Valuable

“The most valuable lessons aren’t taught. They are experienced.” (Anonymous)

I miss the memorable of the TV show theme songs I grew up with.  The opening credits of a show were always about laying the series groundwork by telling you the background story of what you were about to watch on TV. TV show tune writers were geniuses in giving the show synopsis in small amounts by making the opening of each show part of the viewing experience.

  Memorable series will always hold endearing places in both our hearts and minds. The story lines, characters, and dialogues were unique. Unintentionally, we apply powerful insight to aspects of our daily lives from these beloved shows. Below are five famous TV theme songs that may just help you to know yourself just a  bit better:

1.   “Cheers” Build Relationships with Your Coworkers: The “Cheers” theme song is often ranked as the No. 1 theme song of all time. Why? I think it’s because we all relate to it:

“You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

You wanna go where people know, people are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows your name.”

These lyrics speak to something I call the “Law of Similarity.” People like people like them, and they trust who and what they know. Expand this into the workplace. We learn we must ask questions, delegate, and build relationships with the people we work with.

Tip: You should start the day by asking someone a question about themselves. Only ask if you are actually interested in hearing the answer. It could be as simple as, “What did you do last night?” Take the relationship beyond work to see what shared interest you have and you will see the relationships strengthen.

 

2.   “Different Strokes” Appreciate Our Differences: One of the actors in this show was Gary Coleman. He made this observation about his small height: “My engine may be small, but look out for my steam.” This theme song  teaches having emotional strength  and so much more:

“Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum,

What might be right for you, may not be right for some.

It takes diff’rent strokes to move the world.”

These words remind us to respect individuality. Take it to the workplace and you realize that you need different ways of thinking to come up with the best solutions. We need diverse teams in approach, age, gender, background and mindset.

Tip: Next time you get frustrated working with someone, try shifting your thinking. Instead of being annoyed by their attention to every tiny detail, appreciate that it keeps you from having to deal with them. Then take a moment to tell them what you admire about them. It will reduce the tension and open up more teamwork possibilities.

 

3.   “Facts of Life” Manage Expectations: Whether you are self-employed or in upper management, there are always undesirable parts to any job. As long as there are aspects of your job you like, you are on the right career path.

“You take the good, you take the bad,

You take them both and there you have

The facts of life, the facts of life.”

The biggest takeaway of this song is to manage your expectations. This is the lesson I am trying to make others aware of. Make your expectations realistic to the occasion at hand.

Tip: Communication is important in managing expectations. It can be as simple as letting someone know when you will be able to meet the deadline for a task they assigned you.

 

4.   “Laverne & Shirley” Follow Your Own Path: This theme is suited for the innovator, the entrepreneur, the person who always seems to be going against the grain, or simply the person who feels nothing in life was ever easy. Every line inspires you to keep trying, keep believing in yourself, and to be unique in the way you solve your difficulty.

“Give us any chance, we’ll take it

Read us any rule, we’ll break it

We’re gonna make our dreams come true 

Doin’ it our way…

There is nothing we won’t try

Never heard the word impossible

This time there’s no stopping us. We’re gonna do it.”

These lyrics remind us to trust our gut, take a chance, and be all right with nonconformity. Whether branching out on your own, do what works for you.

Tip: Pay attention to what your inner critic is saying. The majority of self-talk is often negative. If you fall into that trap, imagine the pep talk your best friend would give you. Then change the internal messaging and be your own best friend. Choose your words carefully and rephrase to action-oriented language. In other words, focus on what you can do and not on what is impossible to achieve. 

 

5.   “One Day at a Time” Relax and Enjoy the Journey:

We have all heard this saying. It is the mantra for many to overcome challenges, but I think there is more to this theme song that we can learn. For the high-achieving, controlling personalities, the lyrics explain the need to relax.

“This is life, the one you get so go and have a ball.

This is it. This is it.

Straight ahead and rest assured you can’t be sure at all.

So while you’re here enjoy the view.

Keep on doing what you do

So hold on tight we’ll muddle through

One day at a time, one day at a time.”

Whether it is personal or professional, life can be unpredictable, and that is part of its charm. Life is rarely turns out to be like what we pictured it in our twenties. Find the purpose in what you do even if it just to get you to the next thing.

Tip: At least once a day, slow down long enough for a few deep breaths. Think about one thing you are grateful for and share that with someone else. It is important to be told by someone else that you are appreciated.

 

 “There are life lessons that can be derived from reality television.” (Mike White)[i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “12 Powerful Lessons You Can Learn From Famous TV Shows” by Born Realist

·        “Five Leadership and Life Lessons From Classic TV Theme Songs” by Michelle Tillis Lederman

·        “The 20 Greatest TV Show Theme Songs of All Time” by Awesomely Luvvie

 

The Journey

“Life is a journey that must be traveled no matter how bad the roads and accommodations. “ (Oliver Goldsmith)

Beautiful,

Hi there. I'm sensing you have hit a dead end in your journey. You took the first steps needed to start your journey. That is something to cherish and acknowledge. You also need to realize this voyage is a long one. You will encounter bumps in the road. Some will be physical and some will be mental.

This is all part of changing and learning. It is impossible to be going full speed all the time. You will have periods that you are totally full of motivation and hope. And then there are times you will hit defeat. It's something that is a certainty, and it will happen no matter how strong your willpower. You need to make sure you aren’t interpreting it as a weakness within you.

This life change is exhausting both physically and spiritually, and it takes constant effort. The strength inside of you is what gets you through. It's never weakness that slows us down. It just gets overshadowed by obstacles sometimes, and it’s okay. Guilt is a destructive emotion that demands negativity, and needs self-loathing to live. It will get you nowhere.  When you hit a wall, you find a door. Lean on someone who supports you, lean on yourself. Find inspiration from somewhere.

I know this might sound extreme but make no mistake about it, you are a warrior. You may think that sounds strange, but you are in the fight of your life. You are fighting for a chance to be healthy and happy. It’s a constant fight all throughout your day (365 days a year). You need to take one battle at a time. Some you will win, and some you will lose. That is what’s supposed to happen.

It's unrealistic to think you are going to fly through this journey with no problems. If that were the case, every woman on this planet would be lean and healthy. This is hardcore. At times it will make you cry and feel hopeless. Other times it will make you rejoice, and feel on top of the world. It's an emotional roller coaster. It's a trip not a walk in the park. Stop feeling guilty for being human. Stop feeling guilty for losing your way. Stop feeling guilty. It's a useless emotion that will steer you down the wrong path.

Every hurdle we move past makes us stronger. It makes us surer of ourselves, and teaches us that we can accomplish anything we put our minds to.  Women have a primal urge to fix everything. We put everyone else first, and we justify ignoring our own needs because that's just the way it is supposed to be.

A big lesson you need to learn is that it is not supposed to be like that. We are supposed to take care of ourselves so that we can then be of use to everyone else. It’s wrong to put ourselves last. By doing that we are perpetuating this cycle of self-loathing and self-neglect onto our daughters. Our actions teach them how to behave.  

The best thing we can do for our children is to teach them to love themselves and demand respect not only from others, but from themselves. For those of you who have sons, it is a great gift to bestow upon them a deep respect for women. If you tell them to respect women, but yet don't respect yourself they see that. They absorb that. Why should they listen to you if you don't listen to you?

Show them how amazing and important women are by treating yourself in a loving and respectful way. They will grow up being drawn to strong, intelligent, and loving women. We do this for our children every time they see us working out, eating healthy, taking time for ourselves, and making ourselves a priority. 

Always make sure you take care of yourself. If you don’t, you’ll start to resent all that you do for others and it won’t be meaningful. All these things you do for yourself are a huge message to those around you. If you start respecting yourself, others will start respecting you as well. We show people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

Don’t forget why you started, and keep your dream alive. Take a little time here and there to imagine what your end goal in the future looks like, but don’t live there.  Focus on the present. Live in the present. I want you to find the happiness you deserve. I want you to learn you are worth it. You won’t be able to find contentment in the future, it doesn’t live there. It’s with you in the here and now. Being skinny is not joy. Hitting goal weight is not happiness, but loving yourself is. 

Your weight does not define your beauty. Who you are on the inside (your soul) defines your beauty. You need to accept and believe this. Squeezing yourself into a tiny pair of jeans is nice, but it meaningless to those around you. People like you because of who you are, and not because of your weight. Your weight loss journey is about more than just losing weight. It's about gaining a fuller life. It's about destroying what has shattered you and becoming the very best version of yourself that you.

The low moments are when you learn the most about yourself, and the high moments are when you learn that the low moments are worth it and necessary. Keep going. Give this new life a chance. Don’t give up like you always have. This isn’t a race. This is a slow climb up a very steep mountain.

Each part of the climb gives you what you need to finish the next segment. The lessons you will have learned about life, about the old you, the new you, and the you that you want to be in the future will arm you with the knowledge, power, and will to accomplish any future goals that you’ll set for yourself. You will inspire all of those around you. Because you are a warrior who has already defeated the most dangerous and powerful force on the planet, yourself.

Sincerely,

Gabby             

“To embark on the journey towards your goals and dreams requires bravery. To remain on that path requires courage. The bridge that merges the two is commitment.”  (Steve Maraboli) [i]

 

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[i] Adapted from: “Need Motivation? This Letter Is Addressed To You” by Half of Gabby

 

Silence

“Work hard in silence. Let your success be your noise.”  (Frank Ocean)

No matter what kind of job you have. Workplace struggles are inevitable. Maybe it feels like you and your colleague will never see eye to eye, or you’ve become frustrated by a boss who seems to think you should work for him 24/7. How many Christians work in your office? Maybe they’ve chosen to hide their true identity.

Maybe your office is full of undercover Christians. Are you one of them? As Christians, we have a responsibility to respond to these challenges in ways that make us live out the values personified by Jesus. One of the greatest hindrances to the Bible’s effectiveness is Christians who act one way at church and another way elsewhere.

The way we live for God should permeate all areas of life. The workplace is no exception. The way we act reflects our faith. So if we claim to be Christians, our coworkers, bosses, and employees will equate our attitudes and actions with Jesus. Do those around you at the office see a positive reflection of God in your work ethic?

Even when jobs or coworkers are hard to like, we are to work as though God is our boss. That means doing tasks with joy, a servant attitude, respect for others, diligence, and obedience to those in authority. Imagine what the workplace could be if all believers approached their jobs this way.

It’s important to remember that Christian employees should have both a different level of loyalty to their true Supervisor as well as the intensity in how they perform the parts of their job. Christian employers should have a different level of justice with the employees beneath them. They need to have a love for those subordinates that help them get their job done.

“The speed of the boss is the speed of the team” (Lee Iacocca)

“In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as if you were working for the Lord not for men.” (Colossians 3:23. ICB)

 “Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting.”  (Joel Osteen)[i]

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[i] Inspired by the sermon “Rooted and Built Up: A Built Up Workplace” (installment seven) Sunday July 22, 2018 Pastor Dave Jansen CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH.

Sources used:

·        “How Christians Should Deal With Difficulties in the Workplace” by Sarah Landrum

·        “How Should Christians Act in the Workplace?” by Charles Stanley

·        “Making an Impact in the Workplace” by Lynne Thompson

 

 

 

Awkward

“That awkward moment when you yawn and your eyes get watery and people think you are crying.” (coolnsmart.com)

There has been much speculation as to why people yawn. Hippocrates in 400 B.C. suggested that yawning might be a response to fever. He likened the process to that of steam escaping from a pot of boiling water. Centuries later in 1923, British neurologist Sir Francis Walshe noticed that partially paralyzed patients seem to regain certain motor functions during the few second duration of a yawn. He found certain patients who were unable to flex their fingers could do so when yawning.

Johanna de Vries, an obstetrics professor in Amsterdam, observed that one of the first things humans do, even during the fetal stage, is yawn. Robert Provine, a neuroscientist, indicated that yawning is indeed a spontaneous action and part of our biological programming. We have no control over it.

Yawning is an involuntary process. When you yawn, the thoracic muscles in your chest, your diaphragm, your larynx (in your throat), and the palate of your mouth are all involved. Yawning also helps wet your lung’s air sacs. Air is inhaled, accompanied by a stretching of the eardrums, followed by an exhalation. Extra oxygen is carried to the brain and other parts of the body through the blood, which makes you more alert.

We may yawn before bedtime when we are tired, and the brain starts slowing down. We yawn when we wake up in the morning. It is almost as if this triggers our body to get into “wake up mode”. We also tend to yawn when we get bored, as the brain becomes less stimulated. We often yawn when we see someone else yawn.

There are times when an unexpected yawn can be embarrassing. It gives the impression that you're bored, and that’s not something you want while you're in the middle of an important meeting. Here are a few guidelines to help keep you from yawning at those that you prefer not to:

·        Take a few deep breaths through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

·        Drink a cool beverage. During important moments, keep a cool beverage handy. If you feel the need to yawn, take a sip of ice water.

·        Snack on cool foods such as refrigerated watermelon or cucumber whenever you want to avoid yawning.

·        Keep your environment cool. One reason we yawn is when the brain's temperature is too warm. It’ll help to avoid sitting in a hot environment.

·        Use a cool compress. If you really want to make sure you don't yawn during that important meeting, press a cool compress against your head and hold it there for a minute or two before heading into the meeting. This should keep you cool enough to ward off the yawns until you get back to your desk.

 “If you touch your tongue while yawning, it can stop the yawn.” (WTF Fun Fact #226)[i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “5 Tips to Avoid an Embarrassing Yawn” by Deborah Enos   

·         “Hidden Causes of Excessive Yawning” by: Michael Lam, Justin Lam, and Carrie Lam

 

Lucky

“You know you’re ready to retire when you think getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot.”(Anonymous)

You never plan to forget where you parked your car, but it happens multiple times in a variety of places like shopping malls, airports, sporting arenas, or parking garages. It can be hard to locate your car in a sea of vehicles. Particularly if your car is a common color or design. In those moments of alarm, you swear you're never going to let it happen again.

When you have chores to do and you're in a hurry: the last thing on your mind is making sure to remember where you parked your car. You find the first spot available. Run off to do whatever you need to do. Then when you want to go back to your car, you can’t locate it.  Are you ever upset? There are a few tricks for easily finding your car the next time in a large parking lot.

1.   Park Near a Light Pole or Landmark: When you are searching for a parking spot, don’t just make a beeline for the one closest to the entrance. Be deliberate about where you park, and choose a spot next to a light pole or landmark for reference.  

Many larger parking lots have big, numbered poles scattered throughout, and parking next to one of them can offer you an easy point of reference. If your car has keyless entry and if that keyless entry engages the horn or makes a beep, use it to your advantage - listen for your car. Can’t get a strong signal? Place the key fob at your head to increase the range.

2.   Avoid The Crowds: Not only is it easier to find a parking spot away from the most crowded areas, but it also often means that you will be able to leave the parking lot faster. Crowded areas are more congested when it is time to go home. You will thank yourself later if you avoid them from the start.  

3.   Use Your Smartphone to Plot Your Location: Most smartphones have some form of map technology. You can use these apps to “drop a pin” in your current location before your leave your car. You can save the location of the pin and use it to navigate back to your car later. Certain iPhones (iPhone 6 and later) can remember where your car was parked using location services and Maps, and if drop pins are available, that’s a useful tool as well. There are also free apps available for Android phones that serve the same purpose, but you’ll need to remember to engage with these apps before you close the door and walk away.

4.   Make Your Car Stand  Out: You might have a car in a popular shade of gray or white, but that doesn’t have to be the only defining feature of your vehicle. One surefire way to never lose your car in a parking lot again is to make it truly unique.

You don’t need to add a roof rack, paint it an odd color, or lift it either to get the same effect as a flag of your favorite sports team. Keep one of the small, plastic window mounted flags with you in the trunk and mount it after you park. This will help you find your vehicle faster when you are scanning the rows of similar looking vehicles.

5.   Park Near an Exit: Parking near exits in a parking garage is another great trick you can use. Yes, it will require a bit more walking to where you're headed, but there are usually more free spots near exits, so you can pick one that is near a lamp, a colored pillar or something of the sort.  

The last trick in prevention is to throw a glance to your car while you're leaving it. This will help you remember where it is even if you don't pay conscious attention to it. It allows you to see your car the way you would see it when you come back, not when you're leaving with your back turned to it. It's a simple tip, so start practicing it. By practicing this, it becomes automatic, and it can be a big help.

6.   Calm Down: You've done everything you could to prevent forgetting where you parked your car. Now you can't remember where it is. Fright happens, and you become a sobbing mess. Panicking, cussing, and getting angry won't help you at all. Calm down and let your brain work. Your brain is a great tool even if it forgot where your car is right now. It will help you find your car, but you have to let it function in order, and not chaos. Breathe deeply. Close your eyes if you think that will help. Let the calm overwhelm you. Are you ready to move on?

 

7.   Try To Remember: Were you thinking frantically about where your car is? Were you angry because you forgot it again? It's much easier to remember things when there's order. If you followed the steps so far, you're calm and ready to move on. Instead of trying to remember where your car is just by forcing your brain to remember, be systematic.

You know where you are and why you are there. Remember where you were before you got to where you are. Did you come there straight from home? Did you have something else to do before? Perhaps you went grocery shopping, and then you came to a coffee shop to see a friend. What were you thinking about before you got here? Were you thinking about your grocery list, or other things you have to buy?

Were you thinking about who you have to see, or what you have to do? Now that you know these things, what did you see on your way from your car to where you are now? Maybe there were people in funny clothes. Maybe you saw a bird somewhere, or maybe you saw a weird looking vehicle.

There are countless things you could have seen, but you're the only one who knows what they were. When you remember your state of mind after leaving your car, and things, people or animals you saw on your way, you can think of places where it happened. Maybe those people were near the shopping cart area. Or that bird was sitting on a lamp. This is how you get the cues to help you find where you parked your car.

8.   Retrace Your Steps: You've got your cues, and now is the time to retrace your steps. Follow the cues you remembered, and look for your car.  No one knows your car better than you do. When you were leaving your car to enter the building, maybe you turned left, or right. Now, do the opposite.

     Retrace your steps until you know the approximate area where you parked.  When you know you're somewhere close to it, focus on specific cars. Look at all the cars on your left, look at all the cars on your right, then look at the cars in the neighboring rows. If you still can't find it, ask for help. Usually there are other people there, perhaps even employees of the place you were just visiting. Tell them what color, make and model your car is, and if there are any unique marks on it like that stuffed toy you put in the back of your car. Congratulations, you found your car.

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” (Will Rogers)[i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “How to Find a Parked Car: 5 Steps to Help You Remember Where You Parked Your Car” by Alex Jefferson

·         “How to Find Your Car in a Parking Lot” by Amber Dowler

 

My Brain

“I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself.”  (Anonymous0

You look at your smartphone on your nightstand, and its three hours before you have to get up to get ready for work. You’re tired, awake, and sweating again. You know how the rest of the night’s going to progress. You’ll constantly toss and turn over the next couple hours as you try to find a sleeping position that’s both comfortable and allows for plenty of airflow (to cool you down). Is it time to turn on the fan?

Does the above scenario sound familiar? Do you often wake up during the night drenched in sweat, while your partner next to you seems to be dozing away without a care in the world? This could be the difference between being a hot and cold sleeper. Are you doomed to repeat this cycle for years to come?

Sleep helps our brain (and therefore our emotions) work properly, heals our heart and blood vessels, balances hormones, supports growth and development, helps retain memories, supports immune function, and improves overall efficiency. The less sleep you get, the greater negative impact it will have on your health.

In the end, this means that your surrounding environment plays a huge role in determining body temperature while you slumber. You want to maintain a fine balance between a low enough body temperature that’s conducive to sleep, and one that’s also high enough so you don’t wake up from the cold.

Sleep is a highly complicated—not to mention personal—process, which likely means that the combination of factors causing your excessive heat is unique.  Below are some of the most common that are connected with hot sleepers (male and female):

·        The biggest medical issue for people who sleep hot is menopause. More than 5,000 women enter menopause per day in the US and Canada.

·        Prescription medications like antidepressants and over the counter options like certain aspirin and acetaminophen

·        Low blood sugar related to diabetes

·        Rare conditions like idiopathic hyperhidrosis where the body produces too much sweat

·        Eating disorders, head trauma, and genetic disorders that cause the hypothalamus to malfunction

·        Pregnancy

Here are a few useable helps for a hot sleeper to finally cool down:

1.      Don’t point a fan directly at you as this will create an uncomfortable breeze all night long. Instead, with the air flying over you, your skin will breathe better while you sleep.

 

2.     It’s not always bad to eat before bed, as long as you’re avoiding foods that could be increasing your body temperature and contributing to your hot sleeper problems.

 

These foods include processed and fatty foods (fast food, processed junk food, white bread), caffeinated drinks (it should probably go without saying coffee will not help you sleep), excess sodium, spicy foods (although these can also make you cool down during hot days from sweat evaporation), alcoholic beverages, onions, garlic, and even ice cream (due to the fat content), according to the source.

 

Try to avoid eating large meals at night, so your metabolism doesn’t have to work as hard. Raw fruits and vegetables require less metabolic energy to digest than proteins and fats, so they can make great choices for evening snacks.

3.     People who use traditional body moisturizers at bedtime might be contributing to their hot sleep, and that they should replace them with a “cooling aloe vera product”. This lowers your overall skin temperature, it adds.

 

4.     The colors in your bedroom might be tricking your brain into thinking it’s warmer than it actually is. Warm colors are reds, dark oranges, and in some cases even green or yellow. Try switching to lighter shades of green, blues, browns and gold to create a feeling of coolness in the room.

 

5.     The ideal sleeping temperature is 70 degrees. Sleep in a climate controlled setting that favors cooler rather than warmer temperatures.

 

6.    While the term “hot sleeper” might be difficult to find in a medical manual, there is definitely a lot of buzz attached to the term right now, and ways to alleviate overheating during the night (usually with breathable sheets). Let’s take a closer look at six factors that could be causing you to run hot or cold during the night…

 “When vultures sleep at night, they drop their body temperature.  During the day, they spread their wings to raise their body temperature.” (Harry Harnish)[i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “25 Hot Sleeper Solutions for Sleeping Better” by Derek Lakin

·        “Don’t Sweat These 6 Facts about Hot and Cold Sleepers” by Jeff Hayward