important first step.

 “Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively doing God's will.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer) [i]




[i] Sources used:
·        “4 Steps to Finding God's Will for Your Life” by David Jeremiah
·        “God has a Plan for You” by Jeff Simmons
·        “How to Find God’s Will in Your Life” by Jack Wellman

Monday, February 24, 2020

Anything

 I started withdrawing from social situations; I stopped doing things one by one, until I found myself at home alone not doing much of anything.”   (Shannon)

Dear Friend,

Do you remember that time we had big plans to do something amazing on the weekend, and I told you at the last minute that I really wanted to go, but I just couldn’t do it? I remember it because it was hard for me to make the decision to take care of myself instead of going to do something fun that I was really looking forward to. I spent the day making sure I had healthy food lined up for the week. I took a few short naps. I drank lots of water. I meditated and arranged my calendar for the week so I would not miss any appointments. Forget to pick up my prescriptions, or miss a due date for my bills.

It was a really boring day and I kept thinking about how much I would have rather been with you, but I am working really hard on self-care. That doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun anymore. I still want to do fun things with you. I still want to have a social life. It does mean that I am learning to see what tips the balance in my life, and I’m learning to say, “No.” Here is what I wish you understood:

Narcolepsy is not the same as being lazy. I know that you have to do all the same types of chores that I have to do, and you can get them done in the middle of your work week and you expect me to be able to do the same. But sometimes that just isn’t possible.

You see, my body attacked the Orexin (hypocretin) in my brain. Orexin is responsible for regulating so many things that I took for granted before it was destroyed, like arousal, wakefulness, and appetite. While it may seem like I should wake up feeling amazing after 10 hours of sleep, my sleep is messed up too. My brain doesn’t do what it should when I am sleeping either, and sometimes I lay awake half the night trying to get back to sleep. It’s a rather ironic and frustrating situation to be in.

The sleepiness I feel is not avoidable. When I apologize in the middle of our conversation because my eyelids are drooping, it is not that I am bored with our discussion. If I excuse myself to sleep for a few minutes, it’s because I care about what you are saying and I want to remember it later. The sleepiness of narcolepsy is not something I can just push through.

Sleepiness comes roaring through my head like a freight train, and if I try to fight it off, I end up with a massive headache, and my brain will feel stuffed full of cotton so nothing works as it should. Sometimes I can’t even remember where I was or what I did during that fight behind my eyelids. So while I am able to sit upright and appear awake, it would be much more productive for me to just take the nap my body is demanding.

Of course, I can take medication for my sleepiness, but while it has the ability to keep my eyes open, it does little for the cottony fog and lack of ability to focus. If I want to clear the fog, I have to close my eyes and sleep for a while. Many people think napping every day is luxury, but when it is just as necessary as using the bathroom, it feels more like an inconvenience. These waves of sleepiness are unpredictable. While they often are correlated with eating, they can appear out of nowhere for seemingly no reason at all.

During an episode like this, I am unable to drive, or possibly walk effectively. My cataplexy symptoms will increase and it could be dangerous for me to push through the sleepiness. This makes it difficult for me to maintain a schedule. Why it may seem simple to set aside an hour to have coffee with you, I feel awful when I have to call and cancel on short notice when I realize I am not able to drive, or I am too foggy to be mentally present for our conversation.

Cataplexy has emotional consequences I can’t even begin to express. Cataplexy is a sudden muscle weakness that usually occurs when experiencing strong emotions. It is different for different people, but in my case generally occurs in my hands, arms, and jaw. This means I may begin slurring my words or something may slip out of my hands when I laugh or feel some other emotion. In more severe cases, it can result in a complete collapse to the floor where I remain unable to move or speak for a matter of seconds or even minutes. It’s a vulnerable position to be in so you can imagine why I work so hard to avoid situations where I may experience this. It puts huge stress on my social life, and emotionally it is a large weight I carry around.

Sometimes, when we talk about this, I am moody and irritable and may say things I don’t mean. I get so frustrated with my narcolepsy, but I end up taking it out on myself and other people. It really interferes with my moods, but when I am well rested, I feel guilty for the way I treated you when I was tired. It’s difficult to deal with my emotions and talk about them with you because I know it’s not easy to understand my situation. I don’t want to make excuses for my behavior. I want to find a way to manage my emotions, and self-care is the tool I am using now.

I am not asking you to completely understand. I just want you to know that I am doing my best. It’s challenging to live in a body that I don’t trust and cannot control. It is also emotionally draining to try to conform to all of the expectations society has placed on me. Maybe you don’t always see how much narcolepsy is affecting my life because when I go out for social occasions I try to be at my best. Behind the scenes, there are times when I can’t gather my thoughts enough to finish a sentence.

 I can’t think of the simplest words, and I cannot focus on even the most basic of tasks like brushing my teeth without getting distracted. Sometimes, I need a little support, and I don’t know how to ask for it. I may even turn it down if you offered because like anyone else I have pride and want to feel independent. I am working on improving that. As my friend, you may be wondering what you can do to help.

Calling me up to listen to how things are going is always appreciated. If we make plans, maybe sometimes we can have coffee at my house instead of across town, and if my dishes are not washed and I haven’t taken a shower please don’t judge me. I’m doing my best. Instead of telling me what you have read or seen or heard helps with my type of symptoms, ask me what I want and what I need more support with. I know your suggestions come from a place of love. If one more well-meaning friend tells me exercise will help me, I may scream.

You can ask me questions about my narcolepsy. While I don’t want our relationship to be all about me and my diagnosis, I could really use a friend that understands what I am dealing with. Ask me what it feels like. I don’t need you to say you know exactly how I feel. It would be better if you say the opposite and tell me you can’t imagine how I feel since you haven’t experienced it.

I would love to listen to some of your hard to talk about issues. Just because you don’t have narcolepsy doesn’t mean you don’t have issues that are difficult. I am here to listen as well and I won’t judge because I know how it feels to be judged. I crave real social connection not the ordinary small talk that I can have with anyone. I want to engage in intense conversations with you and feel an important connection between us.

So please don’t write me off as a friend because I’ve canceled the last few times we made plans. Please don’t think I’m lazy or unmotivated. I am doing my best. All I ask from you is that you do your best to understand. I am not narcolepsy, but it has a bigger impact on my life than I would like it to. Taking care of me is the best way I know how to reduce this impact. Your support means a great deal to me. Thanks for reading this letter through to the end. I’d like to meet with you and talk about any questions you may have, or about what is happening in your life that you want to talk about.

Love,

A Person with Narcolepsy (PWR)

“Sometimes I woke up in bed with this feeling that there was someone in the room, someone who wanted to do something really horrible to me, and I would find that I couldn’t move at all.” (Lisa)[i]



[i] Adapted from: “Letter to a friend from a PWN (Person with Narcolepsy)” by Kayla Douglas
 
 

Everything

  “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” (Saint Augustine) It shouldn’t be surprising th...