Who’s the Boss?

In times of suffering, some of us can relate to King David’s emotions (or some variation of them) as expressed in Psalms 13:1:

“Long enough, God -
    you’ve ignored me long enough.
I’ve looked at the back of your head
    long enough. Long enough
I’ve carried this ton of trouble,
    lived with a stomach full of pain.”

From experience, I know that serious illness (as a subset of the above) swiftly communicates to the one experiencing the sickness just who holds the ultimate control over the eventual outcome of their health issue (Deuteronomy 30:15).

In a peculiar way the death (of a loved one) often confirms the preciousness of life. Loss can help the living to better appreciate each other, marry patience and love together, and realize what’s really important (and what is rubbish).  

Biblical scholar, A.W. Tolzer, is credited for this insightful comment, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

Do you view God as a loving Heavenly Father, a strict Authoritarian (waiting punish you when goof up), or somewhere in the middle of these two points?

Your Creator (and Savior) is aware of your imperfections. He is the only One who can give you the help to turn them into blessings (Isaiah 43:11). You can trust God when you understand His character. When others see divine change in you, God’s love will become irresistible. It may make them aware of how badly they want the joy that is so evident in you (I John 4:8).

With His character qualities of wisdom, authority, holiness, faithfulness, mercy, goodness, graciousness, love, eternality, sameness, omniscience (all-knowing), omnipotence (all-powerful), and omnipresent (everywhere); you can be assured that God has all the tools needed to turn your weak efforts (for good) into something truly spectacular.

Prayer, Bible study, self-help books, and fellowshipping with others (via church) can aid in reaching this goal. Ultimately, how well do you know your Heavenly Father? Are you casual acquaintances or the best of friends?

A worldview is the framework in which someone views the reality of their world. Where does the Almighty fit into this equation for you? Is He an extra or a major performer in the drama of your life?

The more time you spend personally communicating with someone; it’s logical that you’ll get to know them better. The same holds true in a relationship with God. In any endeavor, you get out of it what you put into it. Where do you stand?

*Inspired from the sermon “We Believe: One True God,” by Rev. Matthew Morgan, MA, LPC, February 28, 2016, Eastside Community Church, Gahanna, OH

More Confused (Than Normal)

When I saw the following post (you will soon read) from my wife (Bobbi) on my Facebook page, I assumed she had written it. (I found later from her that it was actually a repost from someone else.)

 I was uncertain and a bit concerned (as were other friends and family members on Facebook) as to whether this was a new revelation about herself, or a reflection on me (her husband) or her late father (Donald McFarlen) and our mutual commonality.

Don and I both had two things in common. We are the most important men in her life. We’d inadvertently caused Bobbi sadness and fear. Speaking in her father’s place, she means the world to both of us.

“With a broken heart and tears in my eyes, I can honestly say this is by far the most difficult time ever. I know what cancer and treatment can do to a body and mind as I've watched this transformation.

I sometimes wonder if the treatment is worth it in the long haul. It seems to do more harm than good. Nothing is more painful than watching someone at the end of their life because of cancer. Trying to smile and remain positive, but after chemo and radiation, you know the person is physically changed and they suffer with this sadness…

For all the men and women I know, I ask you a small favor…If you know someone who has led a battle against cancer, still struggling or who passed, [take a moment to recall a positive memory of them]…Thank you!”

If you are experiencing any kind of sorrow, Psalms 34:18 (MSG) is a scriptural promise you can cling to in times of despair. “If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.”

Remember, our loving Father always heals those who are physically ill. God can do that here on Earth, or choose to do that in Heaven. It is completely His decision.

If you are open to it, God can even use your suffering as a means to honor (and glorify) Him (Job 1:8, 22; John 11:4). Psalms 59:17 (ERV) provides another enduring guarantee to grasp onto through both good and bad times. You, God, are my place of safety. You are the God who loves me!”

Broken Vows

Anyone familiar with the book of Hosea (from the Bible) realize the faulty marital relationship between Hosea and his unfaithful wife, Gomer, is also a spiritual analogy  of the Heavenly Father’s unconditional love for His flawed children. For a skillfully-crafted updated fictional version of this story, I highly suggest you read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.

Both spiritual and physical adultery are considered dangerous (as depicted in the book of Hosea). Below are their similarities and dangers:

o  Both types of adultery are a sin against God. Being aware of breaking God’s rules, leads to a hardened heart and a strained relationship with the Almighty.

o  Both of these breakdowns in the communication process (with God or a spouse) start with disappointment or dissatisfaction in an already fragile relationship (whether that is real or imagined).

Don’t give up on reconciliation when you feel you have once again disappointed your spouse (or God). This feeling of rejection is normal. Work through this process until you get the results you desire.

o  A parallel between both forms of adultery begin with affection being diverted from one object of devotion to another. This process can lead to sin (without being fully aware of it).

o  Both of these issues involve relationship deterioration of some kind. It’s not an act of impulsiveness. It may not be recognized until it’s too late.

o  There is often a mental fantasy created about what a new object of your love can do for you. These desires often lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment in current (and future) relationships.

Then God ordered me, “Start all over: Love your wife again, your wife who’s in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife. Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people, even as they flirt and party with every God that takes their fancy.” Hosea 3:1 (MSG)

Though this verse is blunt, it makes an excellent point (as all scripture does). How many times do we put other things ahead of God? Our idols might include work, our family, TV, writing (ouch), sex, sports, and the list goes on. You think of more.

The Almighty often gets our leftovers of devotion (or physical energy). Who’s in the driver’s seat of your life? Was Carrie Underwood correct when she sang, “Jesus, Take the Wheel”? If you make Jesus the back seat driver of your life, who’s to blame when things get all messed up? Think about that, and do what needs to be done. 

*Adapted from the article, “Spiritual Unfaithfulness” from The Life Application Bible, New International Version edition.

Calling 911 (for Help)

If you are a regular reader of Encourage Me, my prayer is that I have managed to show you how relevant the scripture is to your life today. Whatever solutions you need the Bible is the answer. An Internet tool like www.biblegateway.com can help you immensely in searching for what you need.

Did you know the book of Psalms covers a variety of topics that are critical to your world today? Below is a partial topical list (and where it’s found in the book of Psalms). Have fun in discovering what you find.

1.   Anxious-4

2.   Burned Out-6, 63

3.   Confused-10, 12, 73

4.   Criticism-35, 56, 120

5.   Death-6, 71, 90

6.   Depressed-27, 34, 42, 43, 88, 143

7.   Discrimination-54

8.   Doubts-34, 37, 94

9.   Fearful-3, 4, 27, 46, 49, 56, 91 118

10.  Forgiveness-32, 38, 40, 51, 69, 86, 103

11.  Healing-6, 41

12.   Impatient-13, 27, 37, 40

13.   Joy-9, 16, 26, 126

14.    Leadership-72

15.    Money-15, 16, 17, 49

16.   Old Age-71, 92

17.    Self- Esteem-24

18.    Success-18, 112, 127, 128

19.  Unfocused-14, 25, 39, 49, 90

20.    Worried-37

Be bold, and ask your Heavenly Father to answer your request (whatever it might be). What have you got to lose? Maybe your request will be His choice to answer. Dig into your Bible like you’re a prospector mining for jewels (or gems). (After all, what’s more valuable than God’s perspective on your reality?) Be sure to get with the Almighty’s plans very soon.

*Adapted from the article, “Where to Get Help in the Book of Psalms” from The Life Application Bible, New International Version edition.

From Ordinary to Extraordinary

Have you ever known (or heard of) an average person who has had challenging circumstances thrust upon them, and risen to the occasion. I need not provide you with modern day examples because I’m certain some are coming to mind as you read my post.

The Bible is full of ordinary people that did extraordinary deeds for God (and others). Here is a partial list of these individuals for you to be inspired by.

1.   Jacob, known as a “deceiver,” was to be the father of the Israelite nation (Genesis 27).

2.   Joseph, a slave, was to save his family (Genesis 39).

3.   Moses, a shepherd in exile and a murderer, was to lead the Israelites out of bondage and onto the Promised Land (Exodus 3).

4.   Gideon, a farmer, was to deliver Israel from Midian (Judges 6:11).

5.   Jephthah, the son of a prostitute, was to deliver Israel from the Ammonites (Judges 1:1).

6.   Hannah, a housewife, was to be the mother of Samuel the prophet (I Samuel 1).

7.   David, a shepherd boy and the last-born of his family, was to be Israel’s greatest king (I Samuel 16).

8.   Ezra, a scribe, was to lead the return to Judah, and write some of the Bible (Ezra, Nehemiah).

9.   Esther, a slave girl turned queen, was to save the Jewish nation from total annihilation (Esther).

10.         Mary, a peasant girl, was to be the mother of Jesus (Luke 1:27-38).

11.         Matthew, a tax collector, was to be an apostle and gospel writer (Matthew 9:9).

12.         Luke, a Greek physician, was to be the companion of Paul and a gospel writer (Colossians 4:14).

13.         Peter, a fisherman, was to be an apostle, a leader of the early church, and a writer of two New Testament letters (Matthew 4:18-20).

The Almighty uses all sorts of people (like you and me) to do His work. He answers our prayers as He sees fit even when we are unsure of what we are asking for (Romans 8:26).

Allow Him to turn you into the masterpiece He wants (and needs) you to become. With your Heavenly Father in charge of your future, there’s no telling  all that you can become.

*Adapted from the article, “God Uses Common People” from The Life Application Bible, New International Version edition.

Misery Loves Company

Job was a man that understood all about life’s unexpected challenges. In a brief period of time, he lost all his children, his job, his health, and his wife wanted him to turn on God (Job 2:9).

The Message our hero’s health issue condition in Job 2:7-8 “Satan … struck Job with terrible sores…ulcers and scabs from head to foot. They itched and oozed…” In the past week or so, I’ve been relating to this inhabitant of the land of Uz in a small way.

When I tried out several pain relieving topical agents on my left knee to relieve pain, something else happened instead. Instead of my discomfort vanishing, an inflamed red rash came to visit instead (see picture).

Urgent care increased the occasional Ibuprofen to a consistent regular 2400mg (three 800 mg tablet daily) and a hydrocortisone cream was prescribed twice a day to heal and decrease the itching (which is still present occasionally). The good news is that all that Ibuprofen is keeping my arthritic knee from aching so much.

My little rash was only a small thing compared to what Job experienced. I can’t imagine the wound mess and the insatiable desire to want to scratch everywhere. There couldn’t have been any part of his body that wasn’t hurting.

God may not choose to give you the answers to your suffering. (Read chapters 40-41 of this book of the Bible. God never explained his reasons to Job for His actions.) Instead, the Heavenly Father wishes you to do exactly what Luke 21:36 (MSG) says to do: “Pray constantly that you will have the strength and wits to make it through everything that’s coming and end up on your feet…”



A big itchy ouch

Helpful or Harmful

Suffering can be a great deal like owning a pet. There will be those days when your pet will anticipate your every need, and obey your commands perfectly. Of course, at other times your pet may decide to assert their individuality, and do whatever they want as they totally ignore you, the owner.

Suffering is similar to the above illustration. You rarely have any power in preventing it from happening. The attitude you possess as you move through this process is the only thing you have any control over.

During suffering…

1.   Individuals can turn to God for understanding, endurance, and deliverance; or instead they can become hardened and reject divine assistance.

2.   Individuals can ask important questions we might not take time to think about in our normal routine; or instead they can refuse to inquire (and miss out on life lessons that could be advantageous for them).

3.   Individuals can be prepared for affliction by identifying with and comforting others who suffer; or instead they can allow suffering to make them self-absorbed and egotistical (as a means of emotional protection).

4.   Individuals are ready to learn from a trustworthy loving Heavenly Father, or instead they reject the Almighty’s ability to bring something truly beautiful out of tragedy.

5.   Individuals are open to being helped by others who are obeying God; or instead they withdraw from the assistance others can provide.

6.   Individuals realize they can identify with Christ’s suffering (on the cross); or instead they can accuse God of being unfair and possibly cause others to also refuse Him as well.

7.   Individuals are sensitive to the amount of suffering in the world; or instead they refuse to be open to any type of change in their lives.

These useful hints won’t eliminate all your suffering (all the time), but hopefully they will provide you with some kind of game plan the next time affliction is headed in your direction. God will always encourage you to do what 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) commands you to do all the time.

“Give all your worries and cares to God; for He cares about you.” Your Heavenly Father wants you to come to Him with anything that’s on your mind. He’s there for you 24/7. That is a promise you can depend on for as long as your life here on Earth exists.

*Adapted from the article, “How Suffering Affects Us,” from The Life Application Bible, New International Version edition.

Uncertain

Do you seriously think God can’t use you?

o  Adam was a zoologist.

o  Eve was a snake handler

o  Noah was a drunk.

o  Sarah couldn’t get pregnant.

o  Abraham had trust issues with God.

o  Jacob was a liar.

o  Leah was ugly.

o  Joseph was abused by his brothers.

o  Moses had a stuttering problem.

o  Deborah was a judge.

o  Gideon was afraid.

o  Samson had long hair and was a womanizer.

o  Rahab was a prostitute.

o  Jeremiah was too young.

o  Balaam talked to a donkey.

o  David had an affair and was a murderer.

o  Bathsheba lost her child.

o  Elijah was suicidal.

o  Isaiah preached naked.

o  Jonah ran from God.

o  Naomi was a widow.

o  Ruth wished to be married.

o  Job went bankrupt.

o  Mary was a virgin.

o  John the Baptist had clothing style issues.

o  Peter denied Christ three times.

o  The disciples fell asleep while praying.

o  Martha worried about everything.

o  The Samaritan woman was divorced.

o  Judas was a traitor.

o  Zaccheus was too small.

o  Paul heard God’s voice.

o  Aquila and Priscilla ministered as a married couple.

o  Timothy had an ulcer.

o  Lazarus was dead.

o  John was a writer that lived on the island of Patmos.

*Inspired by the FIT Fellowship Intercessor Team Intercessor Prayer Guide compiled by Rose Mary Kahler.

Working 9 to 5

With little exception, most people today want to feel useful (and content) with the job they are employed at ( no matter whether it’s part-time of full-time employment). It makes little difference whether the employment is retirement; volunteering, parenting, blue collar (wage earner), or white collar (salary earner). 

God cares about your employment (whatever form that takes) because it affects your moods, which ultimately causes your relationship with the Almighty to be positive or negative. Here are important reminders from the Bible on the area of work.

1.  Though you may have a supervisor at the place you are employed, your ultimate boss is your loving Heavenly Father. Do all to His glory? Are your work ethics meeting His standards? (Ephesians 6:7, I Corinthians 10:31)

2.  Excluding extenuating circumstances, if you are able to work and you don’t then God says you should go without food. Our Heavenly Father takes working seriously. (2 Thessalonians 3:10)

3.  God considers sloppy habits (resulting in poor work) to be as destructive as vandalism. (Proverbs 18:9)

4.  God wants you to be calm, mind your own business, and stay busy with the work (or calling) He’s given you. (I Thessalonians  4:11)

5.  In any area of life, the satisfaction that you did a task well as possible and accomplished a goal is a heady thing. (Psalms 128:2)

6.  Anyone who refuses to take care of His own (either financially or emotionally) is worse than someone who has no faith in the Almighty. (I Timothy 5:8)

To conclude this post, here are some inspiring, thought-provoking quotes on working:

1.  “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”  (Anonymous)

2.  “All happiness depends on courage and work.”  (Honoré de Balzac)

3.  “Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work.”  (Gustave Flaubert)

4.  “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” (President Barack Obama)

5.  “Out of clutter, find simplicity.” (Albert Einstein)

6.  “We often miss opportunity because it's dressed in overalls and looks like work” (Thomas A. Edison)

7.  “Get going. Move forward. Aim High. Plan a takeoff. Don't just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won't happen. Change your attitude and gain some altitude. Believe me; you'll love it up here.” (Donald J. Trump)

8.  “I learned the value of hard work by working hard.” (Margaret Mead)

9.  Once you start working on something, don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.” (Chanakya)

10.     “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” (Confucius)

11.     “Nothing will work unless you do.” (Maya Angelou)

12.     “The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.” (Elbert Hubbard)

13.     “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” (Vince Lombardi)

14.     “All things are difficult before they are easy.” (Thomas Fuller)

15.     “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic. It takes sweat, determination, and hard work.” (Colin Powell)

A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes

The above post title is part of a song from the 1950 Walt Disney animated classic, Cinderella. Though possibility visualization is of vital importance in the beginning of the realization process, if one doesn’t move beyond passive desires of hoping into the accomplishing of an active goal-oriented stage, nothing is accomplished.

Proverbs 29:18 (KJV) confirms the important first step in this process as it confidently proclaims, “Where there is no vision the people perish…”

To clarify what I am saying, let me use my humble wife, Bobbi, as an example. She does not particularly enjoy being the focus of one of my posts. Her servant-like personality wants to help (and encourage) wherever the need exists.

Even as a small child, Bobbi Lynn (McFarlen) Kinker has struggled with her weight. In our forties, I knew that her weight gain had compromised the type of life she wished to live. When all the many diets she tried were unsuccessful, (in my heart) I knew the only thing that would assist her in being a success in her goal of being healthier was bariatric surgery.

I took her fourteen years, to mentally come to the place where she knew this was the right thing to do (no matter the results others had experienced).

One of the moments that solidified the need for this surgery came from her diabetes doctor. (Her diabetes is gone today as a result of the bariatric surgery in the summer of 2014.)

She was warned that if there was not an alteration to her morbid obesity (medical diagnosis) that her life is shortened dramatically.  

Bobbi knew there were many more moments in her daughter’s life that Allena would need a mother’s guidance (and love). She had to be there for her.

I said all of that to make this point. If my wife had not pushed past her fears and doubts to achieve this goal, there is a very real possibility I could have been a widower, or she may have eventually become an invalid. Realize that when you reach your goals, it affects those around you.

Today, all of Bobbi’s eating issues have not magically disappeared. She still watches what she eats, and knows her limits. Her weight fluctuates less than it used to. Bobbi’s quality of life after bariatric surgery is greatly improved health-wise; but there are still a variety of health issues that my wife constantly grapples with.

Whether your desired ventures in life are of the creative, spiritual, travel, health, or financial kind (or something else) absolutely nothing will happen with a mental picture of your hope until you take actions to make it a reality.

You have no idea whether the outcome will be of a negative (or positive) kind. Press beyond what is comfortable for you to find out the true character that was always there. I hope to be there when you finally realize your ability (and your ultimate value to God and those that love you). Memorize Philippians 4:13, and believe it’s unwavering truth.

Bobbi as a kindergartner in the Fall of 1971

2013 family portrait (in back  yard of Gahanna home) left to right, Allena & Rosco,  Bobbi & Chico, Robert & Lola

Bobbi in the winter 2016

Better or Bitter

“Make sure you don’t take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship—a different kind of “sacrifice”—that take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets.”           

I am amazed that when my mind tells me, “you have written your last post, and there’s nothing more to write about” that I will (in great relief) discover some object that’s been in my house for (what seems like) eternity. Since becoming a Blogger, these insignificant objects take on what I now see as big life lessons.

This was the case when I found a bookmark of Allena’s when she’d used it in elementary school (I think) for all the reading she did back then. (See the picture below.) This “girlie” bookmark is missing its tassel (which I assume was pink). It is in shades of purple and pink complete with a cartoon cat, butterfly, and daisy.

At the bookmark, is the child’s version of Hebrews 13:16, which is “share with others.” Take just a moment to reread (and completely understand) The Message translation of this verse (at the top of this post).

In our modern society, people want (and expect) instant gratification in their life today. (Can you think of three examples to illustrate this point?) In our electronic age, it is possible to find “selfless saints” anywhere you want to go.  On the opposite side of that are the “self-centered sinners.”

There anthem is the chorus of the Toby Keith song, “I Wanna Talk About Me”:

I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one 
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me

Of course, there are variations between these two extremes. Do you know what they are? Life is not a Burger King commercial (from 1974). You cannot always “have it your way” in every situation. That is called a dictator, which Vocabulary.com describes as “someone who has absolute power — or who at least behaves as if they do by bossing others around.”

Read these wonderful inspirational quotes (from Biblereasons.com) on the importance of choosing the right friends.

Ø   Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone then in bad company  (Booker T. Washington)

Ø  You become like the five people you spend the most time with [so] choose carefully.

Ø  You don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

Ø  Surround yourself with only people, who are going to lift you higher

 

In closing, what’s the Bible’s take on the importance of who you associate with? (Here are just a few of the many verses from the Easy-to-Read Version, ERV.)

Ø Don’t be fooled: “Bad friends will ruin good habits.     (I Corinthians 15:33)

Ø [If you are friends] with those who are wise, you will become wise. Choose fools to be your friends, and you will have trouble. (Proverbs 13:20)

Ø You can trust what your friend says, even when it hurts. But your enemies want to hurt you, even when they act nice. (Proverbs 27:6)

Ø So encourage each other and help each other grow stronger in faith, just as you are already doing.           (I Thessalonians 5:11)