Thursday, October 31, 2019

Reverse

“Beware of throwing someone under the bus. Remember: the bus does shift into reverse.” (Janette McGowen)

"To throw (someone) under the bus" is a cliche meaning to betray a friend or ally for selfish reasons. It is typically used to describe a self-defensive disavowal and severance of a previously-friendly relationship when the relationship becomes controversial, unpopular, or inconvenient.  Implied by this phrase is to intentionally reveal damaging or unflattering information about another's character while at the same time the speaker is trying to make themself look good, innocent in the eyes of the listener, or to shift blame or attention in a cowardly way.

The earliest known usage of this phrase was 21 June 1982, when Julian Critchley of The Times (London) wrote "President Galtieri had pushed her under the bus which the gossips had said was the only means of her removal." In a March 2008 National Public Radio (NPR) report, the linguist Geoff Nunberg noted that "under the bus" "has appeared in more than 400 press stories on the campaign over the last six months".  It seems possible that the expression throw/push/shove someone under the bus comes from Britain in the late 1970s or early 1980s.

Unfair criticism comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it shows up in your annual performance review when the boss rates you as failing to meet expectations in an area of performance where you had no idea you were falling short. Other times it shows up when a colleague criticizes you in an effort to deflect attention from his/her own shortcomings. Regardless of the cause or circumstance, unfair criticism hurts. It erodes trust between people, causes rifts in relationships, and stymies effective teamwork. You can’t control when you get thrown under the bus, but you can choose how to respond. Here are eight tips on how to respond to unfair criticism:

1. Remember that your response shapes your reputation –Take the high road and respond with integrity, empathy, and professionalism. Don’t let someone else’s unprofessional behavior goad you into responding in kind. Trusted leaders know that at the end of the day all they have is their integrity.

2. Don’t react defensively – Defensiveness only escalates the situation and lends weight to the unjustified criticism. Getting passionately fired up and gives emotional control to the accuser and limits your ability to respond rationally and thoughtfully.

3. Listen to understand; not to defend – Our most common instinct when you experience unfair criticism is to zero in on the fallacies of the other person’s comments and formulate a response to defend ourselves. Instead, resist the urge to focus on the micro elements of what’s being communicated and focus on the macro implications of the criticism. Even if the specific accusations of the criticism are off-base, there may be things you can learn and benefit from if you consider the broader message.

4. Acknowledge any truth that is present – Agreeing with any valid part of the criticism is a way to acknowledge you’re hearing the feedback without agreeing to the entirety of what’s being communicated or beating yourself up over the situation. Sometimes there is a kernel of truth present and it may be an opportunity for you to learn something new about yourself or the other person. If there are elements of the criticism that are blatantly not true, state your differences in a respectful and professional way without getting into a debate parsing the details.

5. Consider the source –If the person delivering the criticism is prone to dramatization, criticizing others, being egotistical, or other unpredictable behavioral patterns, then you have more evidence to discredit their feedback. However, if the person delivering the criticism is known as a steady, stable, trustworthy professional who has been personally supportive of you in the past, you should take stock of their feedback and explore it further.

6. Probe for root causes – What’s being communicated in the unfair criticism is often symptoms of a deeper issue. When you encounter criticism, ask open-ended questions or statements like “Tell me more…,” “Explain why that’s important to you…,” or “What’s the impact of that?” Asking a series of “why?” questions can also help you discover the root cause of the issue.

7. Understand their world – It’s helpful to understand the other person’s motivation for being unfairly critical. Is the person unhappy, stressed, insecure, frustrated, or vying for power or control? Is there a significant amount of change happening in the organization? Organizational change brings out the critics and unfair criticism increases dramatically. Criticizing and blaming others is a defense mechanism to deal with the fear of being asked to change. Even though you’re the target, remember that unfair criticism is often more about them than you.

8. Remember that you are more than the criticism – It’s easy to get down on yourself when you experience criticism from your colleagues. Most people strive to perform well and do what’s right, and when you have a boss or colleague criticize your efforts it hurts deeply. Depending on your personality and emotional make up, it may lead to anger, bitterness, stress, resentment, self-doubt, and pity just to name a few. Remember that this too shall pass, and in the big scheme of things this is probably just a small thing. Keep focused on all the positive things in your life such as the people you love, those who love you, the successes you’re having at work, the joy you experience from your hobbies, your spiritual faith, and the support of your family and friends.

The only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” (Elbert Hubbard)[i]




[i] Sources used:
·        5 Ways to Cope When You Have Been Thrown Under the Bus” by Tamara Mendelson

·        “Throw under the bus” From Wikipedia

·        “Thrown Under the Bus? 8 Tips on Dealing with Unfair Criticism” by Leading with Trust

·        Thrown under the bus” by Urban Dictionary
·        www.npr.org
 

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Water

“Having a dry mouth can quickly cause bad breath. Help avoid that by staying hydrated, and drinking plenty of water.” (PictureQuotes.com)

Dry mouth (xerostomia) is defined as when our salivary glands don’t produce enough saliva to keep our mouth optimally hydrated and wet.  This can be a result of many different aspects of daily life, from stress to aging to over-the-counter medications to other diseases. Saliva helps prevent tooth decay by neutralizing acids produced by bacteria, limiting bacterial growth, and washing away food particles.

 Saliva also enhances one’s ability to taste and makes it easier to chew, swallow and enzymes in saliva aid in the process of digestion. Decreased saliva and dry mouth can range from being merely a nuisance to something that has a major impact on your general health and the health of your teeth and gums, as well as your appetite and enjoyment of food.

Excessive dry mouth can put you at increased risk for gum disease and tooth decay as saliva normally helps fight bacteria and keep your mouth healthy. If you’re one of the many people who struggle with this condition, understanding the common causes can help you learn how to solve it. Here are some of the reasons people experience dry mouth:

Aging Many older people experience dry mouth as they age. Contributing factors include the use of certain medications, changes in the body's ability to process medication, inadequate nutrition, and having long-term health problems.

Cancer therapy Chemotherapy drugs can change the nature of saliva and the amount produced. This may be temporary with normal salivary flow returning after treatment is completed. Radiation treatments to your head and neck can damage salivary glands, causing a marked decrease in saliva production. This may be temporary or permanent depending on the radiation dose and area treated.

Dehydration A common cause of dry mouth is simply dehydration. Staying hydrated is not only good for your oral health, but also for your overall physical health. Make a habit of drinking at least 64 fluid ounces a day that’s about the same amount of liquid you’d find in a two-liter bottle. Too much physical exertion, exercising during a hot day or a lack of overall fluid intake can lead to symptoms of dry mouth.

Infection or disease Many diseases are known to cause dry mouth symptoms. Medical conditions like Parkinson’s, HIV/Aids, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, strokes, depression, cystic fibrosis, anemia, Sjögren’s syndrome, and yeast infection (thrush) in your mouth attack the salivary glands and decrease saliva production. If you’re fighting an infection or suffering from a particular disease, you may experience dry mouth.


Medications Over 400 over-the-counter and prescription medications are known to cause dry mouth as a side effect. Among the more likely types to cause problems are some of the drugs used to treat depression, high blood pressure and anxiety, as well as some antihistamines, decongestants, muscle relaxants and pain medications.

Nerve damage If you’ve suffered nerve damage after an injury or surgery, then you may have difficulty producing saliva in your mouth, ultimately leading to a chronic dry mouth. Certain injuries to the head or neck are known to damage the salivary glands and cause symptoms of dry mouth.


Side Effect If you use certain medications or receive certain medical treatments, you may also experience dry mouth as a side effect. Common medications used to treat conditions such as anxiety, depression, colds, acne or diarrhea can cause it. In addition, some medical treatments such as chemotherapy or other forms of radiation treatment can also cause dry mouth. If you suspect a medication is the cause of your condition, talk to your doctor or pharmacist about changing your prescription to help you manage your dry mouth.

Smoking Tobacco Smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco often leads to dry mouth. This is because the tobacco slows down how quickly your mouth produces saliva, which can aggravate the condition.

Snoring Dry mouth can be due to certain health conditions like breathing with your mouth open, which can also lead to a dry mouth. That’s because your body is best suited for inhaling through your nose, which naturally filters the air. Breathing through your mouth may cause your saliva to evaporate.

Here are ways to temporarily help relieve dry mouth:

·         Avoid spicy or salty foods

·         Drink more water

·         Increase the moisture in your house by buying a humidifier

·         Minimize alcohol intake

·         Minimize or eliminate drinks with caffeine

·         Minimize or eliminate drinks/foods with sugar

·         Quit smoking or chewing tobacco

·         Suck on ice cubes

·         Use American Dental Association (ADA) approved mints or gum with no sugar (I use Biotene Dry Mouth Moisturizing Spray 1.5 fl oz gentle mint flavor.)

 “It's disgusting, but my father taught me when your mouth gets dry, just suck the sweat out of your own jersey. There's no bravado to any of it. It's just a disgusting little trick.” (Kobe Bryant) [i]



[i] Sources used:

·        “6 Common Causes of Dry Mouth” by Russel Roderick

·        “Dry Mouth: The Causes, the Signs & How to Deal with It” by Smart Mouth
·        Dry mouth” by Mayo Clinic

·        www.ada.org

 

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Superman

“Having a stage name is like having a Superman complex. I go into the telephone booth as Eric Bishop and come out as Jamie Foxx.” (Jamie Foxx)

A stage name is a pseudonym used by performers and entertainers such as actors, comedians, singers and musicians. A lot of newscasters also change their names, or tweak them a little (from J.D. Roberts to John Roberts). Such titles are adopted for a wide variety of reasons and may be similar or nearly identical to an individual's birth name.
A performer will often take a stage name because their real name is considered unattractive, dull, or unintentionally amusing, or is difficult to pronounce. Actors can work a lifetime under a stage name without ever changing their name legally. If you decide you need a stage name, what you’re changing your name to depends on why you’re changing it!
 
In some cases, the individual may adopt a stage name to avoid confusion with other family members who have similar names. Actor Mark Harmon (Thomas Mark Harmon) uses his middle name professionally to avoid confusion with his father Heisman Trophy winner and former broadcaster Tom Harmon (Thomas Dudley Harmon).
 
A stage name can help a performer craft and reflect their public persona, or connect with the audience more effectively. A stage name can also help a performer maintain a separation between their public life and their personal life. How do you determine whether or not to use a stage name?
 
1.   If you need to avoid union confusion. To avoid confusion, Screen Actors GuildAmerican Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA) does not allow working actors to use identical screen names. If an actor’s name is already being utilized, the new union member must choose a new name.
Sometimes that change is as simple as adding or removing a middle initial (like Michael Fox versus Michael J. Fox), but sometimes the name change is more significant and involved. For instance, Michael Keaton was born Michael Douglas, but his career was preceded by Michael Douglas, who beat him to the union registry.
2. If you have a very popular or common name.
Union rules aside, actors take stage names for a number of other reasons. If your name is a common one, there are most likely other people with your same name. Actors with particularly common last names (Smith, Johnson) are likely to change their names. Maybe that’s why Caryn Elaine Johnson became Whoopi Goldberg.
3. If someone famous is already using your name.
Actor-writer-director Albert Brooks was born Albert Einstein and changed his surname for obvious reasons. Singer-actor David Bowie (born David Robert Jones) changed his name to avoid confusion with singer and actor Davy Jones. Many names are inspired or refer directly to real-world things that may be seemingly unflattering. Some surnames (like Belcher, Hooker, etc.) have meanings that can complicate actors’ attempts to cultivate the professional image they want. Cary Grant’s original name Archibald Leach seemed less romantic than what Paramount Pictures wanted for its leading man.

4. If your name doesn’t represent who you are.
Just like people, all names come from somewhere. However, if your name clearly comes from a specific place and you look like you come from someplace else entirely; you might consider using a show name. For instance, a fair, blonde Latina who does not speak Spanish may choose a show name that conceals or obscures her heritage. If your name suggests a strong identification with a language other than English, a stage name might be something to consider.
Stage names were also traditionally used to avoid discrimination or the potential for it. Ethnic names were commonly “Anglicized” to make them seem more English or American, or simply to make them more easily remembered and understood to the American film and television industry at large. Ethnic surnames can also be a great advantage for actors as television and commercials like to diversify their casts.
Jerry Rivers changed his professional name to Geraldo Rivera. David Boreanaz opted not to change his surname. In the 1950s, his father used Thomas or Roberts instead of Boreanaz. For actors today, highlighting or obscuring ethnic heritage are equally common motives for creating and using an actor stage name.
5. If a different name will be easier to use and understand.
The
Actors' Equity Association (AEA) recommends performers use names that are easy for others to say, spell, and remember. Asa Butterfield is easy enough to say and remember, but his full name, Asa Maxwell Thornton Farr Butterfield would be a little tough to squeeze onto a headshot. Joaquin Phoenix first worked as Leaf Phoenix because it was easier for him to say as a child actor, and Leaf fit in with the nature names of his other working family members, like his older brother River.
6. If you need to protect your identity.
Working professionally under one name while using your “regular name” at home helps some actors separate their working and private lives. For child actors, stage names can provide an added layer of identity insulation, which parents may prefer for their child’s safety. Acting credits may be listed under the stage name while the legal name or birth name appears on school enrollment, sports rosters, and any local event mentions.
“It's important to use a stage name so that your real name doesn't appear on public records.” (RuPaul) [i]



[i]Sources used:
·        “6 Reasons a Stage Name Might Be Right for You” By Mae Ross

·        Actors' Equity Association” From Wikipedia

·        “Do newscasters change their names?” By Yahoo Answers

·        How to Choose a Stage Name” by wikiHow

·        How to Pick a Stage Name” by wikiHow

·        “SAG-AFTRA” From Wikipedia

·        “Stage name” From Wikipedia

This topic was suggested by friend and blog member, Juli Critser.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Too Busy

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." (Henry David Thoreau)

18 A religious leader asked Jesus, “Good Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?”

19 Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? Only God is good. 20 And you know his commands: ‘You must not commit adultery, you must not murder anyone, you must not steal, you must not tell lies about others, you must respect your father and mother ….’”

21 But the leader said, “I have obeyed all these commands since I was a boy.”

22 When Jesus heard this, he said to the leader, “But there is still one thing you need to do. Sell everything you have and give the money to those who are poor. You will have riches in heaven. Then come and follow me.” 23 But when the man heard Jesus tell him to give away his money, he was sad. He didn’t want to do this, because he was very rich.

24 When Jesus saw that the man was sad, he said, “It will be very hard for rich people to enter God’s kingdom. 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter God’s kingdom.” (Luke 18:18-25, ERV)


The god of success invites you to save yourself instead of depending on Jesus to do it. In God’s economy, success only comes as you declare your spiritual bankruptcy.
“Those people who know they have great spiritual needs are happy.
    The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.
Those who are sad now are happy.
    God will comfort them.
Those who are humble are happy.
    The earth will belong to them.
Those who want to do right more than anything else are happy.
    God will fully satisfy them.
Those who give mercy to others are happy.
    Mercy will be given to them.
Those who are pure in their thinking are happy.
    They will be with God.
Those who work to bring peace are happy.
    God will call them his sons.
10 Those who are treated badly for doing good are happy.
    The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.
(Matthew 5:3-10, ICB)

How do you slay the god of money? Refuse to look at it as a source of security, satisfaction, or significance.

 He who loves money shall never have enough. The foolishness of thinking that wealth brings happiness. (Ecclesiastes 5:10, TLB)

Be generous, and give what you have away.

Give freely, and you will profit. Help others, and you will gain more for yourself. (Proverbs 11:25, ERV)

How do you slay the god of achievement?

40 But Martha became exasperated by finishing the numerous household chores in preparation for her guests, so she interrupted Jesus and said, “Lord, don’t you think it’s unfair that my sister left me to do all the work by myself? You should tell her to get up and help me.”

41 The Lord answered her, “Martha, my beloved Martha. Why are you upset and troubled, pulled away by all these many distractions? Are they really that important? 42 Mary has discovered the one thing most important by choosing to sit at my feet. She is undistracted, and I won’t take this privilege from her.” (Luke 10:40-42, TPT)

Two key phrases (of two sisters):


·        Martha became exasperated…


·        Mary has discovered the one thing most important…


Choose to be still, and worship God.

 “Be still, be calm, see, and understand I am the True God. I am honored among all the nations. I am honored over all the earth.” (Psalm 46:10, VOICE)

"There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed." (Ray Goforth)[i]



[i] Inspired by the sermon “Slaying the god of Success: Slaying gods, “(installment four) Sunday October 20, 2019, Pastor Dave Jansen, CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH.

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Everything

“Everything you look at can become a fairy tale, and you can get a story from everything you touch.” (Hans Christian Andersen)

Do you like fairy tales? Did you know that fairy tales are often influenced by different cultures and times, and that’s why there are different versions around the world? A fairy tale is an instance of a folklore genre that takes the form of a short story. Such stories typically feature beings such as dwarfs, dragons, elves, fairies, giants, gnomes, goblins, griffins, mermaids, talking animals, trolls, unicorns, witches, and usually magic or enchantments. In most cultures, there is no clear line separating myth from folk or fairy tale. The term of fairy tale is mainly used for stories with origins in European tradition, and mostly relates to children's literature.

Fairy tales are so ingrained in popular culture — thanks to a thousand children's books and Walt Disney — that almost everyone can recite a handful by heart: Snow WhiteCinderellaRapunzelJack and the Bean StalkThe Pied Piper, and Hansel and Gretel. The stories we know today are the product of hundreds of years of reworking, reimagining and, in some cases, sanitization. Check out the original facts about your favorite fairy tales:

CINDERELLA

·        Although about half of the Cinderella tales across cultures included an evil stepmother, the antagonist in the others was often Cinderella’s biological father, who would lust after her, and attempt to marry Cinderella after her mother died.

·        In pantomime versions of Cinderella the ugly sisters started off being called Clorinda and Thisbe, but their names have constantly changed down the years to reflect the fashions of time, including Buttercup and Daisy, Euthanasia and Asphyxia, Alexis and Krystle and even Posh and Scary.

·        Some early versions of Cinderella have one of the Ugly Sisters hacking her toes off to make the glass slipper fit her foot.

·        The earliest dateable version of the Cinderella story appears in a Chinese book written about 850-860AD. The earliest European version was published in Italy in 1634, and in 1697 Perrault introduced Cinderella, Or the Tale of the Little Glass Slipper.

·        The very first tale of Cinderella was recorded in China at around AD 850. That Cinderella is Yeh-hsien. She wears a dress made of kingfisher feathers and her shoes are made of gold.

GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS

·        Early versions of the Goldilocks and the Three Bears story had three good-natured and trusting male bears, but over the years these have changed to a father bear, a mother bear and a baby bear.

 

·        One of the earliest versions of Goldilocks and the Three Bears features a foul-mouthed old woman rather than a golden-haired young girl. In another, Goldilocks ends up impaled on the steeple of St Paul's Cathedral.

·        The Goldilocks Zone is the habitable region round a star where orbiting planets similar to the Earth can support liquid water – neither too hot, nor too cold. In 2010 astronomers found a 'Goldilocks planet' (Gliese 581g), which is about three times the size of Earth and lies in the habitable zone of its star.

RAPUNZEL

·        In the French version of Rapunzel, the story does not have a happy ending. Rapunzel is turned into a frog and the prince is cursed with a pig’s snout.

·        In the original 1812 version of the Brothers’ Grimm’s Rapunzel, the prince visits Rapunzel in the tower every night to sleep with her, and the maternal fairy finds out when Rapunzel becomes pregnant.

 

SNOW WHITE

·        In the Brothers’ Grimm’s Snow White, the prince falls in love with Snow White after seeing her already deceased in her coffin. The dwarves give him the coffin after he begs for it and as his servants carry it back to the palace they trip on a tree stump and the apple comes out of Snow White’s throat, rendering her alive again.

·        In the Disney movie Snow White, the evil queen sought Snow White’s heart. But in the Grimm brothers’ original tale, the evil queen wanted to consume her lungs and liver.

·        In the same Snow White story, the evil queen’s punishment is to dance in red hot shoes at Snow White’s wedding until she dies.

THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD

·        A wolf was not always the villain in early versions of Little Red Riding Hood – sometimes it was an ogre or werewolf.

·        In several versions of The Little Red Riding Hood, the wolf would also trick the girl into eating parts of her grandmother as well, as cannibalism used to be a common occurrence in fairy tales.

·        In some versions of Little Red Riding Hood the heroine is bringing grape juice and banana bread to her grandmother – in other words she is carrying wine and cake.

·        The Little Red Riding Hood was a popular story told as a lesson for women in the king’s court to stay celibate until marriage, as there are “wolves” out there just looking to use innocent girls for the wrong reasons.

·        The red hood in Little Red Riding Hood was introduced by Charles Perrault in Tales Of Mother Goose (1697), who said the moral of the story was that children "do very wrong to listen to strangers." In the early centuries, the story of the Little Red Riding Hood was used to warn children of the dangerous wild animals in the woods. People were really afraid of wolves.

·        The version of Little Red Riding Hood by the Brothers Grimm has the wolf devouring the heroine and her grandmother. The huntsman rescues them by disemboweling the wolf and then sews rocks into its belly.

·        In Roald Dahl’s version of the Little Red Riding Hood, Red Riding Hood is not as helpless as she was in the story we grew up with. She actually strikes back against the wolf.

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS

·        In 2012 The Guardian ran an ad relating the tale of The Three Little Pigs in the style of modern news coverage, revealing that pigs had falsely accused the asthmatic wolf of blowing the house down when they were actually attempting insurance fraud.

·        The 1992 song Three Little Pigs by cartoon band Green Jelly sets the story in Los Angeles with the three pigs featured as an aspiring guitarist, a dumpster-diving evangelist and a Harvard architecture graduate, with the wolf driving a Harley Davidson motorcycle. At the end, the third pig calls 911 and the wolf is machine-gunned down by John Rambo.

·        The best-known version of Three Little Pigs is a 1933 Silly Symphony cartoon (above) produced by Walt Disney, starring Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig and Practical Pig. The first two pigs get their houses blown down but escape from the wolf.

 “But life isn't a fairy tale which ends 'happily ever after' just because the last line of the story is written. Hurts have to heal, resentments have to fade, [and] trusts have to mend.”  (Rasana Atreya)[i]




[i] Sources used:
·        “11 Fun Facts about Fairy Tales” by Aida Rahim

·        “20 fantastic fairy tale facts” By Linda Stewart

·        “8 Shocking Things You Didn't Know About Fairy Tales” By Samantha Meyer

·        “A fairy tale kiss? Not so much. Five things you might not know about classic fairy tales” by Tracy Mumford

·        “Fairy tale” From Wikipedia

 

Everything

  “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” (Saint Augustine) It shouldn’t be surprising th...