Monday, April 30, 2018

One

“One smile can start a friendship. One word can end a fight. One look can save a relationship. One person can change your life.” (purelovequotes.com)

Couples argue. It's inevitable. And if you're one of those people who say, "We never fight," you're most likely either in the blissful bubble of a new relationship or there may be some larger underlying problems causing one or both parties to not push back. The way you fight is far more important than what you fight about.

Most of us have learned how to argue, and get our point across. We have watched the people around us, and have developed our own style and way of disagreeing. Families and support systems can play a part in the development of arguing style. Most of us were not taught specifically how to engage in conflicts with others in a productive manner. It may seem difficult at first to curb your behavior. These are only a few of the many tips with relational communication that can cause individuals to emotionally flourish rather than to erode:

1.   No name calling Using name-calling, profanity and negative labels cannot is not allowed. If you make these words off-limits during an argument, it cuts down on hurt feelings that are harder to fix later. 

This may be difficult at first and may leave you feeling like you do not have any defense, but it helps with cutting back on the erosion of the relationship while trying to communicate with each other.

2.   No time traveling:  Try to stay in the present and resist the temptation to bring up other issues from the past, either mentioned or unmentioned. Bringing up the past distracts from the current issue and also interferes with the possibility of solving the current issue.

 If you get off-topic, try to stop and get back on track. If you do find yourself bringing up issues from the past, it is likely because those issues were never resolved in the first place. Moving forward, try to resolve issues in the present.

 
3.   No yelling (raising your voice): Yelling can be subjective. What may seem like yelling to one person may not be yelling to you and perhaps you are not tuned in to how you sound? Possibly you grew up in a family where loud fighting was considered passionate and a good thing.

Your spouse’s experience is the one that counts and if it feels like yelling to your spouse then it is important to pay attention to it.  The quality of communication depends on how it is landing with the other person. If you do not lower your voice, then it can interfere with the communication process.

 
4.   Use “I” Statements: An “I” statement is one of how “you” feel when something happens. The statement is meant to avoid assigning blame, and not accuse.  An example of an “I” message might be, “I felt very hurt when I wasn’t asked about my new job. I was looking forward to talking about it with you.”

 
5.   Use time outs if needed : When a disagreement gets heated, all perspective is lost. Neither party is able to think in a logical manner. The situation is not solved in a productive manner. Time-outs can be useful in these situations. They are not to be used as control or as a way to get back at your partner.

They should be used as a time to try to cool-off and gain perspective. If your thoughts continue to swirl and spin about the issue, try some deep breathing and coping skills to distract from the argument in your head. Time-outs can lead to more successful and fairer fighting. (Time outs are not just for children.)

 “Make no mistake: Satan’s specialty is psychological warfare. If he can turn us on God (“It’s not fair!”), or turn us on others (“It’s their fault!”), or turn us on ourselves (“I’m so stupid!”), we won’t turn on him. If we keep fighting within ourselves and losing our own inner battles, we’ll never have the strength to stand up and fight our true enemy.” (Beth Moore)[i]



[i] Sources used:
·        “5 Tips to Fight Fair in Your Relationship” by Ravelle Worthington
·        “Relationship-Saver: 5 Ways to Fight Fair” by Jessica O. Hunter

 

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Creation

Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about discovering who God created you to be. “ (Evan Carmichael)

"Who are you?" Would your response include your name, age, your hobbies, or the city and state where you currently live? Your personal identity is often shaped by your early experiences in life. Maybe your parents said things to you as a child that were abusive, and made you feel worthless as God’s precious child.

Personal identity is one of the most important things to understand about ourselves. All these external things may be a part of you, but they aren’t your personal identification. They may be facts about who you are today. Ten years from now, many of your responses will be different. Knowing who we are means understanding what motivates us, what causes us laughter, brings us true joy, how we deal with conflicts, and even who we choose as friends.

Would you consider yourself a masterpiece as the dictionary defines it: as “something made or done with great skill.” Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) says, “For we are God’s masterpiece, He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”    You are your Heavenly Father’s masterpiece. It’s in Him that your true identity is discovered. The Almighty understands your true worth. Remember, you are not the label others assign you. You are who your Heavenly Father says you are.

1.   You are not the sins of your past mistakes. You are the righteousness of Christ:

“Whoever is a believer in Christ is a new creation. The old way of living has disappeared. A new way of living has come into existence.”  (2 Corinthians 5:17, GW)

“I would rather surround myself with people who make a lot of mistakes and have no problem admitting them, than surround myself with people who think they make none. “ (fb/The Idealist)

2.   You are not your past roles. You are an ambassador for Christ:.

“I was circumcised on the eighth day. I’m a descendant of Israel. I’m from the tribe of Benjamin. I’m a pure-blooded Hebrew. When it comes to following Jewish laws, I was a Pharisee. When it comes to being enthusiastic, I was a persecutor of the church. When it comes to winning God’s approval by obeying Jewish laws, I was perfect.  These things that I once considered valuable, I now consider worthless for Christ.

( It’s far more than that! I consider everything else worthless because I’m much better off knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. It’s because of him that I think of everything as worthless. I threw it all away in order to gain Christ and to have a relationship with him. This means that I didn’t receive God’s approval by obeying his laws. The opposite is true! I have God’s approval through faith in Christ. This is the approval that comes from God and is based on faith. “(Philippians 3:5-9, Paul, GW)

“To be an ambassador for Christ means to invite everyone to a personal encounter with Jesus.” (Pope Francis)

“Religion: ‘My identity is built on being a good person.’ Gospel: ‘My identity is not built on my record or my performance, but on Christ’s.’” (Timothy Keller)[i]



[i] Inspired by the sermon “Living Confidently in Your Identity” (installment four) Sunday April 22, 2018 Pastor Dave Jansen CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH.
Additional sources used:
·        “Finding My Identity in Christ” - by Joyce Meyer
·        “Masterpiece” by the Cambridge Dictionary

·        “What Is My Identity in Christ?” by 412teens .org

 
 

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Deprivation

When God makes you wait for something, it’s not His way of depriving you, but rather His means of changing you.” (David Qaoud)

 No one likes to wait especially in our present culture where we measure everything on the basis of response time. Most everything comes to us instantly whether it is food or information. While most of us feel the need to rush, God is not in hurry. Waiting means that someone else is in control. Not having control is almost a foreign concept in our society when you can almost have anything you want, at any time.

Waiting is part of what it means to be human. As humans, we have limitations. God knows all things, sees all things, controls all things, understands all things, discerns all things, and possesses all things. Being human, we cannot know the hearts of people. We seldom know our own hearts.

God has a plan and a purpose that is not always on the same timeline that we want. There are details hidden from us to develop our character, our faith, or our dependence upon Him. Our Heavenly Father wants to keep us constantly waiting so that we will be dependent upon Him no matter the circumstance. We will always be waiting on someone or some situation. That's life. Waiting is a Christian discipline. We are not naturally wired or inclined to wait. Waiting is…

·        As much an attitude as it is an activity.

·        Never wasted time. When you are waiting on God, most often He is working behind the scenes to put all the "missing pieces" in our lives in place

·        Not characterized by fretting and worrying.

·        Not passivity or inactivity.

·        Not to be associated with boredom and complacency.

If impatience tempts you to jump ahead of the Lord’s timing, you risk stepping outside of His will and missing His blessings.  Do you know how to wait on the Lord? Here are reasons why your Heavenly Father may make you wait.



1.   He is building dependence on Him:  When we are in an unhealthy condition either physically or emotionally, we tend to lack patience when it comes to our circumstances. We also begin to look for thrills in life. In our physical life, it leads to obsessions and to destruction; and in our spiritual life, it will result in the destruction of us morally. Having the reality of God’s presence is not dependent on our determinations to keep the Lord before us continually.  


 

2.   He is building patience in your life: Waiting on God means patiently looking to Him for what we need. Only our Heavenly Father can deliver us. Our only hope is in God alone. He hears our prayers. Our prayers often revolve around asking God to hurry up and bless what we want done. What if God’s answer to us is simply: “Be patient. Wait upon me”?  We can trust His response, even if it doesn’t come in the time we expect.  


 

3.   He is strengthening you  spiritually: Waiting helps strengthen us spiritually. By the mere term “spiritual strengthening” two things might be suggested to us. Sometimes the Lord has to work to accomplish in us before we are ready to handle what He’s planned for our future. If we instantly received His direction, we would rarely have the opportunity two exercise our faith. Christian maturity becomes evident in the ability to wait in peaceful confidence. We’ll know exactly what to do when we trust in His timing.


 

4.   He is transforming your character: Waiting builds and transforms our character. Moses became a great leader in his time and God worked through him to bring about many miracles for the children of Israel. Of course he had to go through a long period of processing in the desert for 40 years before God came to him. We know that when he was a young man, he was brash and impatient. Yet, when he was given a second chance, he opted to do it God’s way and in God’s time. Waiting has a way of humbling us and to rub off the tough edges of our lives so that the true Christ like character is revealed in us.


 

5.   He wants to get your attention: At times, God may be trying to speak to you about a certain situation in your life. When everything is running smoothly, we tend to forget the Lord. But uncertainty draws us back to Him like a magnet. By aligning our steps with His and walking in submission, we open our ears to hear His voice. Our waiting period is God’s preparation time. He may put us on hold to coordinate events to line up with His will.


“Men trust God by risking rejection. Women trust God by waiting.”  (Carolyn McCulley)[i]



[i] Sources used:

·        “5 Reasons God Makes Us Wait” by Terry LaMasters

·        “5 Reasons Why God Makes You Wait” by Lesli White

·        Waiting Time is Not Wasted Time In the Presence of God” by Vangrace Compassion

·        “Waiting Time Is Not Wasted Time” by Ray Noah
 

Friday, April 27, 2018

Something

“The best feeling in the world is knowing your presence and absence both mean something to someone.” (Anonymous)

The most challenging friendship you will ever have is to truly know who you are inside. Your life will be filled with emotional ups and downs, transitions, challenges, and triumphs. We will learn from our experiences so that our lives will be better, healthier, and more meaningful.   Having an intimate friendship with another person is perhaps the second-most-challenging friendship any of us will ever have. Not only are we being asked to keep up the work of making sure we live our own life to its fullest potential. We are now challenged to incorporate another human being into a friendship.

You can imagine how complex and difficult it is to create an experience that is healthy, honest, respectful, inclusive, joyful, and loving, and that values and promotes individual expression and personal growth for both friends. Although intimacy, friendship, familiarity, connection, and safety are hallmarks of a successful friendship, Our friendships are precious to us, and deserve all the care we can give the. Below are ways to keep them protected for many years:

1.   You are able to let things go and move on: Life is all about change and transition. Nothing stays still or the same, as much as we may sometimes want it to because it makes us feel more secure and safe. Inevitably, the twists and turns of life will find their way into each and every friendship, and as friends, we need to find a way through to the next part of the journey.

 Although we may be disappointed, frustrated, or even traumatized by what life has thrown at us, a loving, healthy friendship teaches us that by standing together and moving forward together we will successfully reach what waits for us on the other side. Unity provides strength and balance.

2.   You share major life decisions and choices: Problems will inevitably arise during a friendship, but no one friend should call all or most of the shots. Rather than feel frustrated and angry when problems arise; it’s important to keep in mind that part of the commitment to a friendship is getting over your personal feelings and expectations in order to work out a solution that's in the best interest of both friends.

 In fact, it often takes two to get the right compromise, the right balance, drawing upon each person’s previous knowledge, experience, and wisdom. Learning how to give and take is an important process in problem-solving. But above all, each friend should contribute equally to making major decisions and choices. 

3.   You trust each other without question: Trust means that you believe that your friend has what it takes to weather the storms of life and come through them standing by your side. Trust implies the unshakable confidence that no matter what happens, your friend will remain loyal to you and the friendship will honor their commitments, will not lie, and will remain open to working out whatever difficulties arise. 

 
4.   You share like or similar values: Ideally, you’re on the same page about key life issues, family values, religious and spiritual life, even politics. Having a similar way of looking at life creates a shorthand way to relate to each on important issues. That’s not to say that people from different backgrounds, cultures, religions, and ideologies can’t be your friend. These differences may take more time to understand and work out, but that’s totally possible when friends value each other enough to make the friendship work.

 
5.   You encourage healthy communication and dialogue:  You feel free and comfortable to say what’s on your mind. It should not be expected that you and your friend will agree on everything, so it’s essential to keep your communication straightforward and honest—not critical or judgmental, and not shaming or blaming. You really “listen” to what your friend is saying, not just the words, but the way they express their emotions and feelings, and their behaviors and actions.

6.   You value and respect each other’s individuality and boundaries:  We are all different. Our individual differences should never be seen as being “less than” someone else’s, but as opportunities to gain a new perspective. A healthy friendship nurtures and embraces each of our special qualities. Be wary of friendships that attempt to control you; that try to squash your individuality because it threatens a friend when you don’t see things their way; or that put you down because are too independent.

Be wary of a friend who tries to make you be just like them because that is the only way they are comfortable in a friendship.  In a healthy friendship you respect your friend’s boundaries. You give each other the space you need away from the friendship to be alone and to pursue your own interests.

7.   You participate in each other’s learning and growthEach of us is a mirror for the other. We learn from the feelings and behaviors of our friends. Gaining new perspectives through other’s lives enhances the quality of our own. A friendship is a win-win situation. Our friends interests may serve as fertile ground for our own new learning and growth. As our friends grows so do we. 

 “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”  (Donald Miller)[i]




[i] Adapted from: “The 7 Signs That You've Found Yourself a Loving Friendship” by Abigail Brenner

 

Thursday, April 26, 2018

My Heart

“You left and forgot to tell my heart how to live without you.” (Anonymous)

When Jesus’ second coming to Earth occurs as He takes His true children to Heaven, what will happen to all of the pets that are left as their owners unexpectedly vanish? As you are enjoying the pleasures of Heaven, what kind of atrocities might your beloved pets being experiencing without some kind of direct human intervention.

Though the verses describing the events of the rapture are recorded below, there is no mention as to how it will affect our animals. One can only imagine the horrifying things that could occur:

·        “No one knows the day or hour. The angels in Heaven don’t know, and the Son himself doesn’t know. Only the Father knows.” (Matthew 24:36, CEV)

 
·        With a loud command and with the shout of the chief angel and a blast of God’s trumpet, the Lord will return from heaven. Then those who had faith in Christ before they died will be raised to life. Next, all of us who are still alive will be taken up into the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the sky. From that time on we will all be with the Lord forever.” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17, CEV)

The early roots of the After the Rapture Pet Care began in England as a joke from an atheist on the Internet that said she’d take care of Christian-owned pets after the rapture, and asked for 70 pounds $98) as a donation. It went viral with non-believers who enjoyed laughing at Christians.

The American version of the After the Rapture Pet Care began In the fall of 2009 with a woman named Sharon. A non-believer friend of hers named Carol brought up a question: “Hey, if you get raptured, what happens to Frankie?”

It was an excellent question that didn’t have an answer. Little did Carol know that I would obsess about this. A couple weeks later Carol came back and suggested we start the After the Rapture Pet Care together. She said she had asked several Christian friends the same question she’d asked me, and every one of them would pay for a service to ensure the care of their pets after the rapture.

I asked some fellow Christians their thoughts. In every case they wished there was a way to prepare for their pets’ survival. The key was, it had to be a legitimate service run by sincere people, not the Atheist-run joke sites that appear from time to time online. Carol and I were the perfect team for this mission.

While planning our system, we thought about the stories of pet rescues in New Orleans after Katrina. Imagine how many more pets would have been saved if there had been a database of pets and volunteers activated immediately. This is something we could do for Christian owned pets.

With the decision made to create this service, Carol began recruiting other non-Christian animal lovers nationwide to volunteer to take care of left-behind pets when the rapture occurs. As a Christian, my role has been to put together a program that is biblically appropriate and provides true value to Christians. I believe we’ve come up with a plan that is affordable, unique, biblical, and practical.

Most Pet Caretakers are atheist (or another non-Christian religion), are animals lovers that register in our After the Rapture Pet Care Google database even though they do not believe in the rapture, are volunteers that have agreed to care for the pets they rescue as their own, which includes being financially responsible for them. Pet Caretakers are matched by location and the types of pets they wish to care for.

Volunteers are non-believers that are not interested in someone trying to convert them. God loves your pets  by putting them into your care, and expecting you to take care of them. Expecting God to deal with your responsibility at death or the rapture is no different than waiting for God to feed your pets.  For $10, you can register up to three pets for volunteer to look after.

This is what will happen for all pets registered with After the Rapture Pet Care immediately after the rapture:
1.   Our non-Christian administrators will activate our rescue plan.
 
2.   Volunteers will be alerted immediately by email and telephone that they have been activated.
 
3.   Rapture-abandoned pets are connected to location and animal type.. Our administrators and Volunteer Pet Caretakers will do whatever it takes to find and rescue your pets. If your pet has a location chip, they’ll use that, or they’ll go to every location you’ve registered with us, and, if your pets are not at one of those locations, they’ll search for your cars as well as stay in contact with the local pet shelters.
If they are unable to reach a Volunteer Pet Caretaker in your area for whatever reason, our administrators will communicate with local animal organizations, like the Humane Society, to advocate for your pet’s rescue and care.
4.   Our administrators will stay in touch with our Volunteer Pet Caretakers regarding each and every pet to be sure everything is being done to rescue and care for them.

“The saddest moment is when the one who gave you the best memories becomes a memory.”  (Deborah Bachand)[i]



[i] Sources used:
·        “Frequently Asked Questions” by After the Rapture Pet Care

·        “Is After the Rapture Pet Care a Joke?” by Admin

·        “Rapture Pet Care Takes Care of Your Pets after the Apocalypse” by Colton

·        http://www.postrapturepetcare.com
 
I wonder what will happen to my three Chihuahuas (Chico, Rosco, and Lola) if they are living after the rapture? This post gives me some measure of peace. (I am unsure if this service is still available).

For more information on this time period, I suggest you read (or listen) to the LEFT BEHIND series (prequel, adult, teen) by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye or view the 2014 "Left Behind" movie starring Nicholas Cage.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Difficulties

“We have to pray with our eyes on God not on the difficulties.” (Oswald Chambers)

Prayer is the primary means of developing a relationship with God. We come to know God by hearing His Word in scripture and by conversing with Him in prayer. The whole point of prayer is to be with God in an intimate way. There are many people who have given prayer an honest try and become frustrated with it because they don’t experience something. What is the purpose of prayer, and what should happen?

 Do you expect to feel physical sensations?  Do you anticipate hearing from God? Do you want to have clarity with all of your problems?  Are you being unrealistic expectations about prayer? These are all important questions that need answers. Prayer is the answer to all of the above questions with how it can benefit your life. Read the lyrics to Tauren Wellssong, “When We Pray,”  to gain clarity to better understand my point.
Bottom of Form
People hurting, people broken
Beaten down and feeling hopeless
Wonder if it’s gonna always be this way
Who will speak up for the captive
Show some love and heal a past that
Binds the wounds we think will never go away

But what if we could be a people on our knees
As one before the King
'Cause we believe

All the world starts changing
When the church starts praying
Strongholds start to break
Oh, when we pray
Prison walls start shaking
At the sound of praising
Nothing stays the same
When we pray

I see revival rising
I see hope on the horizon
As a generation stepping out in faith

Because we will be a people on our knees
As one before the King
Yeah we believe

Let Your kingdom come, Lord
Let Your will be done

All the world starts changing
When the church starts praying
Strongholds start to break
Oh, when we pray
All the world starts changing
When the church starts praying
Strongholds start to break
Oh, when we pray
Prison walls start shaking
At the sound of praising
Nothing stays the same
Oh, when we pray, oh
When we pray, oh

In Jesus name (when we pray)
In Jesus name (when we pray)
When we pray, oh
When we pray

Christians will tell you that prayer is an important part of their faith that should be done on a regular basis. Prayer can be the key to a close connection with the Heavenly Father.  Prayer can be ineffective for two reasons:

1.   Prayer is a waste if you aren’t honest with God


“When you pray, there is no need to repeat empty phrases, praying like those who don’t know God, for they expect God to hear them because of their many words.(Matthew 6:7, TPT)

When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, He first told them what not to do. He pointed out the ineffective prayer life of the religious leaders and how they used lofty phrases and special words when they prayed.

Although they were trying to sound spiritual, the opposite took place. Not only were they not spiritual, but God was not interested and when God isn’t interested prayer is a waste of time. Jesus emphasized that prayer needs to be a private personal time with God, without all the trappings of religiosity or spiritual piety.

“But when you pray, you should go into your room and close the door. Then pray to your Father. He is there in that private place. He can see what is done in private, and he will reward you.” (Matthew 6:6 ERV)

God is available for a heartfelt private conversation with you. Prayer is not to be comprised of religious platitudes or spiritual formulas. It’s about having an honest, transparent, and authentic discussion with God. Remember God loves you and wants to have a personal relationship with you and prayer is a great way to accomplish that. But if you’re not going to be honest or play religious games, don’t waste your time praying.

2.   Prayer is a waste if aren’t listening to God


So this is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in Heaven, we pray that your name will always be kept holy. (Matthew 6:9, ERV)

During the same discussion about prayer, Jesus also gave His disciples an important truth about asking for God’s “will to be done”. He was telling them to be open to God’s leading when they are praying. Don’t just pray for your agenda, but be willing to get on board with God’s agenda. This requires being quiet and listening to God during prayer, because if you’re talking you’re not listening.

This is often overlooked when we pray because we typically use the “dump and run” approach and ask God for what we want and then we are done. As a result, prayer becomes a one-way conversation, rather than a back and forth time with the Lord, and we aren’t listening to what He wants to teach us.

When you stop and think about prayer, it is for us and not God. Since God is sovereign, He already has a will, He already knows what you’re going through, and He doesn’t need you to bring Him up to speed. For us, we don’t know God’s will. We don’t know the next steps to take. We don’t know what He wants to teach us. It’s critical we are listening when we pray in order to learn, grow, and gain wisdom.

So when you pray, don’t waste your time by doing all the talking and asking God to accomplish your will. Instead, ask for His wisdom, understanding, and will to be done, and then allow some quiet time for Him to respond. You will be amazed by what He will show you when you are quiet and listen with an open heart.

“Prayer should be the key of the day and the lock of the night. “(George Herbert)[i]

Tauren Wells

YouTube video of song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YZZzgJB33E
 


[i] Sources used:

·        “2 Reasons Why Prayer is a Waste of Time” by

·        “Prayer: A Waste of Time?” by Chris
Dedicated to my wife, Bobbi
 

Everything

  “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” (Saint Augustine) It shouldn’t be surprising th...