The Best of Me

The end of my 6 ½ hour Greeter shift on a Wednesday was near. “Barb” had been waiting a 1 ½ hours for an electronic cart as there was no way she could walk her shopping trip without some kind of mobile assistance. She sat quietly on a bench at the front of the store reading the current store advertisements. I had not forgotten her.

Our supply of Amigos (electronic carts) was currently on short supply. Of the eight the store owned, three were due for repair, two were fully dead and needed a complete recharge, and the three good ones were in use. I was hoping there would be an Amigo for Barb by the time I left 2pm. I would skip my afternoon break to make sure she got an Amigo before the end of my shift. 

Fifteen minutes before I was scheduled to go home, an Amigo became available. I felt Barb deserved the best for not leaving our store to go elsewhere. I wanted to make sure I delivered this Amigo personally to Barb to show the appreciation of our store for her loyalty.

I liked “Percy” as my fellow Greeter. Today, he was at the General Merchandise doors. As he saw me coming, I was reminded by him that there was always to be greeter coverage at the Grocery doors (at the other end of the store).

At this point, I had a choice to put the person first (as Jesus, my wife, and the store management would do) or follow the rules, which were often ignored when other more important things needed to be finished as a Greeter. Anyway Percy was another employee just like me, and had no supervisorial abilities to tell me what to do.

With complete irritation, I told Percy to go man the other doors if himself if that was what he wanted done. As Percy left, I hurried the Amigo to Barb, and once again apologized for the delay. Whether Barb told anyone (verbally, written, or electronically) about my desire to make her a happy customer, I was content with choice I’d made as I drove off the store parking lot.

Have you ever had a situation at work where you had to choose between the rules and what was right no matter the consequences to you? What choice did you make? Can your conscience live with the option you chose? In this particular instance, would you do anything differently? These are all important questions to think about. What will you do when those hard-to-determine choices show up with no warning? Be ready. 

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Fifteen year-old freshman, Allena Kinker, had decided to spend a Friday night with her paternal grandmother, Janice Zarbaugh, in Groveport, OH.

In Allena’s eyes, Grandma needed cheered up after the death of her husband, Robert, from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) on October 11, 2011. 

Both Allena’s maternal and paternal grandfathers had passed away before her birth. Robert had been the only grandfather she’d ever known. The relationship between the two had been strong.

It was 9pm (bedtime). Allena was snuggled up in her pajamas as she slipped into slumber on the living room couch. Through the nearby arch slept her grandmother.

At 4am the next morning, Allena’s eyes fluttered open. What she saw made her tongue-tied, nervous, and completely freaked out. Nearby, Allena could hear an exhausted Grandma snoring away, and completely unconscious to the predicament of her granddaughter.

In a nearby chair that used to be occupied by Robert Zarbaugh sat a ghostly version of her smiling grandpa clothed in his usual glasses, t-shirt, and pajama pants. By the time a smiling Robert had stopped at the arch entering his bedroom, he’d changed into the kind of suit, tie, and hat he used to wear to a Sunday morning church service. 

Allena decided she had no desire to see what happen next. The sheets came over head until it all went away. Later that morning (over her cell phone), Allena’s mom was the only person that could talk her out of the meltdown that was beginning to develop in her head. Bobbi’s advice to Allena was to calm down, and think about something else. Grandma Zarbaugh could never hear about this from her.

Over two years later, Bobbi would have her own heavenly guest (see The Visitor) that would have a lasting effect on the mother she is today. Like Allena have you ever had an unexplainable caller in the middle of the night? What did you do? How did you react?

There are many things in life that cannot be reasoned out with your four senses. Though you may think you are different, there are others like you who have also seen the reality of spirits. You are not crazy, but you must come to terms with this ability, or your life will be all you hoped it could be.

She’s a Lady?

Lola is our mixed Chihuahua and Miniature Pinscher female. As of the time of this blog she is currently 3 ½ years old. Lola Boo as we affectionately call her is the biggest rough-housing tomboy I know of. My family has to constantly remind she is not a male dog.

Lola craves personal contact with others. This includes wrestling matches with his older brother Rosco; ear cleanings from his other older brother Chico; snuggling with both my wife and me; pacing back and forth (with her favorite bone in her teeth) from the energy that comes from my daughter (or any of us) about to come through the garage door; and getting her brothers to join in their own Chihuahua version of a wolf howl.

It was around two weeks after Easter in my place of employment. What was left of Easter chocolate, candy and other paraphernalia was marked 70% off the regular price. I was greeting the day my daughter walked in. I told her to check out the dress marked down to $2.99 for Lola. Allena liked it and bought it for me.

The polyester medium-size dress was sleeveless. It attached below the belly with Velcro. Mint green circled the neck and armholes of the two front legs. The majority of the dress was in a plaid white and mint green pattern. The plaid white and violet-colored rose came before the ruffles (pattern and color same as rest of dress) and stiff white crinoline underneath. This leaves both the back legs and tail exposed.

Lola Boo hates the dress she wants it off as soon as we put it on. When she sees the dress come out, Lola runs. The dress is entirely for our entertainment value. It makes me smile every time I hear the crinoline swoosh, the ruffles bounce, and her long tail curls over her back end.

Pets (of all kinds) provide us with unconditional love. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much when we loose them. Have you ever noticed how well they can adapt to our home environment? Once a pet has securely connected to us emotionally; it’s difficult to imagine life without them. Pets are expensive.

They can be a mess at times. They can add an additional expense when planning a vacation. The good things in life can often be the most challenging. Pets keep on love you regardless of your appearance, financial security, or a multitude of other things humans consider important. True devotion is available in a non-human form. I truly believe devotion like this is the closest thing on Earth to compare to how a Heavenly Father adores you.

The Trail

Lola is our mixed Chihuahua and Miniature Pinscher female. Her estimated birth is September 15, 2011. “Lola Boo” as we affectionately call her is the biggest rough-housing tomboy I know of. My family has to constantly remind she is not a male dog.

Lola craves personal contact with others. This includes wrestling matches with his older brother Rosco; ear cleanings from his other older brother Chico; snuggling with both my wife and me; pacing back and forth (with her favorite bone in her teeth) from the energy that comes from my daughter (or any of us) about to come through the garage door; getting her brothers to join in their own Chihuahua version of a wolf howl, excitement for “pee-pee,” and her scary “tooth” smile.

It was around two weeks after Easter in my place of employment. What was left of Easter chocolate, candy and other paraphernalia was marked 70% off the regular price. I was greeting the day my daughter walked in. I told her to check out the dress marked down to $2.99 for Lola. Allena liked it and bought it for me.

The polyester medium-size dress was sleeveless. It attached below the belly with Velcro. Mint green circled the neck and armholes of the two front legs. The majority of the dress was in a plaid white and mint green pattern. The plaid white and violet-colored rose came before the ruffles (pattern and color same as rest of dress) and stiff white crinoline underneath. This leaves both the back legs and tail exposed.

Lola Boo hates the dress she wants it off as soon as we put it on. When she sees the dress come out, Lola runs. The dress is entirely for our entertainment value. It makes me smile every time I hear the crinoline swoosh, the ruffles bounce, and her long tail curls over her back end.

Pets (of all kinds) provide us with unconditional love. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much when we loose them. Have you ever noticed how well they can adapt to our home environment? Once a pet has securely connected to us emotionally; it’s difficult to imagine life without them. Pets are expensive.

They can be a mess at times. They can add an additional expense when planning a vacation. The good things in life can often be the most challenging. Pets keep on love you regardless of your appearance, financial security, or a multitude of other things humans consider important. True devotion is available in a non-human form. I truly believe devotion like this is the closest thing on Earth to compare to how a Heavenly Father adores you.

Give Me a Little Sugar

Like the unpleasant marital reminder described in the post, Grocery Store Looking Glass, I got a health reminder about my diabetes from a customer at work. I greeted “Bea” at my door as she headed to the store advertisements, and fumbled with what she needed for her shopping trip.

I asked if the medical boot she was wearing on her right foot was due to some injury. Bea informed me she was diabetic. For many years, she’d not watched her food consumption. Both her foot and her kidney were affected by her earlier decision. She was in kidney failure, and did dialysis twice a week.

Bea asked me if I exercised regularly (since this was one important component in managing diabetes.) At one time I did work out three times a week. I gave that up when I started at this store doing the physical work out of a Utility Worker.

My wife had been trying to get us to walk in the evening on a nearby track. She hoped to do participate in a fitness challenge in the future. Though it wasn’t right, we’d both used the exhaustion associated with the mental demands of both of our jobs as a reason not to live an active lifestyle. I got the feeling to Bea this was just a bad excuse.

I told her my sugar numbers were not in compliance. I was using Humulin R, the highest potency of insulin available. I loved eating all the time when at home, consuming sugary fruits and carbohydrates (sugar and junk food), and doing that all at night before bedtime (where it can lay on my stomach to increase my weight and agitate my sugar numbers).

I ended our conversation with the follow question, “If you could go back in time, what would you do?” I didn’t get the answer I expected. Bea dejectedly spoke, “I’m afraid I’d probably do the same thing again.”

I really didn’t want to end up like Bea. The mirror she held up was telling a story that gave a conclusion I didn’t want to be mine. I wanted to make changes with all my devilish hunger issues. If you are a “bad” diabetic maybe Bea’s story can provide you with the momentum needed to make positive, permanent lifestyle changes. 

Rejuvenation

On a Saturday evening Bobbi and I were out running our many errands. One of mine was a haircut. I found Great Clips was closed. So I joined my wife for one of her chores at Sally Beauty Supply (across the parking lot) where she went to pick up hair coloring, a mood pick-me-up for her. (Read below. Maybe I should have waited in the car, and listened to the audiobook I was currently enjoying, Best Kept Secret by Jeffrey Archer.)

For some time, I’d thought it might be nice to appear some where in my forties rather than my fifties. (A look that screamed either “fully alive” or “half asleep.”) I picked up a box of ion Color Brilliance Pro-Age Gray Blending 5 Minute Permanent Liquid Hair Color for Men Only. If don’t like it eventually it will come out through repeated washings or haircuts.

My wife totally disagreed with this waste of $5 in her eyes. Simply for the main reason being that I kept my hair so short. she feels it looks vain (and foolish) on her husband. Did you know our society often views women with gray hair as haggard while men are considered debonair? What’s with that double standard?

When I came out of the shower, I looked like a new man. I was uncertain as to how I felt about it. As the box said, “I was taking gray hair undercover.” This coloring promised to add “the pepper in salt and pepper hair.”

My “darkest brown-gray” looked much browner than on the box. Though I looked younger, my bum left knee was telling me it wasn’t true. Come to think of it; I believe a several men I know have this same shade of hair dye on their head.

Every time I look in the mirror now, I wonder who that old man with the dark hair is looking back at me. The next morning (in our car), I discovered there was some brown dye around my hairline. 

Inside the church gymnasium after the service, my pastor said that she had to do a double take when she saw me at the sound system. She liked the new look, and thought it might take to fully grow on me. With my new hair color and cut (before and after my locks getting shorn), I looked a great deal like a fuzzy black chick. See what you think with the attached pictures.

Another man asked who that young man was walking up to him as I approached. He also jokingly asked my daughter if I was her brother. Others thought the look was a good take on me. Are you willing to take a ride on the wild side to rejuvenate the way you feel about yourself?

So Random

At work, I wonder how I get into some of the casual conversations I arrive at with customers. When entering the store, I find the people that enter (or reply back to my salutation) are generally in a cheerful mood. My wife also works part-time at the same store as cashier in addition to her full-time job. Bobbi says she would be thrilled with the happiness of my greeter job because many times as patrons enter check-out some of the happiness I received has worn off.

As “Bruce” was on his way to produce, he stopped by my door to see scratch off his lottery ticket. I asked him what he’d won, and how he cashed in the ticket. I was told $5, and that he could redeem his ticket at the customer service desk. I said my obsessive personality prohibited me from gambling and drinking. I patted my belly, and said the only obsession I indulged in was eating.

In fact I described my weight issues and my diabetes not being controlled. I told him my wife had great control with bariatric surgery. (I refrained from showing Bobbi’s before and after pictures.) Instead Bruce was a great proponent of exercise and food portioning. Maybe his good friend “Carla” had shaped his views on food

Carla was a 680 pound active lawyer. In the midst of rush hour traffic, a box of donuts calmed her down. When Bruce was invited over for dinner one time, Carla’s pre-dinner snack was a whole chicken. Food-wise, Bruce (of normal size) couldn’t keep up with her.

Carla had a past life regression done. It came out that she was regularly starved as a concentration camp victim. She felt this best explained why she currently overate. Bruce believed while he was online with Carla that she passed away. Her brother later confirmed her death.  

Our conversation concluded with Bruce thinking about paying for an online ministerial certificate. I felt that was a demanding job that one needed to be called to. Bruce then proceeded to make one of the most profound statements I’ve ever heard. It went something like this: “I’ve heard that many people who believe they are being called to be a pastor is actually an invitation from God to increased holiness.”

Instead of running with that in a positive light, my short response went something like this: “I’m not sure I could ever live up to God’s standard of holiness because I have so much junk in my life.

Be open to the variety of people the Almighty may bring into your life. There’s no telling what you might be able to learn from each other. A short visit may only occur, or a lifetime friendship could blossom. You have no way of knowing unless you open your heart to some variety (and spice) of the human kind.  Be willing to step outside your comfort zone when God lays that directive on your heart.

Grocery Store Looking Glass

Sometimes we see a reflection of ourselves in the mirror of life, and we aren’t particularly thrilled with the image staring back at us. As I welcomed our guests entering the store, I came across a couple (married, I assumed).

As the quiet, resolute female (“Gabby”) grabbed a shopping cart. For whatever reason, the male (“Griffin”) seemed to be angry and loud before the shopping trip begun. I was disappointed to hear Griffin’s noisy, agitated voice all over the produce section. Was Griffin aware of the spectacle he was making in my place of employment?

Now it’s time to throw that same uncomfortable question back on myself. I have no qualms loudly disagreeing with Bobbi anywhere. It really doesn’t matter what my reasons might be. How does it appear to others? How does it make the woman I pledged my heart and life to? My wife deserves better because I am not an easy man to live with all the time.  I can’t guarantee perfection in making this change, but I will try to improve.

Let’s throw it all back to you. Where in your life are you being unreasonable? However it needs to happen make positive change a reality. No one deserves to live with a grouch.  Become the individual that you’ve always hoped to be. You can do this.

The Amigo

When you work in a store (no matter your position), customers are the “bread and butter” that buy at the store, which eventually pay your salary.  That’s why I try to make everyone entering the store feel at home, respected, and cared for. I really do want them to have a great day.

When I see someone being disrespectful (in any form) to a customer, it infuriates me. Though I did not hear the conversation between an African American man (“Ollie”) waiting for an electric cart (an Amigo, past product name) and one of the Utility Workers (“Carl”), Carl’s body language and facial expression told me the outcome to this situation would not be good.

When Ollie got his electric cart, he made it known Carl was rather rude. Though Ollie tried to justify Carl’s actions, all I could do was apologize. After this, we went on to discuss why greeters at this store aren’t allowed to sit. I answered that it all had to do with looking professional. Ollie soon left to other parts of the store.

Since I could not see the badge (or remember the name) of the rude Utility Worker, the accurate physical description I gave our boss will probably do little good. I doubt any action will be taken. (Justice is not always served up in the way you want it to be.)

If you are in a customer service based job, you realize how your attitude affects everything. That’s the same way in life. People tend to do more for you when you are nicer than mean. We all have problems. Unless someone asks you specifically about them (or you are in counseling), keep them to yourself. Think before you verbally unload. Can this person handle all my junk, or will it push them over the edge? What’s best for them (not me).

The Pebble

Have you ever made a simple mistake that ballooned into much more than you imagined was possible. Likes ripples emanating from a pebble thrown into a pond, the result of your actions have turned into something you wish would vanish away.

A typical work week of standing and welcoming guests took place on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 7am to 2pm. My wife works on the facility that I retired from after my cancer diagnosis. Access to Bobbi’s job is by guard and identification badge.

Most mornings my wife picks up two other passengers that ride into work with her. That morning, I was dressed for work and was carrying the lunch I’d packed the night before. About a minute out Bobbi asks me if she should pull over for me to get my duffle bag out of the trunk of the car where my badge was.

 At that moment, I confessed the both my wallet and badge were at home. There were too many things to pick out, and I had just forgotten an essential part of the morning. I was so upset with myself knowing the confusion to happen very soon for both Bobbi and me.

I was dropped off at the visitor’s center (located before entering the complex) as my wife dropped off her friends. She came back, and gave me the car as she waited for a shuttle bus, which was running late.

By the time Bobbi got to her desk, a ride halfway to her destination from a kind stranger (as well as a brisk walk) had helped her to be only an hour late. For her to leave at her regular departure time, leave was required.

Luckily, I arrived at work a minute late by the time I clocked in. Leaving the visitor’s center always confuses me. Turning into what I thought was an exit, actually would have lead me back into an area I was unauthorized for without my retiree badge.

The security on duty got quite excited and vocal when they saw the direction I was about to turn. I even got a police car to hold back the multiple lanes of traffic as I exited. I know keep my retiree badge in the glove compartment of our car per the suggestion of one of our rider’s.

Can you see how my one innocent mistake had a chain reaction for my wife? Many times it happens this way. Your issue ripples into the lives of those who care about you. As much as someone might want to become completely independent of others, that’s next to impossible. You need others. What you do affects someone. Think about your actions, and make the results that come from an object of beauty.

Indescribable

Have you ever had those moments in your life where your breath is taken away when something positive happens in your life? You didn’t expect it, but you’re sure glad it occurred. My moment began in December 2014 and as far as I was concerned culminated on Sunday, April 19, 2015, as I was dressing for church.

As an adult I’ve struggled with a fluctuating waistline, and how that affected my pants (see Downward Slide). My waist has gone from 54 to 50 to 48. My wife says the weight loss is due to my decrease in food consumption.

I believe my part-time job is responsible. I can’t graze the whole week like some oversized cow when I’m work five out of seven days. At work my eating is limited to my lunch break, and what I bring from home (meat sandwich, sweetened tea, fruit or yogurt). At home (on my days off), the food is all around me.

I am sure the physically demanding job of a Utility Worker burns lots of calories. The position of a Greeter usually involves standing in a small area up to eight hours to welcome customers into store. I’m certain this action strengthens and slims.

On the above Sunday I tried slipping into a pair of gray polyester pants, size 46. Usually by the second leg of a garment, I can predict if I will be able to comfortably snap the waist shut. Everything felt great.

Since luck was on my side, I decided to try on a dressy button-down shirt that had been tight on me before (to the point that the shirt was straining at the buttons). This antique (colonial) blue shirt had light stripes of yellow, black, and blue (same color as shirt) and had a silky feel to it. The shirt buttoned up easily, and was quite loose. Thank goodness it did not accentuate my rather ample belly.

If you are always on the look out for life’s pleasant surprises, you will find them. Sometimes the smallest things mean the most. It doesn’t always take a deed of biblical proportions to move you mood (and attitude) to a more positive place.

Things like an encouraging word via text, someone sharing there lunch with you, or an unexpected kind deed are all examples of difference makers. So just as like unexpected pleasant moments to come your way, try to do that to another deserving person in secret. You may start a chain reaction of love in that individual’s life that never ends.

Sound It Out

If you’ve read my previous posts, you’ve learned that I have a unique (somewhat strained) relationship with church. Worship music puts my nerves on edge (see Misunderstood, but Hopeful). The inactivity of preaching puts me to sleep (see Night, Night). As a grown man, I could skip church entirely, but I knew that wasn’t the right thing for me.

If wasn’t for the creative solution of, “Trevor,” leader of my Thursday Morning Men’s Group (see Masculinity at Its Best); I probably would have ceased going to church all together (much to the dismay of God and Bobbi).

Trevor runs half of the media ministry at my church on Sunday morning. He is in charge of the sound for those speaking and singing. I am in training for the other half of the media ministry. This is done by several different men. It involves a laptop which controls what is shown on the screens.

I’m primarily focusing on making the correct information visible for the congregation to view. When the pastor sticks to the highlighted sermon outline, everything is organized, and a simple click away. Often the pastor will go “freestyle” as she’s lead by the Holy Spirit, which I believe is important.

As a newbie, I don’t quite have the gift of anticipating where the pastor will go with her message. When these times occur, I ask for back-up as I do the best I can. My decisions must be made within seconds.

This ministry definitely keeps me alert. From this vantage point the music isn’t quite as abrasive, and the sermon definitely catches my attention if there is an opportunity to concentrate on it for a few seconds.

Is there a challenge in your life that need’s a creative solution? Why not ask a trusted friend for advice? Together maybe the two of you can come up with something you would have never thought up on your own.  Ask God for an answer; look on the Internet; or in the environment around. The same old thing will not work this time. Come out with your resolve firmly in place, and don’t give in until the needed response is present.  

The Comedy of Errors

Though I’m not big on the challenging language of Shakespeare plays like the above title, I do enjoy listening to all the intricacies of people communicating with each other. As a people watcher, I find human beings endlessly entertaining. At the “grocery-side” door I was greeting at, a special family event made me chuckle.

An Asian mother and her teenage son (“Vivian and Roy”) were now in the produce department with a very full grocery cart. The cart was parked next to another one that could have been its twin. The duo went the next aisle over to look for the vegetable of their choice.

I don’t remember if Vivian and Roy found what they were looking for. Vivian took “a cart” and headed down the pathway leading to the “general merchandise” side of the store.

She didn’t get far before I saw her look down at what she’d picked up, and exclaim with a chuckle to Roy, “Oops, these aren’t our groceries.” Mother and son returned to the produce department, corrected the error, and left with the right shopping cart.

How many difficult issues in life have you ever wished could be solved with a simple switch? Correcting mistakes (or sincerely apologizing) is an important growth factor in life. It helps you mature into a more empathetic individual.  Sometimes it can happen, and other times prayer is the only thing that can make a lasting change. None of this is easy. It takes a great deal of humility. Everyone can do this-including you.

Nail It Down

Prior to our window appointment (see Window Washer), I took our Chihuahua, Chico, to the veterinarian to have his toenails cut, which my wife felt were getting too long and painful for him. Chico was one of the brothers in the two-dog combination my family adopted when I was going through cancer in 2009 (see Pet Smarts).

Though Chico has chosen to specifically be my wife’s dog, he spends time with each member of my family when the whole group is together.  My wife calls him “Chunky Monkey” with great affection. The nicknames I’ve given Chico may not be as sweet as Bobbi’s, but he means the world to me (see Leaving with a Friend).  “Fat Boy” and “Snore Whore” (loves napping and snoring) don’t effect Chico’s self esteem. All he cares about is “doggy food” (special dance for this), treats, and “pee-pee” time.

Chico is the best actor I’ve ever met . When Bobbi cuts his nails, she gets wiggling, howling, lots of nervous hair loss, and those twitching large ears and big expressive sad eyes looking into her face (and soul) as if to convey, “Why are you doing this to me?” According to the vet’s office, Chico was calm during trimming time.

Is their something in your life you’ve been avoiding? It could be a health procedure, apologizing to someone, or completing a project. The longer you wait. The worse it will become in your mind. Take it from experience. It is not worth the emotional hassle you’ll experience to delay it. You’ll sense a burden has been lifted from off your shoulders when this challenge is completed. You can be successful at this. Have a little faith in yourself.

Window Washer

We had requested an appointment at 7pm on a Tuesday with a leading window specialist to look into the cost of replacing both our front room picture window and the back-of-the house sliding glass door. Both are old, and cause a big shift in the temperature of this main floor.

I don’t think the salesman, “Maurice Washer,” knew what to make of Bobbi and me. In the midst of applying for our installment loan (to purchase the items we wanted), signing papers, and being instructed on what made this company’s windows superb (quality is not cheap), our one hour appointment stretched into two. 

Bobbi and I believed it was important to know every personal item about Maurice that was possible. For me, the real enjoyment of life involves being allowed to veer off in all directions to make this appointment something that won’t soon be forgotten.

We learned (and saw on his cell phone) the accomplished art of Maurice, Mr. Washer had a young adult daughter that played various instruments, was on his second wife, had Lymphoma (like me), was a pilot, worked in the insurance field, and lived in Florida (around Disney World).

In return, Maurice learned Bobbi had weight loss surgery (saw the cell phone before picture), about our three Chihuahuas (who intermittingly barked from their cage the whole appointment), and that I had a blog, which I gave him the address to.

Have you gotten to know someone new lately? Getting to know people different than yourself can add a lot of spice (and variety) to your life. Don’t be scared to reach out to those unlike yourself. Just think your new best friend may be waiting around the next bend in your life road. 

Fruity Feet

When a customer (guest) does something for that shows empathy for me, it always surprises me and makes my day a joyful one. This excludes the mindless phrase many say as a social nicety. “How are you doing?” (see Say What You Mean) Everyone wants to hear “fine” whether it’s true or not.

Once “Kyndra” was done with her grocery shopping trip, she stopped at the door I was greeting at to ask me a question about my health that had been bothering her. “Do your feet hurt?” I told her they did after I stood anywhere from four to six hours during my shift.

Kyndra then went on to tell me about the time period she’d worked for a fruit processing plant.  Her job (of processing and standing) had lasted daily anywhere from eight to twelve hours.

She definitely understood (and comprehended) a sore back, legs, and feet. Kyndra wondered if standing on the carpet instead of the vinyl flooring might help me. If I did that, I felt like I would be in the way of the people getting into the store. I explained my expensive shoe inserts really supported my feet quite a bit. Our conversation ended with me giving my appreciation for her concern as she left.

The next time anyone demonstrates love to you in any form. Accept this gift at face value, and give a grateful “thank you.” It’s that simple. Don’t rob someone of the ability to bless you with what God may be telling them to do. Are you to good to receive a message or gift from the Almighty? I don’t think so. This is a good thing you need to receive from a heart of humility and gratitude. You need this more than you realize. Be prepared for it when it shows up in your life when you least expect it.

Deadly and Delicious

I just love listening to a great audiobook series. It gives me time to settle in with the location, plot, and characters in the series. It usually takes me several days to come down from my “book high, “and comes to terms that I may not see them for a while until the author writes another installment. It is a semi-sad moment for me.

I simply love the Hannah Swensen Mystery Series by Joanne Fluke.  I’m always guaranteed a good clean (absent of vulgarity) read that keeps me guessing to the very end.  The heroine of the unique characters you’ll meet throughout this series is baker (and amateur sleuth) Hannah Swensen of The Cookie Jar in Lake Eden, MN.

 A common factor in each of Joanne Fluke’s books is that one of her baked goods is found somewhere around the dead person. You are guaranteed that the dessert featured in the title of the book will featured somewhere prominently in the novel.

I can’t describe how thrilled I was to discover Hallmark Movies & Mysteries will be airing the first installment of Murder, She Baked on May 2, 2015 at 9pm. Hannah is being portrayed by actress Alison Sweeney. 

This first movie in the series is based on the author’s first book in the series, Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder. Whether through book or TV, take a visit to Lake Eden, MN, to eat at The Cookie Jar. 

A Teachable Moment

One of the positives of my job as a Greeter is that I never know who is going to walk through the glass doors I am patrolling. It may be family, friend, or a stranger that needs my assistance. Whoever it is I want to give them to feel they are of the utmost most importance to me. I will use every skill I have to get a resolution to their challenge.

Sometimes someone walks into the store that you have a commonality with. The discussions that ensue are the best part of your day. The estimated forty-five minute discussion with the retired teacher, “Lizette,” went all over the spectrum. Our talk went on in the midst of me interrupting it every couple minutes to welcome other customers streaming into the grocery side of the store.

Lizette and I had both been a Substitute Teachers (see Substitutions Allowed and Forgetful Moments). Her specialties included high school English, Journalism, and Special Education.

She now worked in the grading area of the state’s standardized testing. We both agreed many times that a teacher is required to instruct students towards taking the state’s standardized testing, Many times creative learning is forgotten.

On November 4, 1970, Lizette attended Marshall University in Huntington, West Virginia. She was at the school when the after effect of the plane crashed; killing the entire football team. This was depicted in the 2006 movie, We Are Marshall.

Near the end of my shift a union representative, “Jake,” happen to come through the general merchandise door I was guarding (opposite of where Lizette was). I discussed some of the challenges I faced as a Greeter such as the long hours of standing.

It seemed like everyone was doing a dress code infraction that I’d be unable to get away with. It wasn’t fair. Jake stopping by my door to get a store advertisement could be looked as an act of divine providence. Somehow, I hoped what I said would make some kind of difference for somebody other than me.

Life is full of surprises, joys, and times of complete honesty. It’s important to be completely in the moment so you don’t miss a thing. Being honest is an act of freedom, but being truthful can have negative results. You alone must discover what is acceptable to you.  Most the time, your existence in the world is exactly what you make it. Choose to make it bright by turning the negative into spectacular.

Question and Answer

Have you ever heard the following statements from other people about yourself many times throughout your life? “No ones ever asked me that question.” “I’ve never thought of it that way.”“I was too scared to ask that question, but I’m glad you did.” “You’re quite bold. Does anything scare you?” “How could you possibly know about that? I’ve never mentioned that to anyone.” If this sounds familiar, you are not odd. God has chosen you to have the special gift of intuition.

This is the ability to know (or guess correctly) without traditional means of figuring the situation out. You are the person in the crowd who knows exactly the correct question to ask to get to the heart of a situation (with the precision of a fine craftsman). You are not afraid to vocalize (or write) what needs to be said.

 Your insights can bring healing to someone who is suffering emotionally. It’s been this way all your life. This sense of perception is your normal. You often sense things in your mind (without physical evidence) about people’s character that later proves to be accurate. You don’t ask to know people’s deepest secrets. It just comes to you whether you like it or not.

If I have just described you, you have a responsibility to use your abilities for the good of others to bless them (or psychologically heal them). God has entrusted you with a very special gift. Don’t hide it. Others need what you have. “Let your light shine.” (Matthew 5:16)

Breathless

If you’ve picked up food from Chipotle Mexican Grill, maybe you’ve noticed maybe you’ve noticed over the years the variety of ideas expressed on the cups and bags (through writing and art) as you are consuming your meal. Maybe you thought “that’s interesting” as your eyes skimmed over it.

Chipotle Mexican Grill challenged a large diversity of well-known authors, leaders, and comedians to provide inspiration, challenge, introspection, and laughter all though the Cultivating Thought-Author Series (via your carry out order).

Author Amy Tan (of the memoir, The Joy Luck Club, The Bonesetter’s Daughter, and Kitchen God’s Wife) was challenged to write in three hundred words about anything she wished. The quote I saw on my daughter’s bag of food (she frequents here often) resonated so deeply in my soul that I had to share it with all of you. Here it is.

“I was punched breathless with the strongest emotions I have ever felt and they are now stored in my intuition as a writer.” If you are not the writing type, here is an important fact you may not realize.

The good fiction writer (or creator) is much like an excellent actor. For both of these genres, they must become that character. Here is a real-life example from the Lifetime channel of the actress.

Christina Ricci is quite believable in her role as the murderous Lizzie Bordon in both Lizzie Bordon Took an Ax (2014) and semi-fictitious The Lizzie Bordon Chronicles (2015). Christina Ricci does not have the murderous tendencies of the character she is playing, but you would not know that. To be Lizzie, Christina had to completely inhabit the personae of this historical character.

For Amy Tan to be the fabulous author she is, it was required for her to inhabit (or empathize with) the emotions of her character to come up with something life-like with the readers.

No matter what your avenue of creativity may be. Somehow connect it to your emotions for others. When others can make a human connection with what you’ve envisioned, I believe it will be a hit.

Totally Surprised

I had performed this important function for an assortment of people in a variety of places. I cannot recall anyone ever doing it for me while I was at work (see A Broken Parakeet). I am an advocate of this because I’ve seen it work. What am I talking about? The answer is “prayer” (see Pray Continually).

On Wednesday, as I am giving my standard welcoming salutation at the glass “produce” doors, I got in a quick conversation with a mom and her three teenagers (Two females and a male). She was from a local church in town starting with the letter “z.”

When asked if there was anything I needed immediate prayer for, did I come up with some big important item? Of course not, I had already been standing for several hours as a greeter. The only thing to come to mind was for my feet to stop hurting.

I accepted this rapid invitation to a few moments with the Heavenly Father on my behalf. I profusely thanked the lady as they progressed to other parts of the store to shop. Actually, my feet did feel much better.

The next day I mentioned this incident at my Thursday morning men’s group (see Masculinity at its Best). The group agreed with my wife when I told them my wife felt the whole shopping experience for a customer was set by the tone established by the door greeter.

One of the men in the group and a personal friend, Crandall (see Anger at the Almighty), challenged me by saying a speedy prayer for every passing through the portals I attended. Only time will tell the difference it will make.

I put the same call to arms for intercession with the Almighty that was given to me. Find a particular location where you attitude needs a major adjustment. Give it a week. See how much God changes the deep places of your heart. Are you game for this simple opportunity for growth.

Brace Yourself

Braces have the ability to make crooked teeth straight, which can affect the self-esteem of the individual receiving them. Orthodontist Dr. W. Charles Buchsleb, II, wants people to “smile with style.”

Take just a few seconds to think of all the emotions a smile can convey-love, joy, confidence, concern, uncertainty, affection, evil-just to name a few in this wide spectrum of feelings.

The good thing about a smile on the outside is that it eventually affects how one feels internally. It’s a natural law that if you act like you are happy, your emotions eventually follow.

If you don’t believe me, try it on your worse day, and see what happens. Proverbs 15:13 (MSG) says, “A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.”

So the next time you smile at someone whether it is at work, home, or in-between, think about what you are conveying and how it makes you feel (deep down inside) to convey that message to those around you.

The positive non-verbal note your face can be giving out could be a life-changer for someone. (It might even be the difference between life and death.) With practice, “smile with style” can become more than just a clever saying by advertising firm for an orthodontist. It can (and should) become a way of life.

One More Time

Some of you might recall “Cleo” from my work that I turned in for prejudice comments (see Open Mouth and Insert Foot). Did you ever wonder what happen with my complaint? I discovered on the same day of this incident that it conveniently got lost. My guess is to protect Cleo’s employment.

As with the previous post, Cleo was in rare form at 9am in the employee break room. On the TV was a female discussion panel of four women of various ages and body types. The program title had the word “real” in it. The topic was female body image.

Cleo’s first unacceptable comment came out something like this (referring to one of the thinner women on the panel) “She doesn’t want to be that fat girl.” The next remark was made to a co-worker close to the TV screen. He was told something resembling “sit in front of the fat girl so I don’t have to look at her.”

Once again I kept my mouth shut, but I was fuming. I left before my break was over. This time I planned on going to his supervisor. I don’t hold irritation very well. I become flushed on my face and rather large and menacing. I went to several employees trying to find the right person.

One employee made this comment, “That’s just Cleo.” No one seemed to be surprised he was the employee I named. Translation: “Cleo has always gotten away with whatever he wishes to say. We are OK with him offending others even though this store has a 0% harassment policy.”

Eventually, I gave my account to the right person, and documented on paper this incident, and the prior one on paper. If I had to be the catalyst in changing stuff like this, so be it. I had at one time given Cleo the benefit of the doubt with being a bigot. With this second occurrence, I was convinced that he was prejudice.

Once I was calm enough to be back at the general merchandise door to greet, Cleo found out about my talk with his supervisor, and tried to come over to smooth things out.  (As angry as I still was this was a poor move on his part.)

His conversation consisted of tell me that I was taking this whole thing out of context. The translation for this means, “I’ve been caught and could lose my job. Please don’t take this any further.”I told Cleo I knew exactly what he’d meant with his words 

Cleo explained he had no problems with large women. He had a female relative that was one. I explained my wife was a former large woman. I would never say those kinds of things to her. Why would you do that?

By this time, I knew my former complaint on Cleo had never been filed. I asked Cleo why he’d made the negative comment about the guy on the talk show. His answer just showed his outright stupidity. He believed anyone in Hollywood deserved to be made fun of.

Two customers later in the afternoon were memorable after my fiasco. An older woman in an electric wheel chair with a violet fisherman’s cap (had no use of her arms) needed to pick up a pair of café curtains.  Before we found the right product with the correct color and a “coffee” design, I helped to adjust her right arm correctly for comfort.

A Hawaiian gentleman with tattoos asked me about elephant ear plants. My brain only heard “elephant ears.” Away we went to the pet section for dog treats (lots of pig ears on the shelves). Eventually things got clarified, and we walked over to the Home and Garden center. This customer did not find what he was looking for, but both of these shoppers seemed to be pleased with the personal attention I gave them.

By now you know life is full of the good (sunshine) and the bad (rain). Always do the best with what your lot is in life. If something is important to you, stand your grounds no matter the personal repercussions. You can’t feel good about whom you are unless you make was is valuable to you a priority.

Coming Attractions

Anyone who knows me is aware of how proud I am of all the weight my wife, Bobbi, has lost as a result of her bariatric surgery on 8/27/14 (see My Three Wives). She is a changed person (on the healthier side) forever. Both her diabetes and asthma are gone, and joint pain is at the bare minimum. To see her before and after, check out the pictures on the post Metamorphosis.

I am in the beginning stages to see if I would be a good candidate for weight loss surgery. My diabetes doctor is in favor of this because my diabetes is not as much under control as it should be.

Some people might say that if I can go from 365 pounds to 329 as a result of exercise and the dietary change our whole family when Bobbi had her surgery, I should be able to lose those excess pounds with a lot of prayer and will power.

Why get this drastic? My desire to consume both good and bad foods is an evil thing. It resembles a spoiled child. If the desire is not met correctly, my want for it comes back even stronger. I believe the only way I’ll ever get control of it is through this permanent lifestyle change.

I have always believed knowledge is power, but in this case I wonder if I know too much. If I allow myself to, fear could take over easily. I am assured that an empathetic Bobbi will be with me every step of the way as she mothers me into complete recovery.

There are some things that I do remember with my wife that could be my lot in the distant future. There is the caring for and healing of the incision and drain whole wound. The ingestion of daily protein is important in keeping hair growth. The diet in recovery transitions from liquid to semi-solids to solids. My wife’s appetite is quickly satiated with the small amount of food she eats. One is not allowed to eat and drink at the same meal (because this eliminates the nutrients your body needs). In the area of sweet stuff “diet, no sugar added, and sugar free” become a welcomed way of life.

Each pill (of those still being taken) must be swallowed ten minutes apart (so the body can ingest them all). Slow sipping of beverages is encouraged as opposed to mindless guzzling. Instead of us eating two separate meals; Bobbi takes a small amount from me when we eat at a restaurant. Eventually after reaching one’s final goal; there’s all the loose skin to deal with.

 Clothing is constantly becoming too big; meaning one has to shop a lot more. (Is that good or bad?) I think the “thin Bobbi” gets more positive than the older version of her did. Would this make a difference in the self-esteem issues connected to my appearance?

No more eating for a small family of four (until I was about to pop). I hear many weight loss patients have less joint pain After watching my wife work at maintaining this new standard of living; I realize that most people who don’t succeed at this method of body remodeling have stopped following the established rules.

Very few things in life happen without some sort of growing pains of either the physical or emotional kind. If you are reading this right now, I am asking you to stop and say a prayer for me as I see where all this leads to. (I’ll take whatever you got.) I’m also counting on you to make small step to just one of your goals. With God’s help I know we can both be successful beyond our wildest dreams.

Out of Control

It was a Saturday. I had just returned home from a four hour shift as a greeter with a car fool of groceries. I have had many opportunities to assist people with their needs among the usual ones were the direction of the bathrooms, customer service, carts, and Easter candy. I was able to find out for one woman (through the assistance of my local library) that Easter Lilies are toxic to cats (and not dogs).

Another customer was having issues with a bird pecking dents into her car. I told her my family bird story (see For the Birds). We went to both the pet and seasonal departments looking for solutions. She left with nothing but the library phone number with which she could possibly get assistance from Audubon society.

My wife came out to help me with the groceries. She reminded me that the cosmetic woman (“Margie”) from the lady’s event at church was here. Once the groceries were in my adult daughter gleefully tells me, “I’m going to be a make-up consultant.”

At that point, I wish I had remembered Proverbs 14:29 (MSG) “Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.” Though I should have been happy in this step of maturity for Allena, instead I was quite irritated at that moment. Several options lay before me, I could make my displeasure know to my family privately after Margie left, or display my anger to everyone present (including our visitor).

I chose the less mature option. My loud five minute tirade (as a red-faced devil) left me looking foolish, my dog Lola running for cover, and the other three people in the room embarrassed and cringing. (The only thing receiving physical abuse later after Margie left was the tube of toothpaste I threw in the direction of my room.)

My wife feels my angry outbursts are a neurological effect from my brain surgery in 2009 to find the type of cancer I had. My blatantly honest mother disagreed, and says I’ve always been that way.

Later after I calmed down, Margie graciously accepted this text apology below (via Bobbi). “I am so sorry for my scary outburst today.  I do want my daughter to succeed. I have lived with Allena all her life. I know her unsuccessful starting tendencies. I don’t want her to be hurt by this. Today, I felt like my daughter was going off a cliff. I had to do something drastic.”

I am writing this on Easter morning 2015 (before church), and have just had a heated disagreement with my family on something extremely stupid. Who is allowed to let off flatulence in the home? Who cares? Maybe I need to take my own advice. So think before you yell. What are the after effects? Have you considered other options in making your point known?

The Calling of Robert

In the middle of Food Network’s cooking competition show, Chopped, my wife asked me a very profound question. “Have you ever thought how easier our marriage might have been if you had done what God told you to do a long time ago?”

We both knew what she was talking about. In my late twenties at my home church (see Church by Choice), I had felt a stirring in my soul to further that being a pastor might be the right calling for me. I had talked to a minister about it, and was told to do as I felt God was leading me.

Like so many people do, I managed to talk myself out of it. I’ve told myself the profession is too difficult, I’m not pastor material, this scares me, and the list could continue on into eternity. I cannot express to you throughout the years the multitude of people that have either told me I should be a pastor, or am I currently one.

To further quiet Bobbi’s line of questioning, I chose to reply with another question. “Are you ready to be a pastor’s wife? Don’t you think if I wasn’t meant to do this, God would give you the calling to?” The answer to the first question was “no.”  I only got silence to the second question.

Sometimes I am disgusted by my fear and weakness. I can be extremely bold when it comes to advising others on what they need to do in their own life. It’s not so easy when the finger is pointed at me. At this stage of my life, I seriously doubt if a pastor is a career choice I’ll ever make. All my excuses could go to the moon and back. Unlike me, listen to the first time God lays something on your heart. It makes life so much easier and happier.  

The Roller Coaster

How far would you be willing to sacrifice for someone you love? On the New York Life Insurance commercial, two parents make the ultimate sacrifice for their teenage children. They prepare to go on a roller coaster with them. Whatever was being said about insurance, I missed most of it.

I kept looking at the horrified faces of these parents knowing what was about to happen any minute. I did manage to catch the last line. It said, “You can never go too far for the ones you love.” I couldn’t have expressed it any better.

When was the last time you went completely out of your comfort zone for a family member or friend? Did you feel good about yourself for making this personal contribution? Would you ever do it again?

Sometimes making time to chat with someone who is depressed can become a life changing moment for them when it cost you very little. Personally delivering a small, inexpensive gift, or taking care of a needed home repair chore are two great ways of making it known you are present for someone when they need you.

Bigger gestures of money are always needed and appreciated, but I personally believe it is the small gestures of kindness that speak the loudest in our hearts. You can never go wrong in being a modern-day Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37). Going out of your way to do good for others will make your heart joyful as well, and cause pride in the heart of the Almighty for your attitude of care for those He dearly loves (Mark 12:31).