Attention

 “When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to yourself. You’ve seen them in action, I’m sure—‘play actors’ I call them—treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that’s all they get. When you help someone out, don’t think about how it looks. Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out. (Matthew 6:2-4, MSG)

Attention seeking behavior is quite simply doing things that are likely to get others to notice you. The problem with attention seekers is that it’s often hard to figure out how to deal with them. Attention seeking friends can be a problem for a number of reasons. They’re needy, often embarrass themselves (and you), and don’t understand your boundaries.  It’s their insecurity and attention seeking behavior that causes the social difficulties they struggle with.

Have you ever made a statement to someone just to see someone’s reaction? Even if their response is negative or angry, it feels good to be noticed. People learn attention-seeking behaviors out of fear. Why is attention seeking behavior such a poor choice in handling your need for attention? It's because this behavior puts a strain on the other people in your life.

Someone that is emotionally mature will receive all the validation they need for their self-confidence during their lives. Attention-seeking behavior can be a symptom of a mental disorder or a form of manipulation. If your life is all dramatic ups and downs with no plateaus, it might be worth stepping back and seeing why you need all this attention. Below are the types of attention-seeking behavior:

Fishing for Compliments-True compliments is the kind that is given without being asked for. And if you feel confident about yourself and put effort into your work, relationships, and self, you're likely to get true compliments as often as anyone else does. Some people, however, feel deep insecurity about who they are.

 

Often, insecurity leads to trying to buff up your self-esteem by trying to point out your good qualities to someone else rather than letting them notice on their own. Most of us fish for compliments at some point or another, and it's not always a sign of low self-esteem. It is a problem when you need to hear from someone else that something about you is "good" to feel good about yourself.

Always ill-One way of getting attention is to feign illness or to play on an existing one. We learn from a very early age that as soon as we injure ourselves, we get an immediate and soothing reaction from our parents. In some extreme cases, people have been known to severely injure themselves in order to gain attention.

It is completely natural to feel sorry for someone who is suffering and to comfort them, making them the focus at that time. This is a powerful feeling for some people. Gaining sympathy is almost the same as getting attention. So for a person who is more of an introvert than an extrovert, they will employ subtler means of getting attention, no hysterics from them. Instead, they’ll feign illness so that others are always at a disadvantage.

Busy Bee-Have you got a friend that is always the busiest person on the planet? No matter how much you have to do, she or he is always inundated with tasks? They haven’t got a moment to themselves and they wish they had an easy life like you? This kind of attention-seeking behavior is more of a put down to others, as it clearly states, in a passive-aggressive way – ‘I’m far more important than you because I am always busier than you.’

Hysterical Behavior-This sort of behavior is typified by histrionic outbursts with emotional reactions to anything and everything. The outbursts will be over-exaggerated and tend to be melodramatic, loud and over-the-top. People who are hysterical will anger at the slightest provocation and be inappropriate in situations. This sort of behavior is used as a manipulation technique as it immediately focuses everyone’s attention onto the hysterical person giving them the attention they need.

Indispensable Friend-These types of people prey on the vulnerable and insert themselves into other people’s lives, becoming indispensable to the point where they bask in the glory of their special friend status. As the vulnerable person begins to lean on them more and more so do the opportunities for exploitation. If the vulnerable manages to get them free, then the indispensable friend will become resentful and disrespectful. This technique is used to manipulate as it elevates the attention-seeking person’s status above all others as they make themselves the most important person around.

Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSBP)-A known psychological disorder, but a frightening one. A person suffering MSBP will get attention by harming someone and then stepping in at the last moment and saving them. In this way, they get all the glory and ‘superhero’ status that is afforded after the rescue. Mothers, in particular, are susceptible as are nurses and firefighters, anyone that has a job that involves responsibility for the public. This is a particularly worrying disorder as it can prove to be fatal. For someone with attention-seeking behavior, however, it is addictive and all-consuming. The attention they receive by being close to the action is exactly what they’ve needed all their lives.

Plays the Victim-Do you know someone that just seems to have the worst luck ever? This is not a person that has actually suffered from a crime or terrible life event, but a person that uses the status of victimhood to elevate themselves above others. This person will view everything as a negative experience and believe they are being deliberately chosen. If one problem is solved then expect another to happen soon afterwards. Used to manipulate, a person who always plays the victim will drain energy from people around them and use other’s sympathy as a barrier to the truth about them.

 “I'm terribly attention-seeking. It's very different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to control it. And you can't exactly.” (David Walliams) [i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “6 Ways Attention-Seeking Behavior Can Be a Form of Manipulation” by Learning Mind

·        “Are You Guilty Of Attention Seeking Behavior?” By Sarah Fader

·    “Top 5 Best Ways to Deal with an Attention Seeker” by Tom La Vecchia

 

Angry

Fathers, don’t make your children angry, but raise them with the kind of teaching and training you learn from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4, ERV)

The first word in the above passage is “Father.” While it is fathers who are addressed here, most commentators acknowledge that it is fair to see these instructions as being written also to mothers. Fathers can cause a child to become irate. They know this. I think we can go a step further to say there are times when our children are reasonable in their anger towards us. There may be times when your children’s anger toward you is more justified than your actions or attitude toward them.

A discouraged child is one who has lost heart. He is so beaten down that he has also lost hope, motivation, and doesn’t care anymore. It is possible that you beat down your child emotionally so that they stop trying to please you. Maybe your demands are unfair. Maybe you never praise your child and take joy in them. Maybe you live hypocritically before them with higher expectations for them than for yourself.

You need to correct your child in a variety of ways sometimes with a look, a word, a timeout, and maybe even a spanking. That is the negative side of fathering. But positively, you also need to teach them what is right. Today, more fathers are experiencing the satisfaction and reward of taking a more active role in the life of their child. Below are simple ideas that can impact you’re a father relationship and their child's future: 

 Be a Role Model-Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by men. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.

Be a Teacher-Too often we think teaching is something others do at a school building. A father who teaches his child about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his child make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their child learn the basic lessons of life. Consider the vital knowledge only a father possesses.

Discipline with Love-All a child needs is discipline and guidance not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your child of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love to their child. 

Eat Together As a Family-Sharing a meal together can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to providing some structure on a busy day, it gives children the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen. Most importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day. 

Listen First and Talk Second-All too often the only time a father speaks to his child is when they are getting in trouble. That's why many a child may cringe when their mother says, "Your father wants to talk with you." Take time and listen to your child's ideas and problems. Listening helps them feel respected and understood. Begin listening and talking with your kids when they are young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. 

Read to Your Child-In a world where television and technology dominates the lives of a child, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their child. A child learns best by doing and reading as well as seeing and hearing. Read to your child when they are very young. When they are older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your child with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of growth. 

Realize a Father's Job Is Never Done-Even after child is grown and ready to leave home they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it’s continued schooling, a new job or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their child as they grow, and perhaps marry and build their own families. 

Respect Your Child's Mother-One of the best things you as a father can do for your child is to respect their mother. If you are married, maybe this goes without saying, but I'll say it just in case; keep your marriage strong and healthy. If you're not married, it's still important to respect and support the mother of your child. A father and mother who respect each other, and let their child know it; provide a secure environment for the child. When child see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel they are also accepted and respected.

Show Affection-A child needs the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and loved by their family. Fathers, get comfortable hugging your child. Showing affection every day is the best way to let your child know that you love them.

Spend Time with Your Child-This is more complicated that is sounds. How a father spends his time tells his child what's important to him. If you always seem too busy for your child, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring a child often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your child. A child grows up so quickly. Missed opportunities are lost forever.

 “Dads are like chocolate chip cookies. They may have chips or be totally nutty, but they are sweet and make the world a better place especially for their children.”  (Hillary Lytle) [i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “10 Ways to Be a Better Dad” by Melissa Steward

·        “Fathers (and Mothers), Do Not Provoke Your Children!” by Tim Chailles

 

If a father has more than one child, substitute the word children for child. This post could also be used for grandfather or great grandfather and grandchildren (or great-grandchildren).

Smiled

“The day that God created Chihuahuas He sat down and smiled.” (Anonymous)

Lolee Boo,

Lola, I noticed you when I started volunteering at my local dog shelter. Volunteers got to walk any dogs in the kennel they chose to.  I don’t remember when I connected with you, but I do know you were the only female Chihuahua mix that became a regular on my walking routine. A dog with my daughter’s name pulled at my heart strings. Those big sad eyes and your shyness (back then) stole my heart. I remember telling and thinking what good dog you were, and that someone should adopt you. (That someone was the Kinker family.)

I had told my wife and daughter all about you. When they got there, they soon decided they want to do more than visit you here. They wanted to make a member of our clan. I don’t remember how soon Allena changed your name to “Lola.” She didn’t think that the two of you having the same name was quite as funny as I did. She gave you the name she chose for herself in Spanish class.

When you came in our canine Chihuahua family had already been established with the brothers (Rosco and Chico). We tried to incorporate in other dogs through the same dog shelter you came from with no luck. This time we brought you in through the back yard. The brothers weren’t happy to see you, but eventually you were added into the pack. I would say that you are the alpha female because the other two dogs follow your lead.

I can’t tell you how happy I am that you chose me to be your human. I know that wherever I am in this house that you are close by watching over me. Years later the true Lola has finally emerged. You are an assertive female, you have no problem leaping to where you need to go, resting in my lap uninvited, being bold in communicating about what you want, choosing when you wish to kiss me, and comforting me with your presence as we both drift off to sleep together. You seem to have a way to calm me when I’m angry just with your presence. I know that I have become a better person because of you. I look forward to us both growing old together.

You Master,

Robert

“When the idea of 'Chopped' surfaced, it was originally meant to be taped at some guy's mansion with him and his crazy Chihuahua. A stuffy fellow in a tuxedo was to host, and the losing chef's dish was then fed to the dog. I am not kidding, I saw it. I think it is genius-twisted, but genius.” (Ted Allen, host of CHOPPED)

 

Collapsing

“After God created the world, He made man and woman.  Then to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor.”  (Bill Kelly)

Dear Mel,

I think one thing that brings us together as friends is our ability to laugh. Were both unique personalities, who are sure in the individuals we are. We also find each other funny at times. I truly believe that if serious people of the world could be locked up in a comedy club for an evening that the laughter might help them out more than pills or counseling. Have you ever noticed that if you can take life humorously (when possible) that the challenges don’t seem that bad.

There are so many TV shows that I enjoy watching not because of their clean content, but because they make me laugh hysterically (until I’m breathless). I always feel refreshed after I watch these shows like I’m now able to deal with whatever life throws my way. Both of us have not had our lives go the way we expected them to.  I find a cheerful attitude (due to humor) has made me a better person than being depressed, and find all the negatives in life. (They are there, but I’m consciously choosing not to find them.)

Does any of this make sense? I do believe that my heavenly Father wants to see me happy. My laughter must be music to His ears. When I become friends with someone, I want them to be happy too. It makes me quite joyful to know that our heavenly Father has big plans for both of us. As long as we both have breath in our bodies, our assignments in this world are vitally needed. I hope your week was filled with all the joy you deserve. I hope to see you in church Sunday.

In Jesus’ Love,

Robert

 If you are cheerful, you feel good. If you are sad, you hurt all over. (Proverbs 17:22, CEV)

“The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes.” (William Davis)

 

Change

“Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.” (Jim Rohn)

Paul was the author of this biblical book to Philemon about his runaway slave, Onesimus.[i]

¹ Paul, a prisoner of Jesus the Anointed One, with our brother Timothy, to you, beloved Philemon, our fellow worker; and ² to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church that gathers in your house. ³ May grace and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus the Anointed surround you.

⁴ I am constantly thanking God for you in my prayers ⁵ because I keep hearing about your love and faith toward our Lord Jesus and all those set apart for His purposes. Here’s what I’ve been praying on your behalf:

⁶ Thank You, Father, for Philemon. I pray that as he goes and tells his story of faith, he would tell everyone so that they will know for certain all the good that comes to those who put their trust in the Anointed One.

⁷ My brother, because you are out there encouraging and reviving the hearts of fellow saints with such love, this brings great joy and comfort to me.

⁸ Although I am bold enough in the Anointed, our Liberating King, to insist you do the right thing, ⁹ instead I choose to appeal to you on account of love. I do this for my own sake since I, Paul, am an old man and am held prisoner because of my service to Jesus the Anointed. ¹⁰ I make this request on behalf of my child, Onesimus,^[a] whom I brought to faith during my time in prison. ¹¹ Before, he was useless to you; but now he is useful to both you and me. ¹² Listen, I am sending my heart back to you as I send him to stand before you, although truly ¹³ I wished to keep him at my side to take your place as my helper while I am bound for the good news. ¹⁴ But I didn’t want to make this decision without asking for your permission. This way, any goodwill on your part wouldn’t be seen as forced, but as your true and free desire.

¹⁵ Maybe this is the reason why he was supposed to be away from you for this time: so that now you will have him back forever— ¹⁶ no longer as a slave, but as more than a slave—as a dear brother. Yes, he is dear to me, but I suspect he will come to mean even more to you, both in the flesh as a servant and in the Lord as a brother.

¹⁷ So if you look upon me as your partner in this mission, then I ask you to open your heart to him as you would welcome me. ¹⁸ And if he has wronged you or owes you anything, charge it to me. ¹⁹ Look, I’ll put it here in my own handwriting: I, Paul, promise to repay you everything. (Should I remind you that you owe me your life?) ²⁰ Indeed, brother, I want you to do me this favor out of obedience to our Lord. It will refresh my heart in Him. ²¹ This letter comes, written with the confidence that you will not only do what I ask, but will also go beyond all I have asked.

²² One more thing: you should get a room ready for me as I hope to be released to you soon in answer to your prayers. ²³ Epaphras (my fellow prisoner in Jesus, the Anointed One) greets you, ²⁴ as well as my fellow workers Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke.

²⁵ May the grace of the Lord Jesus the Anointed be with your spirit. (Philemon, VOICE)[ii]

How does long-lasting, radical life change happen in your life?

Face your sin.

See Philemon 1:12 above

 Doesn’t it make sense that if you sign yourself over as a slave, you will have to obey your master? The question before you is, What will be your master? Will it be sin—which will lead to certain death—or obedience—which will lead to a right and reconciled life? (Romans 6:16, VOICE)

Put your faith in Jesus.

See Philemon 1:10 above

When do these two things happen?

You have a new identity.

 ^{See Philemon 1:16 above}

³ It is like that with us; there was a time when we were like children held under the elemental powers of this world. ⁴ When the right time arrived, God sent His Son into this world (born of a woman, subject to the law) ⁵ to free those who, just like Him, were subject to the law. Ultimately He wanted us all to be adopted as sons and daughters. ⁶ Because you are now part of God’s family, He sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts; and the Spirit calls out, “Abba, Father.” ⁷ You no longer have to live as a slave because you are a child of God. And since you are His child, God guarantees an inheritance is waiting for you. (Galatians 4:3-7, VOICE)

You have a new purpose.

See Philemon 1:11, 13 above

 Therefore, if anyone is united with the Anointed One, that person is a new creation. The old life is gone and see a new life has begun.  (2 Corinthians 5:17, VOICE)

Most people are so busy trying to get somewhere else they never stop and appreciate the MIRACLES all around them. Don't let that be you.”Most people are so busy trying to get somewhere el”Life is about change. “”Life is about change. Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s beautiful. But most the time it’s both.”(Lana Lang)[iii]

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[i] During Roman times, the runaway Onesimus was considered stolen property from his owner, Philemon. Punishment included immediate death upon returning (via crucifixion) or scourging (beyond recognition) and branding of the letter “f” on the forehead of the runaway, which meant “fugitive.”

 

[ii] According to ancient traditions, Onesimus went from being a slave to Bishop of Ephesus having been ordained by the apostles. Because of his newfound Christian faith, he was arrested in Rome and sentenced to death after preaching about celibacy. He was cruelly tortured and then beaten to death.

Onesimus (whose name means “useful” or “profitable”) is also mentioned in Colossians 4:9, which may be proof that he did what was asked of him by Paul. As to whether a repentant Onesimus ever went back to Philemon (knowing what could happen to him), consider this:  If Philemon rejected Paul’s request to accept Onesimus back as a brother (even if he didn’t grant him full emancipation), would this scripture still exist? 

 

[iii] Inspired by the sermon “Now a New Person: Runaway Grace, “(installment one) Sunday July 21, 2019, Pastor Dave Jansen, CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH.

 

Sources used:

·        “Slavery in the Roman Empire” by Spartacus Educational

 

  ·        “Whatever happened to Onesimus, the slave mentioned by St. Paul?” By Philip Kosloski

·        “What Happened to Onesimus?” by Danny

 

 

The Worst

“There’s no harm in hoping for the best as long as you’re prepared for the worst.” (Stephen King)

A Go Bag is a packed case that you grab on your way out the door, and that will help keep you safe and comfortable in the coming hours and days. Stopping to hunt for your medications or other important needs can cost you critical seconds in an evacuation. Pack a separate Go Bag for yourself and every member of your household, and keep them stored in the same location.

Recent natural catastrophes, from hurricanes to western wildfires, are a fresh reminder that disaster can strike at any time. And no area of the country is immune, when you factor in the threat of tornadoes, earthquakes and human disasters like toxic spills. While the circumstances may differ, there’s one tip that every person needs to take from all these situations. It’s how to pack a Go Bag.

Emergency preparation seems to be on everyone's mind whenever inclement weather threatens to hit our corner of the United States. I've always been a person who likes to be prepared, but I'll be honest that getting a Go Bag together has never been a high priority. If disaster strikes, the federal government expects everyone to be self sufficient for at least 3 days (72 hours). In catastrophic circumstances, it might take that long for rescue or help to arrive.

Having enough food and water in the house will be important in an emergency. In the case of a large emergency, there may not be any electricity or gas which means there will be no way to cook or refrigerate your food. Having a large selection of canned, ready-to-eat food will be a huge help. You want to make sure to get canned food that can be eaten directly out of the can and are also calorically dense so items like beans, chili, tuna fish, and canned meat are great items.

My tip is to buy an extra can or two of food when they are on sale. Canned food does have an expiration date so you'll want to check your emergency food stash at least once a year and rotate out items that are nearing their expiration date. Donate or eat those items and remember to replenish your supply. Purchase emergency food rations and emergency water from the American Red Cross which each last 5 years before they expire. Here is what the Red Cross suggests that everybody has in their Go Bag to last at least 72 hours.

Basic Supplies

·        Water: One gallon per person, per day.

·        Food: Non-perishable, easy-to-prepare items

·        Flashlight

·        Extra Batteries

·        First Aid Kit

·        Medications

·        Multi-purpose tool

·        Sanitation and personal hygiene items

·        Copies of personal documents - birth certificates, social security cards, real estate contracts, insurance contracts, bank records and passports, immunization records and any other important personal documents

·        Cell phone with chargers

·        Family and Emergency Contact Information

·        Extra Cash (Small Bills and Coins)

·        Emergency Blanket

·        Maps of the area

·        Hand-Crank Radio

Extras

·        Baby Supplies: formula, diapers, medications

·        Pet Supplies: collar, leash, id, food, carrier and bowl

·        Two-way Radios

·        Manual Can Opener

·        Games and Activities

·        Extra set of car and house keys

·        Whistle

·        Surgical Masks

·        Matches

·        Rain Gear

·        Towels

·        Work Gloves

·        Extra clothing, hat and sturdy shoes

·        Plastic Sheeting

·        Duct Tape

·        Scissors

·        Household Liquid Bleach

·        Entertainment Items

·        Blankets or sleeping bags

·        Tool Kit

·        Trash Bags

·        Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities

·        Baby Wipes

·        Family Plan

 “If “ “ you believe you can accomplish everything by cramming at the eleventh hour, by all means, don’t lift a finger now. But you may think twice about beginning to build your ark once it has already started raining.” (Max Brooks) [i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “A Go Bag Can Make All the Difference in an Emergency” by Jeff Rossen

·        “Prepare yourself and build a 72-hour disaster emergency survival kit” by REBECCA Mongrain

Topic suggested by Bobbi Kinker.